He and Lily stayed at the clubhouse until late. When they went home, Lily showered first. After Shade took his, he lay down on the bed and she rolled over to him, wrapping her arms around him and hugging him close.
“Is it awful of me that I’m glad you weren’t there?” she whispered.
“No.” His hand went to her ass, massaging the firm flesh. “You think it’s awful I wish I was?” he whispered back.
Lily placed gentle kisses against his throat. “No. You wanted to protect the men you lost, and you weren’t there, so you wouldn’t be you if you didn’t feel bad about it.”
Shade shook his head in the dark, rising up on an elbow. “Lily … I don’t…”
“You don’t what?” Lily stared up at him with the same look she had since the day she had married him—complete trust.
“Nothing. Night, angel.” He turned the light out, lying back down.
“Good night, Shade.”
* * *
He stood in the doorway of the church, watching Cash put on the performance of a lifetime.
“Seems to me it would have been a lot simpler to propose,” Train said.
“Must have been worried about getting a yes,” Shade stated as Lucky performed the wedding ceremony between Rachel and Cash.
“Another brother bites the dust. There must be something in the water,” Train joked, but Shade heard the envy in his voice.
He was aware that Cash had let him join in with him and Rachel a couple of times.
He might live with Lily in a separate house, but that didn’t mean he didn’t do his job by seeing to the members’ safety. He was fucking ecstatic that he didn’t have to follow Rachel home anymore to make sure she arrived safely when she snuck out of Cash’s bed every morning. Shade supposed he could have called and told Cash she was leaving, but the brother had always appreciated things more when he had to work for them. He hadn’t given a shit about his promotion in the military until it had been denied. Then he had worked his ass off, pulling extra duty until he had been promoted a year later. He didn’t slack off once he had the promotion, either. Rachel was a smart woman, and she would keep Cash on his toes.
Train was different than any of the other brothers. They all loved pussy and lots of it, but Train more than any of them. The difference was the man wanted a wife and kids. He wanted to settle down. He just hadn’t met the woman yet who could give him what he wanted. The brother was fucking eye-candy to women, like that fucking Conner whose ass he had sent back to Texas. Most women wanted Train for his dick, not seeing the tortured soul underneath.
“Enjoy yourself while you can. Once you put a ring on their finger, your life’s never the same again,” Shade told him.
Train looked at him sharply. “You regretting getting married already?”
Shade saw Lily crying as Cash slid the ring onto Rachel’s finger.
“I’ll never regret marrying Lily. It was the best moment of my life. If it lasts fifty years, it won’t be enough time with her.” Shade was aware he was opening himself to the brother, but he was also aware of the load he was carrying. “It’s like cutting your soul in half. You can either give it up voluntarily or fight it all the way.”
“Which was Cash?” Train said, nodding toward the happy couple kissing to the cheers of the church congregation.
“He fought it long and hard.”
“How about you?” Amusement filled Train’s face.
“Me?” Shade slapped Train on the back, pushing him forward to congratulate the newly married couple. “Hell, I was easy. I gave it up without her having to ask for it.”
Shade stood in the shadows, remembering his words to Train two days before as Brooke turned the bedroom light off.
Viper and the others had returned from the funeral a few hours ago. He had remained behind with Lily, Winter, Beth, and Diamond. Knox had made Diamond stay at the clubhouse while he was out of town.
As soon as the brothers had returned, he had gone to talk to Evie before coming over. The Freedom Riders were taken care of, and it was Brooke’s turn. All he needed was the opportunity.
Brooke was going to Georgia the following week. She had told Rachel when Rachel had requested that Pastor Merrick find someone who could help out in the store for a couple of days so she and Cash could have a short honeymoon. Lily wanted to, but he had put his foot down. There was no way she was stepping foot back in the church store until Brooke was no longer a threat.
With her due in two weeks, it barely gave him enough time to do what he needed. Brooke would be leaving for Georgia, but she wouldn’t be coming back.
Chapter 90
“What’s the rush?” Viper asked when he saw Shade come out of the factory in a hurry.
