“Why are they still married if they aren’t together?”
“It’s a long story, but at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter, because he is married, even if they aren’t living together or sharing a bed.” I blink as tears fill my eyes. “It sucks, because I really do care about him, but I won’t settle. I will never settle again.” But God how I wish I could be with him. He’s everything I want, everything I will ever want. My heart aches, unable to be with the one man who sets my soul on fire, and I know my sister can see my pain, even though I’m trying my best to hide it.
“I’m sorry, Cece.”
“Me too.” I push away from the counter. “I’m going to go wake up the girls and get them ready for school.”
“I’ll come up and help.”
“I got it. Finish your coffee, and if you don’t mind, add some water to some pancake mix,” I request.
“Sure.” She smiles.
“Thanks.” I kiss the side of her head when I pass her by on my way upstairs.
“Grandma! Grandpa!” Ruby, Lola, and Kate shout as they run up the sidewalk toward Mom and Chaz, who arrived while I went to pick the girls up from school.
“My babies!” Mom cries, dropping to her knees and opening her arms wide. “Oh, I missed you all so much.” She smothers each of them with kisses before allowing them to go to Chaz, who is standing back and waiting for his chance to hug them.
“Do you think they’ll notice if we take off for a few days?” I murmur to Mia when I step up on the porch.
“Probably not,” she mumbles back, wrapping her arm around my waist and resting her head on my shoulder. “How do you feel about Jamaica?”
“Sun, sand, cold drinks… what’s not to like? But since I’m broke, you should book the tickets,” I joke, and we both laugh.
“What are you two laughing about?” Mom asks, coming up the steps with Chaz and the girls following close on her heels.
“Nothing,” we both say at the same time, cutting off our laughter.
She eyes both of us skeptically then sighs. “All right then, let’s get the girls a snack and figure out what we should do for dinner.”
“I have work tonight, Mom, so you’ll have to work with Mia on dinner plans,” I say as we walk into the house and head toward the kitchen.
“I thought you were going to see about getting the night off?” Mom pouts.
“I tried, but a few girls are out with a bug that’s been going around. I should have the entire weekend off though, so maybe we can go do something—”
“Can we go to Gatlinburg?” Kate asks, cutting me off with a hopeful smile.
“That would be fun.” Mom’s eyes widen at the possibility. “I’ll look for a cabin tonight. A weekend in the mountains sounds like a great idea.”
I look at each of my girls before saying quietly, “I’ll have to talk to your dad about that, since Saturdays are his.” I didn’t even think about that until this moment. It’s the first time I would ever have to ask Mike about a change in our usual schedule since we’ve been separated.
“But—” Mom starts.
“We’ll find something to do,” Chaz inserts, using a tone I haven’t heard him use before as his gaze locks with Mom’s. He must’ve had a talk with her on their way here about taking it easy on me and not being overbearing. I love him even more in this moment than I already did.
“Right.” She lets out a breath. “We’ll find something fun to do.” She walks to the girls. “Now, what do you think we should eat for dinner? I’m thinking ice cream or cake.”
“Cake,” Lola and Kate say in unison.
“Ice cream.” Ruby laughs.
“You’re not feeding the girls cake or ice cream for dinner, when I never had that when I was their age,” Mia complains, rolling her eyes. “How about pizza?”
“You’re no fun.” Mom sighs dramatically, making the girls laugh, and the tension in the room disappears like it was never there.
“Too bad.” Mia walks across the kitchen, pulls out the menus from the drawer near the fridge, and hands them over to Mom so she and the girls can look at them.
Chaz wraps his arm around my shoulders and kisses the side of my head. It feels like coming home for the first time after a century away. Mia walks toward us when Chaz holds out his arm toward her, and I hear and feel his sigh of happiness when both his girls are in his embrace.
My teenage years would’ve been… unbearable if Mom hadn’t met Chaz. Even as fucked up as I am with all my daddy issues, at least I had one man who proved to me there are good men in this world. He fell in love with a woman who had two kids by a man who was absent, and he didn’t mind filling that void. It makes me realize that with Winston’s declaration of being in love with me and his persistence to be in my life, he’s also telling me without words that he’d be willing to take on that same burden, to be a father figure to three little girls who aren’t his.