While I wait for Carson to reappear with Grace, my eyes drift back down to the ground and all the sneaky pictures he took of me. I hate them, I hate that they exist. I feel violated that he hired a creep to follow me… to stalk me. But I hate leaving them on the ground even more for someone to find. Bending down, I start gathering them up. I’m stuffing them in the folder when Carson reappears.
“Mommy!” Hope cries out and runs down the front steps, throwing herself at me.
I kiss the top of her head and ask her, “Are you all right?”
“Yes, mommy,” Hope tips her head back and smiles at me.
That’s all I needed to hear. Grabbing her by the hand, I turn my back on Carson, walking away.
He calls out, “Grace,” but I don’t stop.
I just gotta keep walking. I gotta keep moving.
Opening the car door, I get Hope settled as quickly as possible.
Carson walks up on us but stops a couple of feet away from the car. Our eyes meet as I pull open my door. There are no words… there just aren’t any words…
Shaking my head, I climb in my car and start her up.
Carson calls out over the noise of the engine. “I’ll give you a couple of weeks to think about it before I start the proceedings.”
I get four blocks away from his house before I have to pull over and park.
The adrenaline has worn off and I can’t seem to stop shaking.
Chapter Eighteen
Max
Grace loves me.
Hmph, well, no shit. She has been in love with me since I first kissed her. She just needed time to figure it out. That I love her wasn’t really in doubt either. She’s mine, how could I not love her?
Now that we have the love part out of the way, we need to be talking about this whole moving in thing. She and Hope need to spread their wings and fly their little asses right on over to their new home.
I have been thinking about changing up the place so it’s a little more Hope friendly, kid needs toys and pink stuff for her room. I also have a good spot for a small playset in the backyard. She should love it. Hell, I might even splurge for a new pool. Hope needs to be happy, that’s a huge priority. If Hope is happy, Grace and I should be a lot happier.
Fuck it all though. I have to get through today first.
Today, and the next, and the one after that.
That’s what Krissy said, it’s not today she worries about, it’s the next and the one after.
How much longer was the pain going to be there? How much longer did she have to suffer? I hated those questions because I simply didn’t have the heart to lie. She was honest with me, shouldn’t I be the same with her?
Fuck it all.
Standing in the hotel room, I look at myself in the mirror. I have on a black suit, white shirt and black tie. I don’t look like myself right now. My beard is smoothed down a bit and I actually styled my hair.
I feel like a sham. Like a fake. Krissy hated fakes.
Untying the tie, I pull it off and unbutton the top button of the suit jacket. That is so much better. You can see the tattoos on my neck and hands but that’s about it. I look like a fucking heavy metal singer right about now, except I have muscles.
Grace laughed when she went with me to get the suit. She said something about me looking like grumpy bear. She’s right. I grab my phone and snap a picture of myself in the mirror. Sending it off to Grace, I growl. Time to go.
Turning away from the bed I grab my bag from the bed. Inside it are the clothes I flew out here in last night. I have a flight after the funeral and I don’t think I will bother changing. I just want to get back to my girls. I need to feel the warmth of the desert in my bones again.
I head out of the hotel room to the front desk. The young lady behind the counter stares at me for a long moment after I say I need to check out. I have no clue what’s wrong, I mean she saw me yesterday. I was in jeans and a t-shirt but still, not too different.