His hands moved over me with maddening deliberation. His fingertips traced my shoulders, my belly, the curve of my hips, while I stood as still as I could manage. He cupped the heft of each of my breasts, squeezing and caressing them, then closed his fingers on my nipples until I gasped, pinching them even more brutally before letting them go. My pussy flooded with wetness for the things he was doing to me, and the thoughts he was making me think. He leaned down and breathed right against my neck, his rough cheek pressed to mine.
“Lucy. How do you feel?”
I swallowed. “I don’t know.”
“If you say ‘I don’t know’ to me again I’ll give you twenty with the cane. Think before you speak, and then answer. How do you feel?”
I might have sobbed then, one quick sob. “Exposed.”
“Do you feel like putting your clothes back on?”
I shook my head.
“Answer me, goddamn it.”
“No,” I said quickly.
He walked away from me, went back to the sofa, sat down and looked at me.
“Stand up straight. Unclench your hands. Look at me and listen.” I obeyed, my pulse pounding loud in my ears. I tried to relax, tried not to look scared.
“I want you to feel exposed, so if that’s how you feel, we’re off to a good start. You won’t wear clothes in this room. This is a room where I own you. When we’re in the confines of this room, you belong to me. If that’s not something you can agree with, you’re free to leave at any time. But I have to warn you, and I’m completely serious about this, if you ever leave this room before I’m finished with you, then you and I are done. Do you understand?”
“Yes.”
“As you see the walls are upholstered, and this is the basement of the house. It’s completely soundproof, so you can be as loud or as quiet as you like. I don’t really care if you scream or grit your teeth in silence. But I don’t use gags.”
I didn’t know what that meant, although he said it like it was important. I just stood silently, taking it all in.
“What you’ll need to remember and think of always, is that in this room, you exist for my use. You won’t have much cause to talk, but if I ask you a question, you’ll answer respectfully, using proper address. Do you know what proper address is?”
“Um...no.”
“Um is not proper address,” he frowned. “Shrugs, grunts, and headshakes are not proper address. Yes, sir or Yes, Matthew will suffice in the vast majority of situations. You will avoid using the word no, of course. You’ll do whatever I ask the moment I ask it of you and you won’t balk. If I don’t tell you what to do, you’ll stand or kneel and wait until I do. Do you understand?”
“Yes...sir.” The word sir felt strange on my lips. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d addressed any man as ‘sir,’ but it felt more appropriate than calling him Matthew at that point.
We were no longer equals, not now. He went on in his cool, authoritative voice.
“If you don’t please me for whatever reason, you’ll be punished and it will hurt very much.
Even if you please me, sometimes you’ll be punished because I’ll enjoy watching you endure it.
But I’ll never injure you and I won’t draw blood. Same thing when I fuck you, the same rules apply. It won’t always feel good, but I won’t injure you and I’ll never draw blood. Do you understand?”
Again, I whispered “Yes, sir.”
“We’ll use a safe word in the beginning, and that word will be ‘mercy.’ ‘Mercy’ makes it end. But I warn you, don’t dare use it unless you’re desperate. If I catch you using it when you don’t really need to, whatever punishment you were getting, I’ll visit it on you ten times worse. I don’t tolerate lying well, as I’ve told you, to include the misuse of safe words. Lying and hiding sends me into a fury. You won’t ever do either. Do you understand?”
“Yes, sir.”
“After our sessions I’ll expect you to sleep over. If you’re not to sleep over, I’ll have Davis drive you home. When we leave this room, our scenes will be over but your body will still be mine to use. The rules relax, but you’ll remain my submissive, and when I want you to take my cock, you will. And this will be our agreement, Lucy, until one or the other of us decides to terminate it.”
I took a deep breath. To terminate it. God.
He stood up and crossed to the armoire.
“But punishments will usually only take place down here. I’ve already shown you many of the things I’ll use to discipline you. As I’ve said, I can do whatever I want to you, and I will.
You’re permitted to feel all the pleasure you wish, whenever you wish, but you may only come with my permission. Do you know why?”
He looked at me. I swallowed the um that came to my lips and thought hard. “Because I can only do as I’m told?”
“Yes, that’s part of it. The other part of it is that you belong to me when we play. All of you.
Your body, your feelings. Even your thoughts. Sometimes I’ll ask for your thoughts, Lucy, and you’ll give them to me. I’ll ask for you to do things you don’t want to do and you’ll do them for me. And your pleasure, your orgasms...” He paused for effect. “Mine, not yours. Do you understand?”
“Yes, sir.”
I had understood submission on the surface, in the simplest form, but it was becoming clear to me that the submission Matthew expected was a lot more involved than it had been in my erotic dreams.
“The pleasure you feel will come at my hands always. You won’t touch yourself without my permission. Coming without my permission is a serious infraction, a punishable offense. To complicate matters,” he continued with a smile, “if I tell you to come, and you don’t, I’ll punish you for that as well.”
“But—” I clamped my mouth shut.
“Go on. If you have any questions, better to ask them now.”
“What if...what if I just can’t come?” Like most women, it was never a sure thing for me.
“Trust me, if you’re with me— with me, you understand—then you will. If you aren’t with me...if you aren’t giving yourself up to me, that’s your problem, your infraction, not mine.” He looked at me hard. “You see?”
“I think so. Yes, sir.”
As I said this, he lifted some nipple clamps from the armoire.
“Have you worn clamps before, Lucy?”
“Yes, once,” I admitted.
“By yourself, or with a lover?”
“By myself.”
“Did you like how it felt?”
I burned with embarrassment. “Yes. But I didn’t make them very tight,” I added as an afterthought.
That made him laugh. “Adjustable clamps. I don’t use those. Mine hurt. What about toys?
Have you ever worn a plug in your ass?”
“Yes, sir.” It was too humiliating.
“By yourself, or with a lover?”
“By myself,” I whispered. “I was curious.”
“Don’t be embarrassed. You’ll wear them all the time here. They’re excellent for keeping subs in the right headspace. Have you ever been spanked?”
“No. Well, just play stuff.”
“A hand?”
“Yes. And a hairbrush one time.”
“Your fiancé? You tried to clue him in, didn’t you?”
“Yes. But it didn’t really take.”
He put down the clamps and picked up one of the canes, a small whippy one, and walked over to me.
“Bend over.”
I hesitated. He looked at me hard. I wanted to obey, but...if I bent over, he would hit me. He would hit me. It would hurt. Maybe I wouldn’t be able to take the pain, and then...
“It’s scary, isn’t it, the first time?”
I nodded, and he nodded too.