I felt my own eyes widen. I had said those words to her before.
My heart clenched at the possibility of her remembering. My hands shook as I caressed her cheeks.
“You are worth more than you think,” I whispered softly. So many months ago, I had said those exact words to her. And now I whispered them again, hoping it would make yet another difference.
I pressed our foreheads together, holding her to me. “You bring happiness to others. You bring light, my Angel. You changed me. You made me feel. I didn’t realize I was letting the shadow control me all this time. Not until you came into my life. You bring me light. Just like a true Angel.”
I was weak before. When she had cut herself and I had said those words to her, I kept my true feelings hidden. I had refused to tell her the truth I told her now.
But things had changed since then. I had changed.
And now I was going to rewrite our history.
With a sigh, I moved off her. She exhaled loudly, the comforter fisted tightly in her hands.
I placed my hand right next to hers. They were inches away. So close yet not touching.
“Can I touch you?”
Her gaze moved to our hands, but she didn’t respond. I knew she wouldn’t.
“Can I hold your hand?”
Ayla opened her mouth, and she gasped for breath. Her head snapped up, her startled eyes meeting mine.
It felt like my chest was being wrenched open when I saw tears forming in her eyes. She looked down at our hands. So close. I wanted to touch her. I knew I could if I wanted.
But I didn’t move. I waited for her.
Her tears didn’t fall. She swallowed several times before moving her hand over her stomach, giving me my answer.
It was such a déjà vu moment.
I chuckled under my breath. “Okay. So this is how you’re going to play.”
I moved to my knees until our faces were almost touching. “I’ll play your game then,” I continued. “I won’t touch you. Not until you ask me to.”
I could almost see the memory flashing behind her eyes. The way her lips parted in surprise, it gave her away.
“I won’t touch you. Not until you beg me for it,” I finished, my voice low and deliberately seductive.
We were about to go back to the beginning.
Ayla flinched before she closed her eyes tightly. I was tempted to take her in my arms and hold her close. Take away all her pain. Keep her nightmares away.
But I had been doing this for weeks. It didn’t make much of a difference.
So we were going to play it another way.
“Lena will bring our breakfast. After I feed you, I have to take care of some things. I won’t be far, though,” I explained.
This was almost a routine. After her panic attack, I explained to her what I was doing and where I was going. It was to keep her mind at ease. To let her know I was always there.
Walking away from the bed, I peeked at the full-length mirror, watching Ayla closely. She got out of bed and followed me into the bathroom.
Good. She was slowly doing things on her own.
I brushed my teeth, and she copied me. We washed our faces, and while I changed, she kept her dress on.
The breakfast tray was already waiting for us when we walked out of the bathroom. Ayla sat on her side of the bed, waiting.
Placing the tray between us, I fed her small bites while I ate too. I didn’t speak. Ayla stared at me, confused, but never uttered a word.
When a knock sounded on the door, I got off the bed. “That must be Maddie,” I muttered to Ayla.
“Come in,” I called out, putting on my suit jacket. Maddie walked in and smiled at Ayla.
“Are you ready for the tour?” she asked, looking at Ayla expectantly. Not that Ayla ever replied.
“I can take you to the back garden today,” Maddie continued, helping Ayla out of bed.
After Ayla’s panic attack, Maddie thought it would be good to help Ayla become familiar with the estate again.
Ayla looked back at me, waiting for my reply. She always did that. As if asking for my permission. If I said yes, she would go. If I said no, she never said anything but would stay in the room.
Not anymore.
“Do you want to go with Maddie?” I asked.
I saw her eyebrows furrow in question, her hands trembling at her side.
C’mon, Angel. Don’t be scared. I will be there to catch you if you fall.
“Ayla, do you want to see the back garden with Maddie?” I pushed.
She stayed quiet, but I saw her breathing had accelerated. Maddie looked at me, worried, but I stayed focus on the beautiful Angel in front of me.
She stared at me. Ayla took a deep breath, her gaze never moving away from mine. It was like she was taking her courage from me.