I hated that look. And even though what she had to say might scare the shit out of me, I got out of the truck and headed her way. The pull to her was instinctive; the need to protect her was primal.
“You came here to think, too?”
She tilted her head back to look at me. “I did. Want me to leave?”
I tried to read what were behind those sad blue eyes. Shaking my head, I said, “No, I don’t. Not at all.”
I sat next to her and dangled my legs off the dock. There were so many conflicted emotions on her face. The breeze picked up, alleviating some of the stifling heat we’d had that day. Lex rested her chin back on her bare knees and looked out at the lake. “It’s so peaceful here. I should have called your parents and asked if I could come. But I—”
“You never have to ask to come out here.”
We grew silent again. I was impatient to get the answers I needed, but Lex couldn’t be pushed. From the distant look on her face, I imagined a war raging within her.
Finally, she responded, “I was a coward. And I was confused.”
“About?”
She looked me in the eye, and I could see the hurt she’d been hiding. It was raw, anguished, and I wanted to hold her until I could convince her everything would be okay.
Sighing, she shook her head. “Everything I thought was right in my life was suddenly wrong.”
That makes no fucking sense. I watched her closely, waiting.
“Remember after the reading of Dad’s will, Montgomery handed me a letter?”
“Yeah.” I swallowed, anxious to hear what had happened.
“It was from Dad.”
Again, I felt like she was spoon-feeding me information. I prodded her to continue, “What did the letter say?”
Her eyes brimmed with tears, and I couldn’t stand it. I reached out, and Lex came into my arms willingly. I held her to me, searing the moment into my mind. She began to sob.
“Lex, what happened? Did someone hurt you?”
If someone had, I would kill them.
She shook her head. “No. No one hurt me.”
I rubbed her back as she cried, and slowly she calmed down. When she pulled back, I saw the heartbreak on her face. “I’m so confused. It was easier when I was far away. I could keep you out of my mind. But you’re here and…”
No. No. No. She needed to finish that sentence. A hell of a lot hung on that sentence. “I’m here and what?”
“Dad told me to leave you. That, in time, I would understand why. He said it was his last piece of fatherly advice.” Her voice caught, and she closed her eyes. “I was so confused, Drake. So confused. And I simply reacted. I wasn’t thinking. I wasn’t myself. I just did as he asked.”
The air left me in a rush, and I couldn’t quite catch my breath as I tried to process the words. Ike wanted Lex to leave me? I stared speechless at Lex. I was barely able to ask, “What?”
“I know Dad loved you. I had just lost him. And the letter. It was too much. I reacted. I was emotional. And I regret everything.”
Stay calm. Lloyd told Lex to break up with me? That made no sense. “Do you have the letter?”
She sniffed and pulled it from her back pocket. It was soft and worn. Really worn. It looked like it had been refolded thousands of times. Through a couple of sniffles, she said, “Every time I felt weak and wanted to call you, I read the letter.”
It had been read a lot. “Can I?”
“Yeah.”
I unfolded the letter; it was short.