If he thought I was overreacting, he didn’t say anything about it.
“I know what it takes to be a prostitute, Perrie.”
“Did you moonlight during the police academy?”
“No, I got one pregnant. Except she was my girlfriend before she was anything else.”
Oh my god.
He stuffed his hands in his pockets. “Zac’s mother was a narcissist. She had to be the center of everyone’s world. We were young when we got together, but it wasn’t until she was pregnant that I realized how toxic she was. There was so much focus on the baby and she hated it. She resented him when he was born because everybody cared about him more than her.
“I found out when Zac was three months old that she’d been prostituting herself since she was eighteen. Most of our relationship. She even did it while she was pregnant, because apparently people like that stuff. We didn’t have a heavy relationship then because I was hyper-focused on work, thank god. But she loved it. She loved the attention she got from the men. She literally thrived on being a whore because she was all that mattered.”
“Oh my god,” I whispered.
“She was killed when Zac was almost three. Her client was a trafficker, but the drugs he used to knock her out were bad. He was a rookie who had his real name on the hotel. He was pulled in three days later and charged with her murder and a bunch of other shit.”
I had no idea what to say.
What was I supposed to say to that?
“Don’t be sorry for me. I was glad. She was cruel and fought me every step of the way for custody of Zac. She kept her outward appearance squeaky clean and make it hard for me to get custody. I was about to lose him when she died and all the truth came out. There were investigations into why nobody knew she was an addict and prostitute. She was poison, pure and simple.”
“Does Zac remember her?”
He shook his head. “No. He knows most of the truth, because my sister has a big mouth. I guess it’s good. Stops him finding out and being mad later. But he’s why I do the job I do. I don’t want another kid to lose their parent because of this.”
The realization was swift and painful.
“That’s why you let me go.” My voice was barely a whisper. “You let me go because of Lola.”
He nodded. Barely, but it was there. “I look into Katie’s eyes so many times when we arrest them. Women who do it for the thrill and because they love it. Because they don’t care. But I didn’t see that in you. I saw someone who was terrified they were going to be punished and lose the only thing they had worth living for in this world.”
I put my glass down and looked away from him. My lungs constricted, and the tears that burned my eyes had me squeezing them tightly.
He’d nailed it.
All the things I’d felt that night we met and I was in the back of his car, he’d nailed it.
“You didn’t have to let me go,” I said quietly, composing myself.
“No, I didn’t. But I wanted to. I wanted to change your life for the better.”
“Yet, here I am, standing in front of you in my kitchen, trying to decide if I’m still angry at you for putting me in the same path that killed your ex.”
His jaw clenched, but he nodded in agreement. “Fair enough. I can’t argue with that.”
Goosebumps danced up and down my arms. I rubbed my hands across them to relieve them, but they didn’t go anywhere.
“Perrie…” Adrian came closer to me, and I stared at the floor, at his sneaker-clad feet. “Nothing would have happened to you tonight. I promise you. I would have broken his fucking neck before anything did.”
The raw conviction in his voice made my heart thump faster.
“I don’t need a hero.”
“I’ll always save you anyway.”
I met his eyes. His unguarded, shining, honest eyes. “I’m not the person you need to be a superhero for, Adrian. Someone like me has already destroyed your life once.”
He took my face in his hands. “She’s nothing like you. She couldn’t be any more opposite to you. You are a thousand of who she was. And you don’t get to tell me who I do or don’t need—that’s like me telling you you don’t need me.”
“I don’t need you,” I said honestly. “But I do want you.”
He ended the conversation with a kiss.
All the frustration I’d felt since we’d left the hotel melted away with his lips against mine. The revelations he’d made wound their way into the back of my mind as he pulled me closer and kissed me deeper.
My entire body sparked to life. His tongue tasted of woody whiskey. Mixed with the burn of his fingers as they traveled my body, I was intoxicated, drowning in him.