* * * * *
Leaving the farm was the hardest thing Kimberly had ever done in her life. She didn’t think she would have the strength to do it. Not after the past night. Not after the realizations she had come to herself.
But she did it. She threw her suitcase into the SUV where Matthews sat waiting on her. The others had left hours before, eager to get back to the offices, file their reports and head into more adventurous assignments. Kimberly hadn’t been able to tear herself away as easily.
Jared stood behind her silently. He had watched her pack, his expression worn, his gaze turbulent. But he hadn’t made any demands, hadn’t asked for any promises, he was simply letting her go. Reluctantly, she could tell, but he was letting her go.
She turned back to him as she closed the rear door, staring up at him, realizing that the pain in her chest was more than just regret. It was a hollow, gaping wound she feared would never ease.
“Remember to let Mother know when you’re back in town,” he told her softly. “She worries, even if she never says anything. ”
Kimberly nodded, smiling though her heart was breaking. “First thing,” she agreed.
“And don’t drive too fast,” he growled. “Matthews told me you scared the hell out of him on the way up here. The man has a family to feed you know. Stop risking his life. ”
She would have laughed if it hadn’t hurt so damned bad.
“And remember, you always have a place to stay here,” he finished. “Anytime, Kimber. All the time. ”
She wanted to weep at the softness of his voice.
“Jared…” There was so much she wanted to say.
“No. ” He shook his head regretfully, reaching out to touch her cheek with a caress so light, so tender she felt it rock her soul. “Just remember that, baby. You know where I’m at if you need me. Always. ”
She had to look away from him or she would never hold back her tears. How was she walking away from him? She could feel everything inside her screaming out in rage that she would do so.
“Go,” he said then. “You’ll be late getting back if you don’t leave soon. ”
Her lips trembled as she turned back to him. She blinked fiercely to hold back her tears, fighting her head and her heart as she stared up at him.
She loved him. She could feel the emotion exploding within her, violently protesting the decision to leave, to stand firm to the vow she had made so long ago.
“I want…” He cut her words off, laying his fingers against her lips as he flinched slightly.
“Don’t, Kimber,” he whispered. “Don’t make letting you go impossible for me to do. Or for you to do. There’s always tomorrow. We aren’t saying goodbye, remember?”
She licked her lips, feeling her soul shatter. God help her. He loved her. She could see it in his eyes, in that crooked, pain-filled smile that was hers alone. It was hers alone because he loved her.
She was barely aware of the whimper that left her throat but there was no mistaking the strength, the need in his body as he jerked her against him, holding her tight to his chest, sheltering her with his big body as one hand held her head to him.
“Listen to me,” he growled fiercely. “You don’t have to say anything, Kimber. You don’t have to do anything. Come back when you need to. Know I’ll be here. That’s all. Damn you, this isn’t forever. I won’t let it be. ”
He pulled her head back, his fingers tangling in her hair, destroying the perfection of the intricate braid she had painstakingly worked the strands into. But she didn’t care. He was holding her, his lips were on hers, his tongue taking possession of her mouth, wiping away the destructive agony piercing her soul. It wasn’t goodbye. Not yet.
One hand gripped her hip, rocking her against his erection as his mouth ate at hers, his groan vibrating against her lips as the hunger that raged between them began to gnaw at her resolve.
“Damn, you’re going to send me up in flames right here in my driveway, woman. Is that any example for me to set for my work hands?” He dragged his lips from hers, a weary, entirely false spurt of laughter leaving his lips as he stared down at her. “I’m too old for this, baby. Now get out of here, so I can get some work done. ”
He stepped back from her, ripping her heart from her chest when he did so.
“Go on,” his voice softened as he nodded at the jeep. “I’ll see you soon. ”
She backed away. She couldn’t turn away from him.
“Soon?” She heard the desperate plea in her own voice.
“Very soon, baby,” he promised. “Anytime you need me. ”