“You’re right. I never thought of making a Journey until he decided to go. Visiting the Lanzadonii was far enough for me.”
“Why did you decide to go with him?” Zelandoni asked.
“I don’t know if I can explain it,” Jondalar said. “He was always fun to be around, so I knew it would be easy traveling with him, and he did make the trip sound exciting, but I didn’t think we’d go as far as we did. I think part of it was that sometimes he could be a little reckless and I felt a need to look out for him. He was my brother and I think I loved him more than anyone I knew. I knew I’d come home someday, if it was possible, and I felt that if I was with him, he’d come back home with me, eventually. I don’t know … something was pulling me,” Jondalar said. He glanced at Ayla, who had been listening even more intently than Zelandoni.
He didn’t know it, but my totem and maybe the Mother pulled him, Ayla thought. He had to come and find me.
“What about Marona? Obviously you didn’t feel enough for her to make you want to stay. Did she have anything to do with your decision to go?” the First asked. This was the first time since his return that the Donier had an opportunity to really talk to him about why he took his long Journey, and she was going to take advantage of it. “What would you have done if Thonolan had not decided to make a Journey?”
“I guess I would have gone to the Summer Meeting and probably mated Marona,” Jondalar said. “Everyone expected it, and there wasn’t anyone I cared for more, at that time.” He looked up and smiled at Ayla. “But to be honest, I wasn’t thinking about her when I decided to go, I was worried about mother. I think she guessed Thonolan might not return, and I was afraid she might worry that I wouldn’t either. I did plan to come back, but you never know. Anything can happen on a Journey, and many things did, but I knew Willamar wouldn’t be going away, and she had Folara and Joharran.”
“What makes you think Marthona did not expect Thonolan to return?” the First asked.
“It was something that she said to us when we left to go visit Dalanar. Thonolan was the one who noticed it. Mother said ‘Good Journey’ to him, not ‘Until you return,’ as she did to me. And remember when we first told mother and Willamar about Thonolan? Willamar said that mother never expected him to return, and as I feared, she was afraid I wouldn’t come back either when she found out I had gone with him. She said she was afraid she had lost two sons,” Jondalar said.
That was why he couldn’t stay with the Sharamudoi when Tholie and Markeno asked us to, Ayla thought. They were so welcoming and I had grown so fond of them during our visit, I wanted to stay, but Jondalar couldn’t. Now I know why, and I’m glad we came all the way back. Marthona treats me like a daughter and a friend, and so does Zelandoni. I really like Folara, and Proleva and Joharran, and many others. Not everyone, but most people have been nice.
“Marthona was right,” Zelandoni said. “Thonolan was favored with many Gifts, and he was greatly loved. Many people used to say he was a favorite of the Mother. I never like it when people say that, but in his case it was prophetic. The other side of being one of Her favorites is that She can’t stand to be separated from them for too long and tends to take Her favorites back early, when they are still young. You were gone so long, I wondered if you were a little too favored, also.”
“I didn’t think I’d be gone five years,” Jondalar said.
“Most people doubted that you or Thonolan would ever return after you were gone two years. Occasionally someone would mention that you and Thonolan had gone on a Journey, but they were already starting to forget you. I wonder if you know how stunned people were when you returned. It wasn’t only that you appeared with a foreign woman, and those horses and a wolf,” Zelandoni said, and smiled wryly. “It was that you came back at all.”
14
“Do you think we should even try to take the horses inside that cave?” Ayla said the next morning.
“Most of the cave has high ceilings, but it is a cave. That means once we get away from the entrance, it’s dark, except for the light we bring with us, and the floor is uneven. You have to be careful because it falls down to a lower level in several places. It should be empty now, but bears use it in winter. You can see their wallows and their scratch marks,” Zelandoni said.
“Cave bears?” Ayla asked.
“From the size of the scratches, it’s very likely that some cave bears have been inside. There are smaller marks, but I don’t know if they are from smaller brown bears, or young cave bears,” the Donier explained. “It’s a very long walk to the primary area, and just as long back. It will take us, or at least it will take me, all day. I haven’t done it for some years and, to be honest, I suspect this will be my last time.”
“Why don’t I take Whinney inside and see how she behaves,” Ayla said. “I should take Gray, too. I think I will use halters for both of them.”
