“Hey, Tyler, what’s up?” Ava asked.
“Nothing much,” I lied. “Are those pretzels?”
“You mean the bowl of pretzels I have here every night? Yes.”
“I never noticed them before. You mean our guests have been getting free pretzels with their drinks?” I asked.
“Yes,” she responded deadpan, “like almost every other bar in America.”
“Really?”
Ava shook her head and went back to inspecting the liquor. I grabbed a handful of the tasty pretzels and made to stand and walk away when I heard Ava say something.
“What’s that?” I asked.
“How’s Becca?” Her back was to me, so I couldn’t judge her facial expression, but it seemed like there was a hint of a smile in her voice. I did not like that at all.
“What do you mean?”
“What do you mean, what do I mean?” she asked, turning to face me now. The smile was most certainly there.
I just stared at her. “Oh, come on,” she said, putting her clipboard down on the bar. “I saw you two the other night. You were flirting. A lot.”
“No, that’s not what was going on at all,” I lied.
“Yes, it was.”
“No, it wasn’t.”
“Yes, it was.”
I glared at her a little. “Ava, I was not flirting with Becca.”
“Tyler,” she said in a patronizing tone that, if I were honest, was only mimicking my own, “I am a girl. What’s more, I am a bartender. I know when men flirt. You were flirting with her.”
“That’s ridiculous,” I said. “She’s Nick’s sister.”
“And that somehow makes her not a beautiful woman who also just so happens to be single now?” she asked. I went quiet, and she nodded. “Uh-huh. That’s what I thought.”
“If we were flirting,” I said, and raised my voice to talk over whatever interjection she was opening her mouth to make, “and that’s a big if. If we were flirting, it was simple, silly bartender stuff. Nothing real.”
“Tyler, come on,” she said.
“I’m serious,” I said. “She’s Nick’s sister.”
“You’ve already said that, but it shouldn’t matter if it’s fate.”
I laughed. A lot. Like, way too much, and way too loudly.
“No, Ava, Becca and I are not fated to be or star-crossed lovers in a Shakespearean drama. She’s my best friend’s little sister, who yes, is very attractive—”
“I didn’t say ‘very.’”
“—but is also rebounding from being left at the altar by her fiancé and is most likely not interested in me for the same reasons I cannot possibly be interested in her,” I finished.
Ava pursed her lips in a mocking grin and raised her eyebrows before turning around to face the liquor again. “Whatever you need to tell yourself,” she tossed over her shoulder.
I grumbled and stood up, making my way for the back again. The second I got through the door and into the kitchen, all the run-ins from before started rolling through my mind, and my focus settled onto each one like bricks through water. Each interaction with Becca had been more impactful than the last, and each one had only solidified my attraction to her, and what felt like her growing attraction to me, too.
But that couldn’t be. She was rebounding from the loss of a love she thought she had and a future she was on the cusp of beginning. Whatever attraction she might have felt for me was likely purely physical and had no depth to it. And my attraction was likely spurred on by the taboo nature of her being Nick’s sister and the fact that I had carried a little torch for her ever since she was college age.
I tried to feel better about the situation by convincing myself that was all it was. That I was right, and Ava was wrong. That any murkiness I felt about Becca was purely temporary and would go away soon when she found herself. Perhaps even my current malaise over working at the bar was part of it. Maybe I just needed to accept that I wasn’t happy working here and was looking for an escape, something to excite me. And pining for someone I couldn’t have was certainly exciting, if frustrating. That’s what it had to be. A complex combination of frustration, anxiety, boredom, and loneliness was causing me to fixate on her.
I just needed to let it go. Despite my shower session, and her friend request, nothing could happen between us that wouldn’t be something we would both instantly regret and might even cause problems in my friendship with the most important friend in my life. I couldn’t let that happen, either.
It was better to chalk up the interactions we had, and the little shower session from earlier, as one-offs and move on. From now on, Becca was just a friend. Barely even that. The sister of a friend. Just like it had always been. And how it needed to stay.
10
Becca
I spent the entire day after sending in my application for the internship trying to figure out how I was going to tell my parents about it. After dinner with Nick the other night, their feelings about me continuing to pursue my career in psychology were pretty clear. Not only did they not think I could handle it, but they would have been more than happy if I just didn’t leave the house at all.