She pulls the door open. Leans against the frame. "I was going to ask you that."
"That's why we're soul mates," I tease.
"Really?" Her voice brightens. "I've beaten out Katniss?"
"Katniss doesn't make me chocolate chip pancakes."
Emma laughs. She takes my hand and leads me down the stairs.
The room is the same as always. Clean. Quiet. Still.
She motions to the couch. Then to the kitchen. "Or you can help."
"Sure." I follow her into the tiny space and get out all the wet ingredients.
She grabs the dry ones. Measures them into a giant white bowl. "You have a look."
"It's craving for chocolate."
"No. It's something else. Contemplation."
"Is that different than normal?"
Emma laughs as she licks sugar from a spoon. "Good point."
I crack two eggs and start whisking. I am contemplative. I need to talk to someone. And I want to talk to her. She's my best friend. "You think I could tell you anything that would change your opinion of me?"
"Sure." She takes the eggs, pours them into the bowl, stirs. "If you killed someone. Or if you failed a class. Or if you fucked Dean." Her eyes light up as she turns to me. "Did you fuck Dean?"
"No."
"You're blushing."
I am?
"You did something!" The spoon drops with a splat. Her hand goes over her mouth. "Oh my God, Kay, you did!"
I try a coy shrug.
"Bullshit. What did you do with Dean?"
"Nothing."
"Liar."
Maybe there is a way to say this without lying. At least technically. "I might have let someone..." I motion to my shorts.
"You let someone finger you?" She nearly shouts it.
"God, Em, you're gross."
She laughs. "You're the one letting Dean finger you."
I can't keep up the stern expression. I'm laughing too. This is normal. Girl talk. Only she doesn't realize it's about her brother.
I fill a measuring cup with chocolate chips then hand them to Emma.
"Was it good?" She plops a chip in her mouth.