"Sure."
"I want to have you."
"Is that why you're here?" I ask. "To fuck me again?"
"No," he replies firmly. "I want more than fucking." He gets on top of me, his fingers gently gliding over my throat as he positions each knee on one side of my hips. Slowly, Adrian lowers his lips against mine. My fingers trace the elaborate inky patterns on his skin. I still don't know what all of his tattoos mean, but someday I'll find out.
Maybe...
Thinking about that is just a painful reminder of my reality. The fact that I'm running away from the one man I ever loved, because if I don't, he's going to have me killed.
Adrian kisses me deeply, his hands grabbing at the silk of my pajamas. He tears them off, revealing my bare skin underneath.
I try to hide myself, but it's no use. He can see right through me, and he's ripping my clothes off as if trying to get to the very center as fast as he can.
Once all my clothes are off, Adrian cages my wrists with his hands, taking a long, admiring look at my body. "So fucking beautiful," he mutters. "I can't get enough of you."
"Then don't marry someone else," I find myself saying.
"Watch that mouth."
I look away, and this time, it's impossible to hold back the tears. One slips down my cheek.
Adrian reaches up, wiping it away with his thumb. "Why are you crying?"
"I don't know what's going to happen," I whisper.
"It's going to be fine."
"How do you know that? Everything is against us. Do you still want to be with me?"
Instead of answering me, Adrian kisses me, deeper still. His hands wander between my legs, pressing every one of my buttons so I'm a whimpering mess in under a minute.
"Why do you even ask?" he mutters in my ear. "It's always been you and you fucking know it, bambina. But don't worry about all that tonight. Just be mine. I promise you everything's going to be okay."
I don't believe him, but I go along with it anyway. I don't know when my escape is going to happen ? it could be tomorrow ? or not for months. Either way, I need to treat every second I spend with Adrian as if it's the last time we're together.
One of these days, it will be.
As he rocks his hips, gently pushing his cock inside me, I mewl, feeling him stretching me out.
He doesn't fuck me though, not tonight. It's more, just like he promised. Adrian Bernardi makes love to me while I hold back tears.
If he notices how upset I am, Adrian doesn't mention it. But he handles me with care, every movement careful as if I'm something valuable, breakable. He's never touched me like this before. Like I'm his everything. It makes it even more painful to know we're going to be forced apart soon.
He comes inside me and stays in my bed afterward. I know he won't be there when I wake up, so I lie awake for hours, willing sleep to leave me be, so I can keep thinking about my options.
I have no illusions about it ? once I'm back with Luigi and Vitto ? I won't see Adrian again. My brother and fiancé will do everything in their power to kill every one of the Bernardis. Especially Bruno and especially… Adrian.
Am I going to be able to live with myself if that happens? Will Adrian and Bruno's deaths make up for all the other losses I've suffered? Or am I fooling myself into thinking I'll be happier away from him? I need Adrian. Every thought revolves around him, every nerve ending on fire when he gives me his attention. I'm so eager to belong to him.
But that doesn't change the facts.
He doesn't want me.
Another tear slides down my cheek as I snuggle closer to his side.
He pulls me against his strong, tattooed body. He's so muscular, so perfect, so smart, so handsome...
And I'm going to lose him. I'll be forced to walk away from him.
If I don't... he won't just stop at killing me. I know Bruno will want the heads of my brother and Vitto, too. Do I really want to be responsible for more deaths?
Chewing my bottom lip, I burrow into Adrian's side. I can't keep torturing myself. I have to get some rest and try to forget about all this. At least, until I hear back from Luigi with a plan.
Inexplicably, I somehow I find myself hoping something would go wrong. That I wouldn't be able to escape. That I'll be forced to stay here, with Adrian, forever.
He's the light in the future I can't have. Everything else is dark and hopeless.
I know I don't have a choice though, because my nonna taught me to be a fighter.
Faced with the decision to live or die—I will always pick life.