PROLOGUE
Our dearest Leo,
You have no idea how much joy it gives us to write this letter. We have hoped and prayed for this moment for so long. We hope you are well, we hope you are healthy, and we want you to know that we’ve spent every day thinking about you, and the last thirty-five years looking for you. You have always been in our hearts, Leo, always. Please believe that.
Thirty-eight years ago we were young, foolish teenagers who fell in love. Our parents disapproved and when we fell pregnant with you we were forced to give you up for adoption.
We want you to know that it was never what we wanted. From the very first moment we knew you existed we wanted to keep you. But times were different then. Our parents bullied us, refused to support our relationship, and were ashamed of their illegitimate grandchild.
It broke our hearts, but we were penniless and had to agree to give you up for adoption, or we would have both been flung out of our homes.
Every day we talked about you and imagined where you were. We prayed you had parents who loved you as much as we did, and who nurtured and supported you.
Despite what our families thought, we stayed together and eventually married. As soon as we had some money we started our search for you. But the world was full of paper records then—people who kept secrets and those who told lies. It took years for us to learn you’d gone to the US, and then the trail went dead.
It broke our hearts all over again.
You have a brother, Sebastian, and a sister, Noemi. We always found it difficult to talk about your adoption to your siblings, but now that we’ve found you we would love it if our family could be reunited.
It has always been our dream that one day we could have all our children sitting around our table for Christmas dinner, like the true family we always wanted to be. We would love it if this could come true this year and wish that you could join us at Mont Coeur, Switzerland—the place where we have always loved to spend Christmas.
We’ve missed you every day, Leo.
Knowing that you are alive and well has brought us so much joy. We know you may be settled in your life. We know that you may well think of your adoptive parents as your only parents, and we will always respect your decisions and your wishes, but, please, please consider our request to meet.
There is nothing we want more than to throw our arms around our firstborn son and tell you how much we love you.
With our hearts,
Mamma e Papà
Salvo and Nicole Cattaneo
CHAPTER ONE
HE SHOULD NEVER have opened that letter.
His insides curled uncomfortably as he took the final few steps up to the veranda around the luxury chalet. Even though it was the beginning of November it seemed the Mont Coeur ski resort in Switzerland had moved
into full Christmas mode. Maybe it was the cold weather and snow that made the whole population think it was normal to have Christmas trees up at the beginning of November. But as his car had woven its way through the resort it had seemed that every business and shop in Mont Coeur was fully on board for the festive season.
Everywhere he looked there were garlands, twinkling lights and piped music.
On any other day he’d think the whole place was picture perfect—like a scene on one of those Christmas cards. But today wasn’t like any other day.
His parents’ luxury chalet seemed to be a leader in the festive decorations. Through the glass-panelled doors he could see the Christmas tree decorated in reds and gold as a focal point in the spacious living area; boughs of holly had been wound around the banisters and across the mantelpiece, where a fire was roaring beneath. And above him, against night sky, gold twinkling fairy lights adorned the outside of the chalet. The quintessential idyllic Christmas scene.
This should be different. This should be so different.
He should be coming here today to meet the parents who had given him up for adoption thirty-eight years ago. He should be coming here to learn more about the people who’d said they’d thought about him every day since. Instead, he was here at the insistence of a family lawyer he didn’t know and a sister, Noemi, whom he’d never met, for the reading of his parents’ will.
The warmth and the family feel of the chalet felt totally alien to him. He’d never experienced this lifestyle. He’d never experienced the true joy of a happy, family Christmas. And he couldn’t shake the guilty feeling that if he hadn’t been found, hadn’t answered their letter, then his parents would never have died in a helicopter crash on their way to meet him.
Now he was here at their request for the will reading—and to meet his two siblings.
Everything about this felt awkward and wrong.
His stomach churned again as he knocked on the glass door. Maybe no one was home? Maybe his siblings had changed their minds? It would be so much easier to turn on his heel, go back and find the alternative luxury chalet his PA had booked for him.
There was a flicker behind the glass. A woman rushed towards him. She was tall and slim with a short brown angled bob. Behind her, walking much more warily, was a tall, muscular man. Even from here Leo could see the creases along his brow.
The woman flung the door open. ‘Leo?’
Her brown eyes were hopeful. He could see her hands twitching at her sides. She was barely able to contain herself.
‘Yes,’ he replied hoarsely. It was all it took.
She let out a squeal and flung her arms around his neck. ‘Oh, Leo, I’m so glad to finally meet you.’
He stood frozen to the spot, not sure of whether he should lift his arms to hug this woman back. After what seemed like the longest time she finally pulled back, wiping a tear from her eye. ‘I’m Noemi. You know that, don’t you?’ She wiped away another tear and gestured to the man behind her. ‘And this is Sebastian, your brother.’
It had to be the most awkward meeting in history. Animosity was rolling off Sebastian in waves. He didn’t even step forward, just gave the barest nod of his head.
Leo steadied himself for a second. This was his brother and sister. When he’d been growing up he’d always wished he was part of a large family. He would have loved to have had a brother and sister. But his adoptive parents had already decided one child was too much. He was never quite sure why they’d adopted him as they’d shown so little interest in him.
All he wanted to do right now was turn and walk out the door. It made him feel pathetic. He was a businessman, a CEO. He spent his life in difficult business dealings. This should be nothing to him. But everything about this was unravelling a whole pile of emotions that he’d never acknowledged.
