“Just for now,” Finn says. “And when the summer comes around, we can break the news to her. It doesn’t have to be an out and out lie. We just let her finish the year’s study and give her that time to deal with the news. You two won’t be staying together anymore, which will make it easier.”
My heart sinks a little – how can it not? If we do this, there’s a good chance that Alex will forgive her father. Because he’s her father. But if we wait until we no longer live together, and then she gets mad at me, it’s likely that she will never end up forgiving me. Or at least, not so that we become best friends again.
I’ll lose her.
The thought fills me with dread, but then I look at Finn and I know I can’t do this any other way. As much as I love spending time with Alex, nothing I have ever experienced compares to how I feel about Finn.
And he’s right – she’ll be able to deal with the news better over the summer. Not to mention that we may not even last until then. Who knows what kind of flaws may come up in our relationship? I don’t want that to happen, but logically, I know that it’s possible. So, why risk losing Alex over something that may not even work out?
And just like that, I’ve managed to convince myself that this is the best option for all of us.
“Alright,” I say. “Just for now. I’ll keep us a secret.”
A flash of guilt runs through me. The thought of lying to Alex – starting as soon as I get back to the campus – makes me feel guilty as hell, actually. But, damn, I want him so much, and I love the way he’s looking at me right now. The way he always looks at me. I can’t get enough of it.
“Meet me tonight?” Finn asks, letting go of one of my hands to reach up and cup the side of my face.
“Yes,” I agree. “But where?”
“Somewhere more private, where we won’t be seen,” he says. His gaze never leaves my face, flicking between my eyes and my lips. “I know a club. I can get us a private room there. We can still enjoy a date, just without anyone else around.”
“Should I meet you there?” I ask. “If you pick me up again, she might see you.”
“Yes, but…” His thumb trails lightly across my lower lip, rough skin feeling like heaven against mine. “I’ll send a taxi for you. I don’t want you traveling on your own. It’s not safe.”
I almost want to laugh. “Getting the bus isn’t safe?”
“No,” he says, seriously. “Not getting the bus with strangers, or walking between places on your own. I don’t want any harm to come to you. Not even the slightest bit. I don’t even want you to be uncomfortable, not ever.”
He leans forward and kisses me gently, warmth spreading through my chest. When he offers to care for me like that, how can I put up a fight?
“Alright,” I say, looking at him through lowered lashes, made shy by the tenderness of his kiss. “Send a taxi. I’ll be waiting.”
And even as I get up to leave, I know it wouldn’t come quickly enough if he was to call me back before I make it down the street – because I want to spend every waking moment I have getting to know him.
Chapter Eighteen
Finn
I sit nervously in the private booth I booked for us, listening to the pounding music on the other side of the door. A door this time, not a curtain – because I wanted to be absolutely sure. Now I’m sitting waiting for Candy. The only reason I’m nervous is because I want to see her so badly – even the last few hours of separation felt like torture.
How can she have this claim on me, so quickly? I can’t get enough of her. I want her here, in my arms, as soon as possible. I want to touch her. I want so much more. I’m having a hard time reminding my inner caveman that I’m supposed to be taking it slow, making sure she’s comfortable because inside my head all I want to do is tear her clothes off the moment she steps inside the room.
And when she does, my heart nearly stops in my chest at the sight of the clothes she’s wearing.
“Hey,” she says, softly, biting her lower lip as the door closes behind her. This club is known for being tech-heavy, and no one should be able to open the door until our booked time is up or until we use the tablet on the table to make an order. For now, it’s just the two of us.