She recoiled like I’d slapped her. “What? Then that puts us exactly where we’ve been the last three weeks; that doesn’t change anything.”
“It needs to be that way.” I turned away as I tried to force myself to say something to make her run. Let her go man, just let her go. The ache that instantly speared my chest halted my thoughts, and I turned to face my world again. “Sundays are the only day I get you. Those are the only days when you’re here with me.” She started to speak, but I stopped her, “No, I know you’re not here for me . . . but you’re here. And he’s not; I need these days with you, Harper. But every other day, you’re his, and it’s not a good idea for us to be around each other then. So stay away. Please.”
“Chase . . .”
“If you think acting like you don’t exist isn’t the hardest thing I’ve ever done, you’re wrong. I hate not talking to you, I hate not bickering like we’re an old married couple, and I hate not spending every day right next to you. But this is how it has to be. Brandon hates me, and, Princess, trust me when I say he has every reason to. So if after everything I’ve done to you, you’ll still even consider being my friend, then it has to be Sundays only.”
“Brandon won’t care if we’re friends.”
Ah, Princess, you are sassy and sweet as hell, but you aren’t dumb. “I know you’re not that naïve.” Mom and Bree walked out the front door, and I sighed, knowing the majority of my only day with her would be spent without her. “Now go have lunch with Mom and Bree, then get your ass back here so I can have my few stolen hours with you.”
“Chase?” she asked after walking a few feet toward the entryway, her back still to me.
“Yeah, Princess?”
She took a deep breath and looked over her shoulder, capturing my eyes with hers. “Will you please stop hurting me . . . in every way?”
Fuck. I can spend the rest of my life making up for everything I’ve done to her, and I still won’t forgive myself for the shit I’ve put her through. I walked quickly up to her and pulled her into a tight hug, trying to memorize the way she felt in my arms. I inhaled her vanilla scent and wished I could promise her that I would never do anything to hurt her again, but we both knew that would be a promise I could never keep, “Go eat, sweetheart.” I squeezed her tight before releasing her and turning to walk up the stairs.
Chapter Seven
“HI, HONEY! I wasn’t expecting to see you tonight. Aren’t your friends having a party?”
“Uh, yeah? Why wouldn’t you be expecting me? It’s New Year’s Eve.”
Mom’s eyes went wide, and she gave Dad a quick glance, “Well, you haven’t been around much. We only saw you for about an hour on Christmas . . .” She trailed off and looked at me for an excuse.
I didn’t have one; well, I did, but I didn’t feel like sharing with them. Brandon had taken my princess to Arizona for the first half of winter break. He’d taken her home. I knew he loved her, and I knew they were serious. But I wasn’t ready for them to be this serious. I’d spent every free moment surfing or at the tattoo parlor these last two weeks, so I could try to do anything but think of Harper. And as soon as Mom started crying on Christmas because Harper’s presents were still under the tree, I was gone. I already had to deal with the fact that they were gone and falling more in love with each other, and I didn’t need my family reminding me of that. But she was coming home tonight, thank God, and my sister had made her promise to be here for New Year’s. I’d have her for two weeks without Brandon, and I couldn’t wait.
Looking back up, I noticed that Mom and Dad were still waiting. I shrugged. “I’ve been busy, but I’m not anymore.”
They hugged some more people who walked in, and I did the polite hellos, but I didn’t care about everyone showing up tonight, just one.
“Are Bree and Harper back here yet?”
“I don’t even know if they’re coming here; I thought they were going to your house.”
My house. I didn’t want to spend New Year’s Eve with Harper and a bunch of wasted coeds. “I’ll text Harper. I don’t want them going to that party tonight.”
You gonna be at the house tonight?
“Chase, honey.”
“Hmm?”
“You know, she and Brandon are getting really serious, do you think . . . maybe?”
I looked up to my mom and cocked my head, “Maybe what, Ma?”
“Maybe you should stop waiting for her? What you’re doing to your friendship with Brandon, over a girl who’s in love with someone else—it isn’t worth it, honey.”
My phone vibrated, and I looked down, Princess: Nope, going to hang with the family.
Perfect. I smiled to myself and looked back up to my parents. “When it comes to that girl, Mom, nothing else matters. So no, I don’t think I should stop. Love you.” I kissed her cheek and went upstairs to find Harper’s present.
