I was never normally at The Manor. I had my own apartment, after all. An apartment I had barely visited after Eva showed up on our doorstep. Now there I was, worried about Eva and what she may be in for. After a long shower, I dressed and sat at the edge of my bed, thinking. I needed to think. I needed to remember everything that was said the day they named me president of this chapter. Everything that was asked of me. Everything that I swore I’d do for them. And I would. I knew deep down that I’d signed myself over to The Swords when I accepted everything they’d given me, but if that included giving them Eva, I’d have to draw a line. Thirty years, they’d said. A sacrifice, the nun told Eva. They were obviously functioning on some sort of code. I only hoped I could crack it before it was too late.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Eva
What was the correct thing to say to the twin sister you’d never met? A sister who may or may not have fed you to the wolves. I wiped my clammy hands over my jeans and stood up, pacing the parking lot for what seemed like the millionth time. Adam told me to stay in the car. He told me not to go inside under any circumstance. He also stuck Will with me and there was no way I could outrun him, so I was staying put.
“What’s taking him so long?” Will huffed, crossing his arms as he looked toward the building.
“The daytime staff leaves at six,” I said. “He’s probably waiting for the main doctors to clear out.”
“How often do you come here?”
“These days? Twice a month.”
“And before?”
“A lot more than twice a month.”
“What were you in for?” He eyed me sideways.
“Everything under the sun.” I faced him. “From anger issues to hallucinations.”
“Hallucinations?”
“When I was little, I saw a little girl who looked like me. I chased her halfway through the mall and got separated from my mom. I lost sight of the little girl and security found me, but I swear it was my twin.”
“And they said you hallucinated it?”
“They said I wanted to have a sister so badly, I made one up.” I shrugged, looking away.
“Well, joke’s on them.”
“I think the joke is still on me.” I shook my head. “I’ve spent my entire life seeing things through fogged-up lenses and they’re starting to clear up.”
“You think they knew about your sister and were purposely lying to you about her?”
“I think they lied to us both.”
“Do you think they lied about your anger and all of your other issues too?”
“It’s hard to say.” I looked over at him again. “When someone tells you who they are, do you believe them?”
“Do you?”
“I guess so.” I looked away and blinked the unexpected tears that burned my eyes.
I’d spent so much of my life putting up barriers to avoid getting hurt. I’d turned my back on Karen when she tried to help, and lashed out when she acted protective toward me. As much as it pained me, I saw that now. Will’s phone started vibrating in his hand and I wiped my face as he answered.
“We’re on our way.” He glanced up at me as he hung up the phone. “You know where the entrance to the B-Wing is?”
“That’s where she is?” My chest tightened.
“Apparently.” Will and I started walking. I picked up my pace and he followed. “What’s in the B-Wing?”
“Trouble.”
It was the only word I could use to properly describe it. Of course, to the staff and doctors, the B-Wing probably meant opportunities for new discoveries, but for those on the receiving end of the treatments, it meant endless days that looped together and confusion. I thought about the day I was picked up by the cops, the day this all started, and came to the same conclusion I did that evening. I must have been in the B-Wing. Before the initiation with The Swords, I’d never done drugs willingly, but the only time I’d ever felt close to that euphoria followed by a murky aftermath was when I’d been in the B-Wing. As we approached the side door of the building, I took a deep breath and shook my nerves away. The door opened before us and Adam appeared, wearing his slacks, dress shirt, and tie. He looked like he belonged here. Not the way I did, inside one of those rooms being watched and studied twenty-four hours a day. He belonged like he could one day be running the place that housed people like me. I tried and failed not to picture it—us on either side of the glass.
“Hey.” Adam took my hand suddenly, and the picture dissipated. I glanced up at him. “You sure you want to do this?”