“I understand how he feels. It doesn’t matter to me whether we have another girl or a boy, but I wonder what it would be like to name a son,” Jondalar said. “But Danug, what if the Mamutoi do not accept the idea that men should name the boys?”
“I just have to make sure that the woman I decide to mate agrees,” Danug said.
“That’s true,” Ayla said. “But why do you have to go back to find a mate, Danug? Why don’t you stay here, like Aldanor? I’m sure you could find a Zelandonii woman who would be pleased to be your mate.”
“And Zelandonii women are certainly beautiful, but in many ways, I’m like Jondalar. Traveling can be exciting, but I need to return to my own people to settle down. Besides, there’
s only one woman I would stay here to mate, Ayla,” Danug said, with a wink at Jondalar, “and she’s already claimed.”
Jondalar chuckled, but there was a look in Danug’s eye, a tone in his voice that made Ayla wonder if his jocular statement was said entirely in jest.
“I’m just glad she was willing to come home with me,” Jondalar said. The way Jondalar looked at her with his vivid blue eyes made her tingle all the way to her innermost place. “Danug is right. Doni must really love us to have made making children such a Pleasure.”
“It isn’t all Pleasure for a woman, Jondalar. Giving birth can be very painful,” Ayla said.
“But I thought you said giving birth to Jonayla was easy, Ayla,” Jondalar said, his forehead creased with his familiar frown.
“Even an easy childbirth has some pain, Jondalar. It just wasn’t as bad as I expected,” Ayla said.
“I don’t want to cause you pain,” he said, turning to look at her. “Are you sure we should have another?” Jondalar suddenly remembered that Thonolan’s mate had died giving birth.
“Don’t be silly, Jondalar. Of course we’re going to have another baby. I want one, too, you know. It’s not just you. And it’s not that bad. If you don’t want to start one, though, maybe I can find another man who will,” she said with a teasing smile.
“Oh no you can’t,” Jondalar said, giving her shoulder a hug. “Danug just told you that you may not couple with anyone except me, remember?”
“I never wanted to couple with anyone but you, Jondalar. You are the one who taught me the Mother’s Gift of Pleasure. No one could possibly give me more, maybe because I love you so much,” Ayla said.
Jondalar turned his face away to hide the tears that had come to his eyes, but Danug had looked in another direction and affected not to notice. When Jondalar turned back, he looked at Ayla with great seriousness. “I never told you how sorry I am about Marona. I didn’t really want her that much. She just made it so easy. I didn’t want to tell you because I was afraid it would hurt you. When you found us together, I kept thinking how much you must hate me. I want you to know, I love only you.”
“I know you love me, Jondalar,” Ayla said. “Everyone at this whole Summer Meeting knows you love me. I wouldn’t be here if you didn’t love me. In spite of what Danug said, if you ever need to, even if you just want to, you can couple with anyone you want, Jondalar. I don’t even hate Marona anymore. I don’t blame her for wanting you. Who wouldn’t want you? Sharing the Gift of Pleasure isn’t what makes love. It makes babies, but not love. Love can make Pleasures better, but if you love someone, what difference does coupling with someone else once in a while make? Coupling takes a few moments. How can that be more important than a lifetime of love? Even in the Clan, coupling was done just to relieve a man’s needs. You wouldn’t expect me to break our bond just because you coupled with someone else, would you?”
Danug laughed. “If that were a reason, everyone would have to break his bond. People look forward to Festivals to Honor the Mother, to share Pleasures with someone else once in a while. I’ve heard stories that Talut can still couple with as many as six women in a row at Festivals. Mother always said it just gave her a chance to see if any other man could match him. None ever could.”
“Talut is a better man than I am,” Jondalar said. “There was a time, maybe, but I don’t have the stamina anymore. And to be honest, I don’t have the desire.”
“It may just be stories,” Danug said. “I can’t say that I’ve ever seen him with any woman except mother. He spends a lot of time with other leaders, and she spends most of her time at Meetings visiting with relatives and friends. I think most people just like to tell stories.”
There was a pause in the conversation and each of the young people looked at each other. Then Danug spoke up. “I wouldn’t break the mating bond over it, but to be honest, I really would like it better if the woman I mate would share Pleasures with no one except me.”
“What about during Festivals to Honor the Great Earth Mother?” Jondalar asked.
“I know we should all Honor the Mother at festivals and such, but how would I know the children my mate brought to my hearth were mine if she shares Pleasures with someone else?” Danug said.
Ayla looked at them both, and remembered the words of the First. “If a man loves the children a woman brings to his hearth now, why should knowing who started them make any difference?”
“Maybe it shouldn’t, but I would still want them to be mine,” Danug said.
“If you start a child, does that make him yours? Would you own him, like a personal possession?” Ayla asked. “Would you not love a child you didn’t own, Danug?”
“I don’t mean mine in the sense of owning, but mine in the sense that the child would have come from me,” Danug tried to explain. “I probably would grow to care for any child of my hearth, one that didn’t come from me or even one that did not come from my mate. I loved Rydag as a brother, more than a brother, and he was not Talut’s or Nezzie’s, but I would like to know if a child of my hearth was started by me. A woman doesn’t have to worry. She always knows.”
“I understand how Danug feels, Ayla. It makes me happy to know Jonayla came from me. And everyone knows she did because everyone knows you never chose anyone but me. We always Honored the Mother at Festivals, but we always chose each other.”
“I wonder if you’d be so eager to have children of your own if you had to go through the pain along with your mate,” Ayla said. “Some women would be happy if they never had to have children. Not many, but some.”
The men glanced at each other, but neither one looked at Ayla, feeling slightly embarrassed at voicing personal thoughts that seemed to contradict the customs and beliefs of their people.
“By the way, have you heard that Marona is going to mate again?” Danug said, changing the subject.