“I did it.” I smile back, dropping my hand from my mouth.
Honestly, I don’t even remember everything that happened out there. It all went by so fast, and the loud, sexy beat of the music just drowned out the voices in my head until all I could think about was moving my body. Each shout of approval, whistle of appreciation, and wad of dollar bills that were tossed on stage at my feet, spurred me on to keep going, do more, be sexier, break out of my comfort zone and make that stage my bitch.
“No need to thank me for making you watch that corny movie last night. Watching you hump that stripper pole like a champ is all the thanks I need,” Ariel laughs.
When she showed up at my house last night while I was on the verge of a panic attack, pathetically practicing some dance moves in front of the mirror in my bedroom, she grabbed my laptop and ordered Striptease with Demi Moore. She’s right, it was the corniest movie I’ve ever seen, but Jesus that woman could move. We’d pause the movie a hundred times during her dances and Ariel would make me copy her moves until I got them just right.
I’ve never felt a high like this before. My heart is racing, my hands are shaking, and all I can think about is doing it again. I never want this feeling to end. This feeling of freedom and sexiness and being in control.
Right when I think nothing could possibly ruin this moment, I realize I’ve forgotten about the one person who could ruin everything about the good mood I’m feeling.
The dressing room door suddenly flies open and slams against the opposite wall with a bang, making Ariel and I jump. PJ stands in the doorway, his chest heaving and his nostrils flaring as he points at Ariel without ever taking his eyes off mine.
“You. Out. Now,” he orders her through clenched teeth.
She opens her mouth, probably to go off on him, but I quickly reach out and grab her arm, giving it a squeeze.
“It’s fine. Go grab a drink and I’ll come find you in a little bit,” I tell her quietly.
She looks at me with wide eyes, silently telling me that I damn well better not let him ruin my night with whatever he came in here all pissed off about. I give her a small nod, making sure she knows I hear her loud and clear.
With a sigh, she turns and heads toward the door, pausing in the doorway just long enough to growl at PJ and give him a dirty look before she disappears out into the hall.
As soon as she’s gone, PJ stomps into the room, grabs the door handle and jerks the door closed so hard it rattles the door frame. I can’t deny how hot he looks in a pair of tailored black dress pants and a dark-gray button-down dress shirt. The sleeves of his shirt are unbuttoned and rolled up to his elbows, and I can see the corded muscles in his forearms as he clenches and unclenches his fists down by his sides. I watch with growing irritation as he just stands there glaring at me with a muscle ticking in his jaw as he grinds his teeth with obvious anger. At me. Because I dared to go against his demands and did what I wanted.
“I can’t believe you—”
“Oh, screw you!” I shout, cutting off the start of his lecture, which comes out through his still-clenched teeth. “I’m well aware of how much you don’t believe in me, thank you very much. I hope you didn’t come storming in here like a fucking Neanderthal expecting an apology, because you’re not getting one! I didn’t go behind your back to set this up with Tiffany or go out there on that stage tonight to piss you off, I did it for me. FOR ME! I made a decision about MY life and about what I needed to do to get it back on track so I don’t feel like I’m drowning every minute of every damn day!”
He opens his mouth to interrupt me but I don’t let him. I’m too fired up to stop now.
“Maybe I wasn’t the best, maybe I still have a lot of work to do, and maybe all of that clapping and cheering and whistling was because they felt sorry for me, but I don’t give a shit! I conquered my fears. I made my fears my BITCH. I went out there on that stage and I danced and I took my clothes off and I loved every fucking minute of it! For the first time in my life I felt like I was in control, and there’s no way in hell I’m going to let you just storm in here and ruin that for me!”