“I do hope that is not another naughty book snatched from your brother’s collection, Maryann,” Kitty greeted, closing the door behind her to afford them privacy. She was pleased to see tea, sandwiches, and cakes had already been sent up.
“Charlotte may not make it; her mother has forced her to take a carriage ride with the odious Viscount Mauler,” Fanny said crossly, closing the book. “He attempted to take liberties with her on their last outing, and she smacked him with her parasol. I am surprised he is still pursuing her.”
“He wants his heir,” Ophelia said with a snort of disgust. “The man has been married twice and has seven daughters! I cannot believe Charlotte’s mamma is even entertaining the man’s pursuit.”
“And the viscount is older than her father,” Maryann said with a scowl.
“She must be devastated,” Kitty said, moving to sit between the girls on the sofa. “I believe she truly admires Lord Sands, and to be forced to marry where her heart does not lie is so cruel! We must help her escape his clutches.”
Her passionate outburst had her friends examining her rather closely.
“I can sense we are about to hatch a plan to save dear Charlotte,” Maryann said, fixing her glasses firmly on her nose. “But first we need to fix you.”
“Me?” She glanced around the room. “And where is Emma?”
“Yes, you,” Maryann retorted. “Emma is in Cornwall visiting her aunt who is ill.”
“We have seen your despondency,” Fanny said archly, artfully passing around tea for everyone. “We would be poor friends if we had not observed the strain in your smile at last night’s ball. Now, tell us what happened in Scotland. Ophelia of course told us where you went.”
Kitty scowled at her fr
iend, and Ophelia merely gave an inelegant shrug.
“Did you mean to keep it from us?” Maryann asked gently, a vein of hurt in her tone.
A lump formed in Kitty’s throat. “Of course not. You are all my dear friends, and I trust you to keep my confidences. I have simply been so wretched!” She took a deep breath and spilled the entire story with the duke, even including details she had not shared with Anna. Such as the fact that Kitty had kissed the duke several times.
“Well, upon my soul, you love him,” Fanny gasped, her eyes wide.
“I do, and I hate that I do, for he does not care for me. I have been away from him for a month, and all the odious man does is torment me with notes and flowers but say nothing more!”
“Love! You hardly know him, Kitty,” Ophelia objected, sounding considerably surprised.
Kitty surged to her feet and started pacing by the windows. “How long does it take to fall endlessly into passion and feel tender sentiments for another? No other has ever held such power to sway my emotions from one extreme manner to the next as the duke. I ache for him, and then I feel such anger, then I cry, and then I laugh when I remember the incredible moments we spent together.” She paused and stared at her friends, who returned her regard with an air of astonishment.
“There is something wonderful between us, and it sparks to life from a mere glance and transcends into something so profound at times that I am breathless, unable to believe such feelings for this person could be real. I am certain, so certain that the duke feels it, too! That wretched, odious man!”
Ophelia’s eyes widened, and she lowered her teacup and saucer to the table before their sofa. “Your nerves are overset.”
Kitty snorted inelegantly and resumed her pacing, wearing the carpet into the floor. A stark emptiness rose inside her like a great swell, threatening to drown her. “With Alexander, I saw…” She choked on the words, tears welling in her eyes.
Maryann stood, ambling over, and touched Kitty’s hands fleetingly, her eyes warm with compassion. “What did you see?”
“Happiness.” She closed her eyes, and a tear rolled down her cheek. Kitty swiped it away with anger. “I cannot explain it. I am happy with Mamma and my sisters, doing everything I can to help them find their place within society. But since I met the duke, I saw…I saw happiness for me—and for him. This hope is unlike any I’ve ever felt and I daresay will ever experience again. It feels raw, powerful, and fills every part of my heart with a certainty that Alexander is an important part of my life. He is not my life…but he completes it so fully, I know now how empty I’ve been. I suspect I am his happiness, too, but he will not reach for me. He sends me notes and flowers yet no words of love or commitment. He mocks every emotion I feel in my soul for him by remaining silent!”
“What do the notes say?” Maryann asked.
“They are all simple letters… He misses me… He thinks of me,” she said with a note of wonderment. “Things we had not shared in our time at McMullen Castle. But if he wants me to know these things, why is he telling me in this wretched manner with little directions to his regards?”
Fanny also stood and drifted closer. “Perhaps he is afraid.”
“Afraid?” Kitty cried, her heart incensed beyond measure. “He is Alexander Masters, Duke of Thornton. What about me can he fear?”
“Of disappointing you, hurting you with his limitations, loving you so much, he would rather set you free than be a burden,” Ophelia murmured.
“How absurd. A man as self-assured and indomitable as Alexander could never think he would be a burden,” Kitty said softly.
But then her thoughts drifted to their moments on the lake. With you I want to share my silence.