“Damn, I don’t even want to know what he’s thinking about,” Train told Viper.
“Can I help it if I’m in a good mood on my wedding day?” Shade asked.
“Fuck no. I just wished it would last,” Train laughed.
“About as long as you lasted with Killyama?”
Train’s laughter died abruptly. “What in the hell do you mean by that?”
“Stud told me when I called to invite them all to the wedding that Killyama has been telling anyone who will listen that”—Shade had to smother his laughter—“you’re a little quick on the draw.”
Train stood so fast his chair fell backward. “That bitch! I’ll show her how long I can last. Next time I fuck her, I’m going to make her beg me for twenty minutes before I let her come.”
Viper pushed him back down in his chair after picking it up. “You aren’t going anywhere. I’m not starting a war with the Destructors and The Blue Horsemen just because you can’t perform,” Viper joked, sitting down next to Train.
“Oh, he performed, just not long enough,” Shade reminded Viper helpfully.
Train turned red, clenching his fists on the table. “I’m going to pay her back some way,” he promised.
“Brother, I don’t think you’re up to the job,” Knox joked.
Train went for Knox, having enough of the kidding, but Viper and Shade held him back as the women returned. Train sat sulkily back down at the table, drinking his beer.
Shade looked for Lily and didn’t see her.
Beth came in the kitchen, wrapping her arms around Razer from behind.
“Where’s Lily?” Shade asked her.
Beth nodded out the backdoor. “She wanted to go for a walk before she came inside. Shade, Georgia gave her a hard time at church tonight.” Shade started to question her, but Beth raised her hand. “Lily handled it. She had Georgia running out of the church.”
“She’s fired,” Razer snarled before Shade could.
“I’m not going to argue—Georgia stepped over the line tonight—but, Shade, I don’t think that’s all that’s bothering Lily. When we were in my car today, she asked the women who the worst one in the club was.” Beth looked toward Train. “She thought it was Train, but she figured out it was you.”
The women in the room looked guiltily away from him.
Shade nodded, going toward the door. “Thanks, Beth. I’ll handle it.
“See, Lily knows I can last a long time. I’ll get her to tell those bitches the truth—” Train broke off when Shade turned back to stare at him.
Train hastily changed his mind when he saw Shade’s expression. “Then again, maybe I won’t.”
Shade went out the backdoor.
“I told you his good mood wasn’t going to last,” Train muttered.
* * *
Shade found Lily leaning against the front porch post of their house, staring out at the mountains.
“Why are you out here?” Shade asked, coming to the bottom of the steps, looking up at her.
“You couldn’t have picked a better spot for your home. The view is … perfect. When I stand here from this viewpoint, I feel like I could reach out and touch the sky. It sounds silly, but it’s so high here I think God might hear me a little better.”
She gave him wry smile. “When I was a little girl, I would pray and pray at night. My real mother wasn’t much of a church-goer. If it wasn’t for my friends, I wouldn’t even have known there was a God. They told me about Him. My mother didn’t believe, explaining as much to me.”
“Lily, stop. I told you, not today. Not on our wedding day,” Shade begged her. He didn’t want her dream day spoiled with nightmares from her past.
“I have to tell you today, Shade. Today’s the day you made me your wife.” Her arms circled the post she was leaning against.
Shade wanted her to lean on him for the strength she needed, but he remained at the bottom of the steps, sensing her need to talk. She thought he didn’t know the woman he had married; however, he had known from the first time he had looked in her eyes.
“I didn’t know what a daddy was, so my friends tried to explain it to me. When they told me, I started crying because I wanted one. I didn’t have a lot—no dolls or toys—but I never cried for those. But when they told me what a daddy was, I really wanted one of those. My friends didn’t know what to do, but then one of them ran into her apartment and came out with a Bible, and they told me about God, how He was everyone’s Father. I would talk to Him whenever … whenever I needed Him. I don’t know if He could hear me. I don’t think I was close enough.
“That’s why I love the mountains. I feel closer to God. When I came to the mountains, He gave me parents who loved me. He gave me Beth, and He gave me you, Shade. My husband.