“I left Lily at the obstetrician’s office when her appointment was delayed because the doctor was delivering a baby, so I’m going back to pick her up. If we didn’t have that special order to get out, I would have waited with her.”
“I’ll see you later then.”
Shade nodded, getting inside the truck and driving toward town. He had texted Lily that he was on the way before he had left the factory.
He drove the truck to the front of the doctor’s office and was about to get out of the truck when Lily came rushing out, practically jumping inside the truck, which wasn’t an easy accomplishment at her late stage of pregnancy.
“What’s the hurry? You in labor?” Shade asked, noticing her pale cheeks and frightened eyes.
“No.” She remained quiet after that, staring out the window.
Shade put the truck in gear then drove back toward the clubhouse, shooting her several glances along the way. She was being uncharacteristically quiet, and her fingers were trembling.
When he pulled up in front of the clubhouse, she climbed out without waiting for him before going up the pathway as if she was trying to outrun him.
A sense of foreboding struck Shade. Something was wrong for Lily to be acting that way.
He followed behind her, concerned yet wanting to wait until they were alone at their house. She didn’t go to their house, though. She went to Beth’s and Razer’s, knocking on their door.
“Lily, what…?” Shade started.
Beth answered the door, her eyes going first to Lily’s frightened face then Shade’s concerned one. Before she could speak, Lily held out her hand.
“I need to borrow your car keys.”
“Okay.” Beth left the door briefly before coming back. She was about to hand Lily the keys when Shade cut in.
“Lily, if you want to go somewhere, I’ll take you.” Shade tried to take her arm but she jerked away from him, still not meeting his eyes.
Razer came to the door of his house, watching silently. When he would have said something, Shade turned to him and snapped, “Don’t interfere.”
“Lily, come inside and tell me what’s wrong.”
“If you don’t give me the keys, I’ll call a cab. It’s what I should have done, but a cab wouldn’t drive me to the airport in Lexington.”
“You’re too far along to get on a plane,” Beth reminded her.
“Then I’ll drive to where I’m going.”
“Lily, what is fucking wrong?” Shade couldn’t keep the harshness out of his voice because he was too worried. His guts twisted at how she was ignoring him as if he wasn’t there. She hadn’t acknowledged his presence until he had reached out to touch her.
Bliss and Train had been sitting on the picnic table, drinking beers. Shade felt them watching. The kitchen window was open, and when the door opened and the members started coming out, he knew they were hearing their raised voices.
He reached out to touch Lily’s arm, but she moved out of his reach again jerkily.
“I’m leaving you, and as soon as possible, I’m going to divorce you.” Her voice was emotionless, unlike anything he had heard come from her before.
“The hell you are!”
“You can’t stop me. You’ve lied to me the whole time we w
ere married. I’m the only one here who didn’t know your secret, because you knew I wouldn’t marry you if I knew the truth.” Lily walked agitatedly back and forth across Beth’s porch.
“What are you accusing me off?” Shade asked quietly.
“You’re an assassin, hired by the highest bidder to kill people. Did you kill Digger?”
“Yes.”
“Georgia?”
“Yes.”
“Oh, God.” Lily shook, crying and grabbing onto the porch rail.
Beth took a step forward, but Shade blocked her. Razer took her arm, pulling her back and holding her around the waist.
“I’m not going to apologize to you for anything I’ve done. I’ve never killed anyone who didn’t deserve it.”
“You’re not God! It’s not up to you to make that judgment.”
“Whose is it, then? What justice did their victims get? They don’t even have a fucking body count on how many women Digger killed or know where their bodies are. Their families will never be given the chance to bury them. Where’s the justice in that?
“Georgia tried to kill you twice, and do you think she would have shed one tear if she had succeeded? The night she started the fire, she could have killed not only us, but the whole club. It was full that night, so over sixty people could have died.”
“She was in prison.”
“The bitch had three kids, and her lawyer was filing a petition to get her out,” Shade said remorselessly.
“You don’t even care that those kids are orphans now.”