I felt so bad for him at that moment and without thinking about it, I went to him and threw my arms around his neck. Cain hesitantly hugged me back, probably from feeling Leo’s jealously burning a hole in my back. I could only imagine the look he was giving Cain.
“Is Leo staring at us?” I whispered for only him to hear.
“Like you’re his favorite chew toy and I’m the neighborhood stray.”
“Good. Let him sweat. Even if Leo wants to tear you to shreds right now. You’re a good friend. To both of us.”
“That’s really sweet, Mi, considering I’m about to die.”
I laughed.
He pulled away and smiled, before letting me go. I watched as he walked over to Leo until he was standing in front of him.
“I’m sorry, man. I was just trying to return the favor because you’ve always been such a good friend, brother, to me.”
“You fucking kissed her, dickhead.”
“Like maybe a handful of times. Very brief. And I’ve never seen her naked or touched her, so that has to count for something?”
Leo bit back a smile and Cain extended out his hand. “We cool?”
“I’m not sure yet.”
“Well.” He nodded. “You know where to find me. I’ll leave you two love birds alone.” Cain winked at me and after he shut my door behind him, Leo made his way over to me.
Once we were a foot apart, he proclaimed, “I love you too, Mila. I’ve always loved you and I always will. I’m in love with you.”
My heart melted. “Then why didn’t you ask me to stay?”
He swept my wet hair away from my face and lovingly gazed into my eyes. “I thought if I did that you’d just end up resenting me for choosing your future for you. I knew if I asked you to stay for me then you would have, and I didn’t want that kind of resentment building in you. I couldn’t ask you to stay, Lala, but that doesn’t mean I wanted you to go. I needed you in my life, and if that meant we just stayed best friends then so be it. If I would have known for one second that you were going to push me away then I would have begged you to stay with me. Please tell me you at least know that.”
“I thought you didn’t care about me. We ended things so badly and we’ve never fought like that before. I didn’t know how to act around you anymore. It’s why I said those things to you over messenger. I was just mad, upset, and hurt. The only way I knew how to deal with it was to push you away. I know that’s not very mature, but it’s what felt right at the moment.”
“And now?”
“I don’t know what to feel right now, other than shock that you’re actually standing in front of me. We haven’t spoken in so long and now you’re here.”
“I’m here for only you. Come home with me, Mila. I love you.”
“I… I just… I don’t know, Leo. I’ve thought about you the entire time I’ve been gone. And when you stopped trying to talk to me, it made everything worse in my mind. I understand why you did it now. It makes sense why Cain brought you up all the time.”
His jaw tightened.
“Nothing happened between Cain and me. I barely kissed him. I couldn’t. Anytime he’d kiss me, all I could think about was you and how wrong it felt. One of the biggest reasons I enjoyed his company so much is he makes me feel closer to you. And since we weren’t talking, he was a great distraction for me.”
“What I just walked in on didn’t seem like you were missing me that much, Mila.”
“The only reason you walked in on that, was me trying to forget about you. I read your conversation with Cain this morning on his laptop which he obviously left open for me to see and I was so angry, I wasn’t thinking. I acted irrationally and impulsively. The only reason I did that was because I was trying to forget about you.”
God, how could I have been so blind?
He gave me so many hints this entire time, but I didn’t catch on to any of them.
“Everything you said to Cain was another knife in my heart. I thought I could go through with it. I thought I could have sex with him.” I shook my head, pausing for a second. “I couldn’t. I did stop him, and I was about to tell him I just wanted to be friends.”
“All you guys did was kiss?”
“Yeah, and like he said, those were brief. I actually kneed him in the balls one time just to stop kissing him.”
“Good girl.”
I half-smiled.
“These last few months haven’t been a walk in the park for me either, Mila. You pushed me away. You blew me off. You told me, that you regretted us making love. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about that?”