I won’t hurt Alexandra, and she’s made it pretty clear that the less interaction I had with Jessica the better. Since she was already raw from the pregnancy, I was bending over backwards to please her. So I told Jessica in no uncertain terms that the phone calls at all hours weren’t going to fly. She’s been ringing my phone off the hook, which was making Alexandra rabid.
You’ve not seen anything like a teenage girl in a rage while riding your dick. Come to think of it, some of our best fucks came after one of Jessica’s calls. Maybe I should rethink my stance on that. Then again, nah, I don’t need the fucking aggravation. Plus I didn’t like her being hurt. It was to the point where she tensed up every time the phone rang.
So I had a heart to heart with Jessica and laid down the rules of engagement if you will. She wasn’t too happy about that and from the shit she was saying as I left, I got the idea that she hadn’t given up on her dream of her and I having a happy little family together.
She brought up Alexandra but I shut her down before she went too far. No way in hell was I going to discuss my woman with her. I finally admitted to myself that I was pissed that she was going to have my kid. It’s the reason I’d always used protection with all the women I took to my bed in the past. I didn’t want just anyone bearing my seed. A fuck was one thing, my progeny quite another. The fact that I never once thought of putting on a rubber with Alexandra says a lot.
I probably should care how Jessica felt carrying my child while I was in love with someone else and had no plans on leaving her, but I didn’t have it in me to be such a damn hypocrite. I hated like fuck that she had any part of me, and was not looking forward to the next eighteen years of having to deal with her.
Alexandra had once made the comment that I didn’t know Jessica, but I knew enough. Nothing I couldn’t handle. As long as she kept her shit away from Alexandra we were all good.
Her latest call was just a few short hours ago when she called to invite me to dinner to talk. I guess her many trips to my office where she was repeatedly turned away had finally gotten to her. I declined of course. Because I like my balls just where they are, and the hellion had threatened them with grave harm if I even looked in Jessica’s direction without her there.
She was afraid a lot and trying to hide it from me, but I knew her too well. She was trying to be brave and mature, but she couldn’t hide the fact that each time the child was mentioned it broke her heart.
There was nothing in the world I could do about that, so I tried even harder to give her all of me. It seemed to be working for now and I mean to keep it that way. I just need to keep that she witch at arm’s length until after the baby was born, and then we’ll see what needed to be done.
18
Alexandra
I should’ve known that something like this would happen. It’s always been this way in my life. First my mom, then my dad and stepmom. Everyone I love is always taken from me. Now I’m going to lose Solomon just when we found each other as lovers. It’s just not fair.
I don’t know how much longer I can keep up this front, of bravery, but I’ll do it for him, even though I feel like I’ve already lost. Those few weeks we had in the beginning will always be my most cherished memories. That was the only time I had him all to myself. No matter what happens now, I’ll always be sharing him with her and her child.
It’s mean and I’ll probably burn in hell for thinking it, but I hate them both. I don’t want to share him with anyone, he’s mine-he’s always been mine, since I was eleven years old and he held me that first time while I wept for my dad.
He didn’t know it, but my young impressionable heart had fallen at his feet way back then. Of course I loved him with an innocent love. It was enough just to be close, to do everything together. Back then he kept his women away from the house and it was a while before I knew he even dated.
I remember the fit I had that first time after picking up the phone and the female on the other end was cooing some not so innocent things into his ear. I’d ran down to the garden and beat my hands against the dirt until they bled. It was the only way I knew how to release the pain.