“It must have been horrifying.” The fear would have been so overwhelming. The agony when he realized what had been lost…
“Whenever I dream of that day…I see the entire day, from the joy and laughter to the screams and agony, and for that reason…this nightmare I revisit so often is very precious to me.”
Something shattered inside her, and the ache in Kitty’s chest grew until the pressure threatened to smother her. “Then I shall not wake you the next time.”
His lips tipped. “I am not sure how to feel that you believe there will be a next time. But I thank you, Miss Danvers.”
She flushed and was grateful for the barely-there light in the chamber.
Kitty had the most ridiculous urge to scuttle closer and hug him. His strength awed and humbled her. They remained unspeaking for several moments, and gradually his breathing evened out. Still, she wondered. “Are you asleep—?”
“Are you asleep—?”
He chuckled, and the low, rich sound heated her from the inside.
“It seems we are like-minded in our questions, Miss Danvers.”
She smiled. “Evidently so. Please, you go first.”
“I am curious about you, and since knowing of you, all the space in my thoughts has been dominated by you.”
She faltered into astonished stillness. She couldn’t move, couldn’t speak, couldn’t think of anything to say. So she simply waited, her heart tripping a sweet beat.
“You seem remarkably adept at taking care of your family. You would sacrifice all for them. I find that admirable.”
She snorted. “So admirable, you found it necessary to blackmail me?”
“Oh? I thought our negotiation one of mutual satisfaction.”
She huffed out a breath.
He folded his hands behind his head. “I wonder, what do you dream of?”
Well, that was quite easy to answer. “My sisters—”
“For yourself,” he murmured. “What do you hunger for?”
She stared at him in bemusement. No one had ever asked her that, had they? In truth, Kitty wasn’t certain she’d ever asked herself the question. Since the death of Papa, every thought had been about how to make her sisters and mother happy. “I haven’t had time to dream.”
“Then dream for me now,” he murmured.
She gasped softly. “Whatever do you mean, Your Grace?”
“Tell me the secret hungers in your
heart. The ones you’ve suppressed as you put your family and duty even above your reputation and happiness.”
“And are you so certain hidden desires of such a kind exist?”
“Every man, woman, and child possesses them. From the whimsy to the grave ambitions. Only a few have the audacity to transform a dream into reality. You are in that category.”
A peculiar warmth flowered through her entire body. Had she ever wanted anything for herself?
She rolled onto her stomach and propped her chin in the palms of her hands, very much like she did when conversing with her sisters. “Once I dreamed of acting on the stage, like my aunt Harriet. She shocked the family, you know, and they’ve all but disowned her.”
“But not you,” he said musingly.
She laughed lightly. “Not me. I’ve snuck away to watch her onstage. She is beyond wonderful. Her talent immeasurable. Before Papa died, we visited her often whenever she was on break. She taught me all she knew about being an actress. Mamma was horrified, but Papa was more indulgent.”