A horrified cry burst from her chest and she covered her mouth with a shaky hand as her knees gave out, but I caught her before she could hit the floor. That same cry tore through her throat but was muffled by her hand—her stare never wavering from my computer.
“Out, Briar,” I said again, this time softer, but her fists started flying as soon as I moved her to the door.
“You knew! You knew! How could you?” She clawed at my face when I stopped one fist. Tears streamed down hers as she demanded, “How long have you been doing this? How could you do this?”
It was the first time she had cried in so long that I didn’t know what to do. I wanted to pull her into my arms and comfort her, but I knew that wasn’t what she wanted especially since I was the one she was trying to hit.
“We’ll talk about it out—” My words cut off when I glanced behind me and saw Kyle’s Facebook profile still pulled up—both of his pictures in clear view. “Shit.”
“Let me talk to him. Let me tell him I’m okay,” she screamed when I picked her up and forced her over my shoulder.
Her screaming didn’t stop as I hurried up the stairs and across the upper level of the house. I passed her room and continued to a place I swore I’d never see her in again, but I couldn’t think of what else to do at that moment. As soon as I was in the starter room, I bent and shoved her off me and onto the floor then stepped back into the hall and shut the door. I barely had it locked before she slammed into it.
I pressed my forehead and palms against the door as agony, nausea, and guilt swirled in my stomach.
“Lucas!” she screamed as she yanked on the handle. “How could you? I hate y—” Loud sobs burst from her and filtered into the hallway.
I wanted to die. I had her . . . I’d had her . . . and I’d just ruined everything.
“Fuck!” I slammed my fists against the door and shoved away, leaving my girl broken and alone.
Chapter 28
Promise Not To Chase You
Briar
“Blackbird fly, blackbird fly,” I sang quietly, numbly, “into the light of the dark black night.”
My mouth shut and eyes slowly traveled from the carpet to the doorknob when I heard footsteps outside the door. I had been in this painful room for hours and hadn’t left where I’d crumpled into a heap just inside. I hadn’t seen a reason to move. I’d felt numb, yet still completely aware of everywhere I was broken. Moving would just hurt more.
Lucas had researched me. My face had been on his computer screen. Kyle’s profile had been on his computer screen.
Until we’re old and gray, and then long after.
I couldn’t get Kyle’s sign out of my head. Could he still feel that way after all this time?
It had only been a little over two months, but here with Lucas it had seemed like lifetimes. Long enough for me to see the true Lucas and fall in love with him. Long enough for me to choose any type of future with him over returning to Atlanta.
Despite the unexpected and overwhelming reminder of my life with Kyle, I knew I would still choose Lucas. But knowing he’d researched me made me feel like the last months had been an act to get me to want him . . . and he’d just been laughing as he’d watched Kyle’s pain.
He is the devil.
The door unlocked and opened, and Lucas stood there with his arms folded over his chest. He was struggling to maintain a blank expression, but other intense emotions kept fighting and winning with brief glimpses. His eyes were bloodshot and puffy, and it took me a second to realize it looked like he had been crying. But devils didn’t cry.
“Do you still love him?” he asked, his tone sure and not showing any of the war playing out on his face.
“Yes,” I replied after a brief hesitation. There was no falling out of love with Kyle and our past. He had been my best friend, and I’d planned on spending the rest of my life with him. I would always love him in a way.
Lucas stared straight ahead for a minute with a resigned look on his face, not seeing anything in that room. Unfolding his arms, he placed his hands in his pants pockets and hardened his expression. My chest tightened, and I wanted to cry all over again at seeing this man in front of me.
Hello, Devil.
“Go take a shower, Briar.”
“Wh—”
“Don’t question me.” He turned and left without another word, and after a minute, I picked myself up off the floor and went to my bathroom.