It was obvious that everyone in Mont Coeur was rich, even by his standards, his brother and sister included. Maybe they were worried he was here for money? Money that he didn’t need or want.
Noemi grabbed his hand. ‘Come in, Leo, come in. I want to hear all about you. I want to know how you are.’ She bit her bottom lip as a few more tears escaped. Was his sister always this tearful? He wasn’t big on emotion at the best of times and he was already feeling the overload.
Her hands were warm against his chilly skin and she pulled him inside. She drew him straight into the heart of the house, between the Christmas tree and the fireplace. ‘Give me your jacket,’ she said enthusiastically, tugging his dark wool coat from his shoulders.
Sebastian had barely moved. The muscles around the bottom of his neck were tense. He glanced at Leo as he shrugged his way out of his coat. His words were stiff. ‘My wife, Maria, and son, Frankie, hoped to be here but...’ his voice tailed as if he were trying to decide what to say ‘...they’ve been unavoidably delayed.’
Something in his gut told Leo that Sebastian hadn’t been exactly truthful when he’d spoken. He looked like a coil about to burst from into a spring. Either his wife and son didn’t want to meet the ‘new’ brother, or Sebastian was hiding something else completely. Leo had done enough business dealings to know when someone was being economical with the truth.
Noemi patted the sofa next to her. ‘Please, sit. Giovanni will be here soon, but I want a chance to chat first.’
Giovanni. The family lawyer who’d persuaded him to attend the reading of the will. Giovanni, who right now he wanted to email and tell him that he’d changed his mind.
He sat down on the sofa and was almost swallowed up by it. Leo wanted to laugh out loud, because that’s how he was feeling in general about the visit here.
His eyes caught sight of family pictures on the wall. There was a whole array, obviously taken over years, starting with a young smiling couple with a baby and toddler, going up to four adults all standing with their arms around each other. Love was plainly visible in every picture.
Something gripped in his chest. The family that he should have had. The family he should have been part of.
It was like a million little caterpillars creeping up his spine. He actually thought he might be sick.
He wanted to go over and grab the photos, hold them up to his nose and study his parents. He wanted to see the last thirty-eight years. What they’d been like, how they’d grown, how they’d aged. All things he’d been cheated out of.
He pushed himself up from the impossible sofa. ‘This was a mistake...’
‘What? No.’ Noemi looked instantly stricken.
Something twisted in his chest. He really couldn’t handle this. He wasn’t equipped to deal with this. He’d spent a lifetime devoid of any love. Forming relationships wasn’t his forte. The last woman he’d dated had described him as ‘cold’ and ‘hard’—two things he couldn’t really deny.
Getting that initial letter from his parents had been like a bolt out of the blue. It had taken him two weeks to reply. When he had, he’d been hit by the overload that was his mother, who’d emailed every day, making plans to visit.
Getting the call from Noemi—the sister he’d never met—to tell him that their parents had been killed in a helicopter crash while on their way to visit him in New York had almost taken the air from his lungs.
He so wasn’t ready for any of the emotions attached to having a family. Guilt. Expectation. Judgement.
He’d wanted to see them. Curiosity had made him fly to Switzerland to stand in the same room as his brother and sister and talk to them in the flesh. But now he’d done it.
He had to get out of here. He had to get some air.
A hand came down firmly on his arm. ‘Don’t go.’
Sebastian. His brother.
He could see Sebastian was struggling with this too. ‘Not yet.’ It was almost like he couldn’t quite get the words out.
Sebastian shook his head. ‘You just got here.’ He wasn’t really meeting Leo?
?s gaze. ‘Take a breath. Take a moment.’
Leo looked to his left. Noemi’s chin was trembling. He couldn’t watch her cry again.
Leo couldn’t work out if Sebastian was doing this for him or for his sister. Their sister. Noemi was their sister. Not just Sebastian’s.
Brain overload. This wasn’t him. Nothing about this was him. All of his life he’d been cool, calm and collected. Those three words were synonymous with how most of his work colleagues described him.
He pulled his arm away from Sebastian’s. He turned to face him. ‘I know I was asked to listen to the reading of the will. But now I’m here, I can see this isn’t appropriate. I don’t want anything from you both. I don’t need anything. I’m not here to take what you think is actually yours.’
A flicker of anger flashed across Sebastian’s eyes. But before he had a chance to respond there was another voice.
‘Ah, Leo, I see you made it. Perfect timing.’
Leo turned to face the figure standing at the now open door. ‘Giovanni Paliotta,’ said the grey-haired, designer-suited man as he closed the door behind him and walked over with his hand outstretched. He tilted his head to the side as he got closer. ‘It’s a pleasure to meet you. You’re so like your father.’
It was like a kick in the guts.
Giovanni didn’t seem to notice, and waved his hand towards a large table in the corner of the room. ‘Shall we sit?’
Noemi looked at the table, then glanced around the rest of the room, as if she were trying to find another place to sit, but Sebastian moved behind her, putting his arm at her waist and leading her over.
Leo’s gaze flickered. Twelve chairs. Enough for a large family gathering. Was this the table that his mother and father had traditionally sat around at Christmastime? Was this the table that his mother and father had intended for him to sit around with his brother and sister?
Leo had never wanted to bolt from a place so much in his life. He steadied his breathing.