I grabbed the wrapped box that held the ring I’d passed walking to my truck a few weeks ago, and hoped like hell she’d accept it. Other than hearing her tell Mom and Bree about how much she loved orange lilies, this trinity symbol was the only thing I knew Harper loved. I didn’t know what it meant to her, but no matter where we were, if she had something to write with, it ended up somewhere. Napkin, paper, her wrist . . . anywhere. So finding a ring that entwined into a trinity symbol on top was the perfect gift for her. Or so I hoped.
I paced my floor for what seemed like hours until I heard Harper, Bree, and my parents talking excitedly in the room next to mine. I sat down on my bed with a huff and closed my eyes as I listened to her voice. God, I’d missed that voice. I’d missed everything about her. Ever since Thanksgiving week, when I’d almost given in and kissed her, and she’d asked me not to, I hadn’t even touched her, and the distance was making me crazy. These last two weeks had been the longest I’d ever gone without seeing her, and I didn’t know if I’d be able to keep my distance when I finally saw her again.
As soon as I heard my family say they’d give her time to get settled in, and the door closed, I took one last deep breath and headed to Bree’s room. I knocked softly as I pushed open the door, and I swear my heart stopped when I saw Harper sitting on the floor.
“Hey, Princess.”
Her eyes went wide when she looked up at me. “Chase, I didn’t think you were going to be here.”
Shit, I should’ve told her I’d be here, too. “I asked if you were coming to the house.”
“Right, I just figured you meant your house.”
I watched her watching me and tried to figure out if she was happy to see me or not. The room got thick, and my eyes flashed down to her chest, which was rising and falling quickly; this couldn’t just be me. I wasn’t dumb, I knew she was in love with Brandon—anyone in the room with the two of them knew that. But the way she reacted to me definitely wasn’t the way she reacted to Brad, or Bree’s boyfriend, Konrad. She bit her bottom lip softly, and a light blush covered her cheeks. God, she was beautiful. I finally noticed all the presents lying around her and remembered why I’d come in here in the first place. Pushing away from the door, I walked over to her and sat down close enough that I could feel her body heat but not so close that I was touching her.
My hand shook as I handed her the ring, and my voice was rough and low, “Merry Christmas, Harper.”
I’d been holding my breath while she stared at the tiny, wrapped box, and huffed a small laugh when she finally asked, “Why?”
“Because you’re my favorite, remember? When I saw it, there was no way I couldn’t get it for you. Please open it.”
With the way my heart was pounding against my chest, I had no doubt she could hear every beat as I watched her face when she lifted the lid of the box. She gasped, and her eyes went wide as she studied it. When she looked up at me, I was relieved to see the awe there as she shook her head, and asked, “How did you know?”
“You doodle it on everything put in front of you.”
She nodded, and choked out, “Chase . . .” Her head dropped, but not before I saw the tears falling down her face. Damn it.
“Don’t cry, Harper. If you don’t like it, or you don’t like that it’s from me, I’ll take it back.”
“I love it; please don’t take it.”
Then why are you crying and breaking my heart? “Then what’s wrong?” I placed two fingers under her chin and tilted her head back so I could look into her eyes and brush away her tears. My breath caught at finally touching her again, and my heart started hammering when her eyes fluttered shut for a few seconds.
“I’ve never had this before. Not just the presents . . . the love that your family has for me. I’ve never had it until now, and it’s so overwhelming. I don’t know what I did to deserve it, and I don’t know if I show them that, too.”
“You do. Trust me.” I looked at her beautiful, tear-streaked face and wiped away more tears that escaped her stormy eyes. There were so many things I wanted to say to her right then. I love you. I want you to be mine. “You’re special, Harper, it’s not hard to love you.” I had to leave before I said more, which would send her running from me again. Without another word, I stood up and left the room.
I went back to my room and tried to talk myself into leaving now that I’d given her the ring, but then the shower turned on, and I groaned as I flopped onto my bed. I raked my hands over my face as I tried to do anything but picture Princess in the shower, but that wasn’t happening. I wanted to thank my sister for getting Harper to wear bikinis and thought of the handful of times I’d seen her at the beach or lying out by the pool at my place. Those suits didn’t leave much to the imagination, and those images mixed with the running water were making my already painfully hard erection, throb. It’d been months since I’d been with anyone, and even before then, Harper had starred in every one of my fantasies. This one wasn’t any different. I quickly undid the button and zipper on my jeans and nearly groaned again when I finally grabbed myself.