He sends me that text every day. It’s exhilarating to know I’m the first thing he thinks of every morning. He’s the first thing I think of. I text him back.
Me: Good morning.
A couple of seconds later my phone dings and vibrates.
AJ: I’m looking forward to tonight.
Me: Me too.
That’s an understatement.
AJ: Have a good day.
Me: Ditto.
I send him a kissy face.
Time is wasting. Last night, I passed out after plucking and shaving. Today, I’ll need every minute I have to shower and to do my hair and makeup. I jump out of bed and run to the bathroom to get started.
I make my coffee to go and drink it on the bus ride to work. I feel my cheeks starting to tire. I can’t stop smiling.
I’m floating on cloud nine at work as I go about my filing. I have to keep myself from humming and disturbing the office.
Andrew isn’t even at work today. He’s been missing all morning. I don’t have to worry about him messing with me before I leave. My day keeps getting better and better.
After lunch, the nerves start to set in. As the hour grows later and later, and meeting AJ comes closer and closer, I’m plagued with anxiety. The stakes feel even higher this time around.
I’m meeting him at his place. He told me twice that he loves me. What if he doesn’t like my face? What if we have absolutely no chemistry?
He knows almost everything about me. My hopes, my dreams, and all my fears. You can’t force attraction. He could still find me repulsive.
The second half of my day drags on a lot longer than the first half. The bounce is gone from my step. I’m no longer floating around as if I’m some beautiful, cheerful princess humming to the birds in an enchanted forest. Now I’m just trying to hold it together, trying not to give myself a heart attack. If only chill pills really did exist, I’d take one.
I leave work without a hitch. Looks like this time I’m going to be on time. AJ’s place is on the other side of town. I hail a cab. If I took the bus, I’d have to switch more than two times just to get there.
Peering out the cab window, I watch the city change the closer we get to AJ’s part of town. It’s as if we cross some magic invisible line, on one side it’s clean and well kept. The other side is left to deteriorate and languish.
The dirty and cracked gum covered sidewalks transform into tidy, tree-lined streets. Corner convenience stores become high-end boutiques with large glass windows showing off the trendiest styles. Hot dog stands are replaced by fancy bistros with patio seating and snotty waiters. The cars parked on the street start to cost more than I make in a year.
Even the peopl
e walking are different. Sneakers and jeans give way to heels and designer dresses. Everyone has a phone and everyone is talking on it or looking at it.
I don’t belong here. What was I thinking?
The cab comes to a stop. It would be so easy to tell the driver I’ve changed my mind and to give him the address to my apartment. It would be so easy to tuck my tail and run, to stand up AJ and give him a taste of his own medicine.
I hand the driver enough cash to cover the fare and a small tip. I step out of the cab, it takes off as soon as I close the door behind me. Now there’s no going back.
I turn to look at AJ’s building. I have to tip my head all the way back to glimpse the top. Pulling out my phone, I double check the address. Yep, this is it. He lives in the penthouse. It’s going to be a long elevator ride up.
With my heart in my throat, I approach the building. A doorman greets me, holding the door open for me. I feel underdressed as I enter the building. I’m in my jacket and black dress. I’m just a lowly file clerk. The guy who just held the door for me probably makes in a day what I earn in a week.
There’s a security desk, but I must be expected. I wonder if the guard’s note says to look out for the poor girl, the one who doesn’t belong. Send her right up. The guard waves me on towards the elevator.
I walk up to the elevator and push the button for up. It’s starting to feel surreal. The doors open right away. It’s as if destiny is doing everything in its power to propel me forward. I step in. The button for the penthouse sits above the rest. I push it.
I knew AJ was well off but this…