“Yes, that is right,” Zelandoni who was First said. “Jaradal is your son, said Sethona is your daughter, Joharran, as much as they are Proleva’s son and daughter.”
“And it is the Gift of Pleasure from the Great Earth Mother that makes life begin inside a woman?” asked Brameval, the leader of the Fourteenth Cave.
“Doni’s Gift to us is not only for Pleasure. It is also the Gift of Life.”
“But Pleasures are shared often. Women don’t get pregnant that often,” said another voice, unable to wait.
“The Great Earth Mother still makes the final choice. Doni has not given up all Her knowledge, nor all Her prerogatives. She still decides when a woman will be Blessed with new life,” the First said.
“Then what’s the difference between using a man’s spirit or the essense of his organ to start a baby?” Brameval asked.
“It’s very clear. If a woman never shares Pleasure with a man, she will never have a child. She cannot just hope that someday the Mother will choose the spirit of some man and give her one. A woman must Honor the Mother by sharing Her Gift of Pleasures. The man must release his essense inside her, so that it can mix with the essense of a woman that is waiting for it,” the Great Woman said.
“Some women never get pregnant,” said Tormaden, the leader of the Nineteenth Cave.
“Yes, that’s true. I have never had a child. Though I have Honored the Mother often, I have never become pregnant. I don’t know why,” the First said. “Perhaps because the Mother chose me for a different purpose. I know it would have been very difficult for me to Serve The Mother as I have, if I had a mate and children. That is not to say that zelandonia should not have children. Some zelandonia do and still Serve Her well, though it may be easier for a Zelandoni who is a man to be mated and have children at his hearth, than for a woman. A man does not have to bear a child, or give birth, or nurse. Some women are able to do both, especially if their calling is strong, but they must have mates and families who are very caring and willing to help.”
Zelandoni noticed several people looking toward Jondalar, sitting with the Mamutoi visitors, somewhat uphill from the Ninth Cave, and not with the woman to whom he was mated. Ayla, who was holding Jonayla on her lap, sat beside Marthona, with the wolf between them near the front of the audience. She was close to the Ninth Cave, but also close to the ranks of the zelandonia. Most people believed that with her control of animals and her healing skills, even before she became an acolyte, Ayla’s calling had to be strong, and until this summer when all their troubles began, everyone was aware of how caring Jondalar had been. Many people believed it was Marona who was at the root of their troubles—she was sitting with her cousin, Wylopa, and some friends from the Fifth Cave—but now it had escalated far beyond that. Although word had gone out that Laramar had regained consciousness, he was still recovering inside the zelandonia lodge and only they knew how badly he was hurt.
“My mate shares the Gift of Pleasures with other men, not just me, at Mother Festivals and ceremonies,” a man in the audience said.
Now the questions are getting ticklish, Zelandoni thought. “Festivals and Ceremonies are held for sacred purposes. Sharing Pleasures is a sacred act. It honors the Great Earth Mother. If a child is conceived then, it is with her intention. It should be considered a favored child. Remember, Doni still chooses when a woman will become pregnant.” There was a scattering of barely audible comments from the audience.
Kareja, the leader of the Eleventh Cave, stood up. “Willadan has asked me to ask a question for him, but I think he should ask it himself.”
“If you think so, then ce
rtainly he should,” Zelandoni said.
“My mate was a donii-woman one summer after we were mated,” the man began. “She wasn’t having any luck getting a baby started and wanted to make the offering to honor the Mother and encourage Her to start one. It seemed to work. She did have a child after that, and three more since then. But now I wonder, did any of those children come from me?”
This must be handled with great delicacy, Zelandoni thought. “All children born to your mate are your children,” she said.
“But how do I know if they were started by me or some other man?”
“Tell me, Willadan, how old is your first child?”
“He can count twelve years. Almost a man.” There was pride in his voice.
“Were you happy when your mate became pregnant with him, and when he was born?”
“Yes, we wanted children at our hearth.”
“So you love him.”
“Of course I love him.”
“Would you love him more if you knew for sure that he was started by your essence?”
Willadan glanced at the boy. “No, of course not,” he said, frowning.
“If you knew the rest of your children were started with your own essence, would you love them more?”
He paused, thinking about the point he knew she was making. “No. I could not love them more.”
“Then does it make any difference if the essence that started them came from you or someone else?” Zelandoni noticed that his frown deepened. She decided to continue. “I have never been pregnant; I have never conceived a child, though there was a time when I wanted one, more than you will know. I am content now. I know the Mother chose what was best for me. But, it is possible, Willadan, that you were born as I was. Perhaps, for some reason known only to Doni, your essence could not start a child with your mate at that time. But the Great Earth Mother, in Her wisdom, gave you and your mate the children you wanted. If you were not the one who started them, would you be willing to give them back if you found the name of the man who may have started them?”
“No. I have provided for them all their lives,” Willadan said.