They clapped, as if this was some joyous moment to celebrate, but it was all so fake and I was sick to my stomach.
Julianna Spencer.
My new name.
My new beginning.
Yet it was nothing but bitter.
CHAPTER THREE
Killian
I twirled her around and she threw her head back, laughing. There was just something about her laugh; the way she was so soft and carefree. And I knew that laugh was only reserved for me.
I remembered the first time I met her. She had been watching me as I prepped Coal for a ride. The horse had been enthusiastic and it had felt her presence before I did.
Gracelynn.
My Grace.
“How do you want our wedding to be like?” I asked, pulling her closer to me. She fell into my arms and her smile turned… wary. It always did whenever I brought up the topic of our upcoming marriage.
Her lack of enthusiasm or the look of caution on her face was making me nervous. Was it possible she was having cold feet?
Or maybe she wasn’t ready to get married yet…
“Something simple,” Grace said, looking thoughtful. “But beautiful.”
I grasped her jaw in my hand and smokey grey eyes met mine and fuck, she intoxicated me with the madness in her gaze. There was just something in it.
So many secrets.
So much pain.
Loneliness and fear…
There was just something in them that screamed, don’t abandon me; keep me together.
“Do you want this marriage, Grace?” I asked and then the urge to kick myself was strong. Why torment myself with such a question, to give her an easy way out?
But as much as I wanted Grace as my wife, I needed her to want this as much as I did. My bride would come to our room at her own will and not because it was her duty to warm my bed.
Her eyes widened at the question and she grasped my hand in hers, squeezing with her all her might. Her chest rattled with a shaky breath. “Of course, I do! I always dreamed of my wedding and you – before I even met you.”
Thank fuck. “Why do I feel like there’s a but in there?”
Grace swallowed. “We still have so much to learn about each other.”
“I’ve been courting you for six months and we still have four months until our wedding.” I ran my fingers down the length of her white-blonde hair. The color was so light, her hair was almost a platinum white and silver shade that illuminated her round face. It made her grey eyes pop. “Plenty of time for us to still get to know each other.”
Grace was transparent, which meant she was a bad liar. Her eyes were the mirror to her heart and soul. They never lied, and today, they held such heartbreak in them – I could have drowned in them, like some mindless lover.
She came up on her toes and her lips brushed along my jaw, before they finally landed on my own waiting lips. A whispered kiss.
“Is there something you want to tell me, Grace?” I rasped into her mouth.
Her arms wrapped around my neck and she pulled away from the kiss, before burying her face into my throat.
“A secret,” she whispered. “Don’t hate me…”
“I could never–”
“Oh, I’m sorry!” another voice cut me off. “I didn’t know you were here, Killian. I was just coming to get my sister. We have plans.”
I looked back over my shoulder, where Julianna was standing. She fidgeted on the spot, looking a little guilty to have interrupted us. Goddamn it. Why did she always have to get in the middle? If I didn’t know better, I’d say she did it on purpose.
True, Julianna was supposed to chaperone because Bishop Romano had strictly forbidden me to meet with his daughter alone – even though she was my fiancée and we were about to get married in a little over four months.
Apparently, it had to do with the traditions that had been passed down in his family. Probably something about making sure I didn’t defile his daughter before our wedding.
Fuck that – I just wanted some time alone with my wife-to-be.
Grace pulled away and I reluctantly let her go. “You were going to tell me something?”
“Tomorrow? My sister can be a little impatient.”
I gestured toward the stables and the horses. This was our secret hideaway, our meeting place. I waited for her here every night, without fault, and she always came to me. “I’ll be here.”
“If my father finds out we’ve been seeing each other alone–”
I brought her hand to my mouth, kissing the back of it. “We’ll just say Julianna has been chaperoning for us.”
My lips lingered over the back of her hand for longer than it should and Grace gave me a tender smile when I finally let her go.
I watched her walk away.
Not knowing it was the last time I’d see her.