“And I’ll take Racer,” Jondalar said. “We can walk them in by themselves, and see how they take to it, before we connect the pole-drags.”
Zelandoni watched as they put halters on the horses and walked the animals toward the mouth of the large cave. Wolf followed them. The Donier didn’t plan to take them through the entire cavern. She herself didn’t know exactly how extensive this sacred site was, though she had a good idea.
It was a massive cavern more than ten miles long made up of a maze of galleries, some connected and some going off in every direction, with three underground levels, and about seven miles to the part she wanted to show them. It would be a long walk, but she had mixed feelings about using the pole-drag. Even if she was slower, she felt she could still make the trek and while it might be easier, she didn’t really want to be going into the sacred cavern looking backward.
When Jondalar and Ayla came out, they were shaking their heads and comforting the horses. “I’m sorry,” Ayla said. “I think it could be the scent of bears, but both Whinney and Racer were very nervous in that cave. They shied away from the bear wallows, and the darker it got, the more uneasy and agitated they became. I’m sure Wolf will come with us, but the horses don’t like it in there.”
“I’m sure I can walk it, but it will take more time,” Zelandoni said with a feeling of relief. “We will need to bring food and water with us, and warm clothes. It will get cold in there. And plenty of lamps and torches. Also those thick mats you made out of the cattail leaves, in case we want to sit. There will be some rocks or cave growths on the ground, but they will likely be damp and muddy.”
Jondalar packed most of their supplies in his sturdy backframe, but Zelandoni also had one, like Jondalar’s though not as big, made of stiff rawhide attached to a frame. The slender round poles of the frame came from the new stems of fast-growing trees, like the variety of willow known as poplar that shot up straight in one season. Jondalar and Zelandoni also had implements and pouches dangling from their waist thongs. Ayla had her haversack, and the rest of her equipment, and of course, Jonayla.
They made one last check of
their campsite before they left, with Ayla and Jondalar also trying to make sure the horses would be fine for the day while they were deep in the cavern. They lit one torch to start with from the fire before they banked it down. Then Ayla signaled to Wolf to stay with them, and they started into Mammoth Cavern.
Though the entrance was rather large, it was nothing to the actual size of the cave, but it gave natural light for the first part of the trek and their single torch was sufficient. As they continued into the enormous space, the only thing to be seen was the inside of a huge cave that had obviously been used by bears. Ayla wasn’t sure, but she thought that no matter how big a cave was, only one bear at a time would use it in any one season. Many large oval depressions cratered the ground, which implied that bears had used the cave for a very long time, and the bear claw scratches on the walls left no doubt about what had made the bear hollows. Wolf stayed close, walking beside her, occasionally brushing against her leg, which was reassuring.
After they had proceeded deeply enough into the cave that no outside light could be detected and the only way they could find their way was with the light sources they brought with them, Ayla began to feel the cold inside the cave. She had brought a warm tunic with long sleeves and a separate head covering for herself, and an elongated parka with a hood for her infant. She stopped and untied Jonayla’s carrying blanket, but as soon as she was away from her mother’s warmth, she too noticed the cold and began to fuss. Ayla quickly dressed both of them, and when the baby was close to her mother again and felt her warmth, she settled down. The others also put on warmer clothing.
When they started out again, the First began to sing. Both Ayla and Jondalar looked at her, rather surprised. She started with a soft hum, but after a while, though she didn’t use words, her singing grew louder, with greater changes in scale and in pitch, more like tonal exercises. Her voice was so full and rich it seemed to fill the huge cave, and her companions thought it was beautiful.
They had gone about a half mile into the cavern, and were walking three abreast in the large space, with Zelandoni in the middle between Ayla and Jondalar, when the sound of the woman’s voice seemed to change, to gain an echoing resonance. Suddenly Wolf surprised them all and joined in with the eerie howl of wolfsong. It sent a shiver down Jondalar’s back, and Ayla felt Jonayla squirming and seeming to crawl up her back. Then suddenly without saying a word but still singing, the Donier reached out with both hands and stopped her companions. They looked at her and seeing that she was gazing at the left wall, they also turned to see what was there. That was when they saw the first sign that the cavern was more than a huge, rather frightening, empty grotto that seemed to go on forever.