“Do you know why I didn’t want to have sex with my husband before I married? Because I wanted it to be clean and new, because I’m dirty, unclean—”
“Don’t you ever fucking say that again!” Shade’s foot came up on the first step.
“It’s the truth, Shade. I’ve slept with more men than any woman in that house, and you deserve to know that. I can’t give you my virginity; I lost it long ago and everything else from that life that I forgot until Halloween night.”
“I wish you had never remembered.” Shade’s voice held all the anguish he felt at what she had lived through.
“I don’t. It was destroying me, Shade.”
“There was nothing worth remembering.”
His harsh words had her straightening from the pole.
“Oh, yes, there was. There were three little girls who were like sisters. When my mother would finally crash and sleep, she would take me to a babysitter. I know my mom didn’t pay her; she spent all her money on anything other than me. I was raised with two beautiful little girls. They loved me enough to see that I had food to eat, that I had toys to play with, that I had a normal touch. They would hold my hand constantly when we went out. They were constantly afraid they would lose me.
“We would sit on the playground and pretend that we would run away when we grew old enough. Vida was sweet and sensitive. She loved animals. She wanted to live on a farm. Sawyer was more adventurous. She wanted to have fun. She chose Disneyland, and I wanted to see the Northern Lights.”
“That was why you wanted to go to Alaska,” Shade wondered aloud softly.
“I had the farthest to run,” she said softly. “That night we were looking through those books must have triggered a memory. My mind was trying to remind me of my past. A past I don’t belong to any more than I belong here.”
She stood straight, standing on the top step, looking down at him. “You thought I was a young, innocent woman, that I’ve never touched alcohol. You don’t know that I was sold for pocket change. I’ve done things which make me sick. How can I belong anywhere when I know how disgusting I am?”
“Lily, look at that house behind you. I built that house for you—every room, this porch, these steps, is for you, for us and the children we will have.” He put every ounce of the passion and love he felt for her in his voice so she would understand her past wasn’t a burden she had to carry alone anymore.
“I love you. When I say it, I don’t say it lightly. I say it because, when I look at you, I see an angel who God let slip through His fingers to leave behind just for me.
“Lily, you belong. You belong to me. You will always belong to me.” Shade walked up the steps, sweeping her up into his arms. “Always.”
He took her to the front door of their house, carrying he
r inside and slamming the door behind them. Reaching beside the door, he balanced her while he flipped on the lights.
Lily stared around the living room filled with furniture. “When did you do this?” she asked, seeing the furniture they had just picked out the day before.
“While you were in church tonight. The brothers and I busted our balls getting this done while you were gone.”
“How did you get the furniture delivered so fast?”
“I threatened Leonard, but I also gave him a big tip,” Shade said ruefully.
“We did good,” Lily said, trying to wiggle down so she could look closer at her house. “Let me down; I want to see the kitchen,” Lily said, exasperated.
“Later. I’m going to show you the bedroom first.” His gave her a wicked grin, and she grinned back, laying her head on his shoulders.
Shade took her upstairs to the bedroom where the door was already open. He carried her through, setting her down in their new bedroom. There were candles set in various places throughout the room, giving it a soft glow, and the bed was made up with the covers pulled down. On the bed was the present she had bought Shade the day before.
“Beth made me promise to have it on the bed waiting for you,” he told her when her eyes fixated on it.
“What time is it?” Lily asked.
Shade glanced down at his watch. “Eleven-thirty.”
“That’s close enough. I think it’s time I gave you your Christmas present,” she said mischievously.
Lily went to the bed, picking the package up, and then headed toward the bathroom.
“Wait, I thought you were going to let me open it?” Shade asked, confused. If it was meant for him, why was she taking it away?
“I will. Give me ten minutes.” Lily disappeared into the bathroom.
Shade took his clothes off while she was in the shower then laid down on the bed to wait for her. The bathroom door opened some time later, and he saw his wife standing in the doorway.
“That is the best present I’ve ever had. Come here and let me open it.” His intense eyes didn’t lift from the gift she had bought him.
The white lace corset she was wearing had no straps. It hugged her chest in sweetheart cups which pushed her full breasts up and showed how tiny her waist was in comparison to her flared hips. The lace ended just above the tiny white lace panties.