Malachi’s arms tighten around me. “I won’t let it happen.”
“What are you going to do? You’re trapped by a blood ward, and the only way to get out is to kill me.” There goes that laugh again. Gods, I sound deranged but I can’t help it. “Checkmate.”
“No.” He strokes my head with a surprisingly gentle touch. “There’s another way. I just haven’t found it yet.”
I want to believe him, but my life has taught me otherwise. There is no hero waiting in the wings to sweep in and save me. There is no convenient plot twist which will let the good guys win. The only thing that matters is power, and I have none. Even Malachi, a bloodline vampire, doesn’t have enough to get out of this mess.
That’s not the only thing weighing me down right now, though. I might be smarter if it was, if the only thing I cared about was getting out and being free. But there’s a hurt deep inside, a betrayal I hate myself for feeling. “You gave me to him.”
He tenses and then sighs. “It’s complicated.”
“It doesn’t seem complicated from where I’m sitting. I thought…” But no. I can’t put that foolishness into words. No matter how blurred the lines have begun to feel, the truth is Malachi is a predator and I am prey. He might insist on boundaries and bargains, but they’re illusions. Just like with my father, he holds all the power and I hold none.
I try to straighten, but he keeps me pressed against him. I glare at his chest. “How far do guest privileges go? If Wolf gets an itch, should I expect him to show up in my room and fuck me? Since I’m a resource to be shared and all.”
Malachi says something in a language I don’t recognize, but the tone sounds like a curse. “No.”
“If you say so.” I try to stop talking, but I can’t seem to put the brakes on my mouth. The hurt and frustration and rage well up and morph into poison dripping from my lips. “Maybe I’ll let him. Since you’re not interested in sex, I might as well do it with someone else. Wolf’s scary, but he’s hot, and I’d hate to die a virgin.”
The only warning I get is Malachi tensing beneath me. One second I’m cradled in his arms, and the next I’m straddling him and he’s gripping my hips nearly hard enough to hurt. His eyes are edging toward black and I know enough now to recognize the flames they contain aren’t the same ones reflected by the fire. It doesn’t matter I’m technically on top. I have no more control in this position than if he pinned me down onto the couch the way Wolf did earlier.
He glares up at me. “What the fuck part of me giving you space to find your feet translates into that thick head of yours I don’t want to have sex with you?”
“My thick head? You’re the one who laid down that ridiculous bargain!” I’m yelling and I don’t give a fuck. “And, yeah, I thought maybe you weren’t a total monster but then Wolf shows up here like some kind of horny punk phantom and you’re just like ‘help yourself, my dhampir captive tastes really good.’ It’s bullshit. What am I supposed to think, Malachi? You don’t fucking talk to me. We spar and we bite each other and that’s all it’s been for a week.”
“A week,” he grinds out through clenched teeth. “Seven fucking days. You spent your entire life under the thumb of Cornelius and then he shipped you off here where you’re just as trapped. Forgive the fuck out of me if I wanted you to choose me instead of just going along with it because you had no other option.”
I laugh in his face. “Choose you? What the hell are you even talking about? Choosing you means I get my heart broken in the bargain. The best case scenario is that you never manage to knock me up and I die of old age in a hundred years or so while you keep living forever in this house my father has trapped you in. I get wrinkled and gray and you stay exactly as you are now? Tell me how that’s not just another kind of hell.”
Something around his mouth softens. “You’ve thought about it.”
“No, I haven’t.” It’s not even a lie, not really. “But it’s just how things are. I’m not that lucky. It’s more likely to be a worst case scenario and you know it. Either I get pregnant and my father comes to collect me, keeps me locked up long enough to have the baby, and then kills me, or I don’t get pregnant and he decides he’s tired of waiting and comes here and kills me. Do you understand what I’m saying, Malachi? No matter which way you look at this situation, I end up dead.”