The place had once been one of our favorite spots to hit, and while I knew I’d likely come here on girl’s nights, it didn’t hold the same allure it always had. The pulsing lights, the writhing bodies on the dancefloor, the vibrations of base from the music pounding in my chest, the drinks that never ended at the bar. It all seemed like a past life, a scene for someone with way more energy than I currently had.
And that realization made me smile.
Because I was happy.
Sure, I was upset that I’d lost my mind on Warren, but I was happy. We were happy. We had a new life to take care of, to nurture, to give ourselves wholly to, and it was a damn gift that we had this chance.
Why had I let fear keep me from telling him I loved him? I should’ve told him the minute I realized it. Should’ve let him know he owned my heart. My soul. He’d given me the most beautiful gift with our child, something I never knew I desperately needed until I had it. And I would always be grateful to him for that.
I moved through the crowded club, my eyes scanning for his sculpted body, that handsome face, those deep eyes. Where was he? Now that I was ready to pour my heart out to him, it was like I’d combust if I didn’t do it soon.
Apologize first.
Right.
Apologize first then tell him I loved him.
God, I’d made a fool of myself. And I knew it wouldn’t be the last, either. But I wanted him. I wanted a future with the three of us. He needed to know that, understand that I wasn’t a crazy bitch that was using him.
I turned a corner, my heart full but my nerves frayed, and stopped dead in my tracks.
Warren.
He leaned against a thick black pillar that held up the balcony Bailey had mentioned earlier. A gorgeous brunette stood in front of him, her arm on one side of the pillar, a drink in her other hand. The same bunny from the picture. They looked familiar with each other. They spoke easily, freely, and there wasn’t even a hint of him pushing her away.
As if he could feel my heart break, his eyes moved past the beautiful woman and widened when he caught my gaze.
I glanced down, only now realizing I’d shown up to Phantom in fucking yoga pants, a spit-up stained t-shirt, and my hair in a top-knot. I hadn’t wanted to risk waking Katherine to change.
God, I looked like roadkill compared to the woman in the mini-skirt before him. A year ago, that could’ve been me…was me. And now?
I was a fucking moron for thinking he wanted this life. A life where he came home to a madwoman in shambles, completely coming apart at the seams from the task of trying to be the best mom in the world.
I backed up a few steps as he came toward me, calling my name.
I spun around and ran out of the club, gripping my chest like I could hold my heart together.
“Nine!” He called as I bolted toward my car parked across the street.
Tears streamed down my cheeks, and I cursed the hormones that had turned my normally steely self into a weeping woman.
“Jeannine!” He grabbed my elbow, finally catching up to me when I’d reached my car, and spun me around. “What are you doing here?”
“Me?” I snapped, my entire body trembling with adrenaline. “I came here to apologize to you. To explain why I lost my damn mind. What the hell are you doing, Warren?”
“Me and Gage were just having a drink.”
I scoffed. “I didn’t see Gage anywhere.”
He growled. “That girl—”
“Don’t,” I cut him off, swiping at the tears underneath my eyes. “Spare me, Warren. I know it’s been over a month since we’ve fucked. You obviously got tired of waiting for me to heal. And why not? I went off on you like a crazy chick, so might as well come here looking for a piece of easy.”
“That’s not how it is and you know it!”
I jerked out of his touch. “Do I?” I shook my head. “God, Warren it’s only been a few months! How the hell am I supposed to know if we’re it? Huh? If this was supposed to be more…”
“It was! It is!” His voice cracked. “Just let me explain—”
“No,” I said, stopping him. A cold brick wall formed around my shattered heart, cursing me for giving it to him. “You know what, I’m done. I get it. You wanted to be part of Katherine’s life and now you are. It was simply a bonus to make me fall in love with you, huh? That way I’d give you whatever you wanted.”
He flinched. “Nine, don’t. I love—”
“Save it.” I snapped. “You wouldn’t be here looking for easy if you did.” I flung open my car door and sank inside. He stopped me from shutting it. “Don’t worry,” I said through my tears. “We’ll be gone by the time you get back.”
Warren went three shades of white and stumbled back like I’d punched him in the chest. I slammed the door shut, and sped out of the lot so fast I was surprised I didn’t get a ticket.
The closer I got to home…to Warren’s home, the more I crumbled. I’d been a fool to think I could have it all, but I guess it was better to know now.
Before anyone else could get hurt.
Chapter 16
Warren
All the air sucked from my lungs like I stood in the middle of a vacuum, not a fucking parking lot.
I gaped at the spot where Jeannine had just been, where she’d just sped away from me.
We’ll be gone when you get back.
The words sliced through my chest like razorblades.
How had today gone past the point of fucked up?
Where had I gone wrong?
The ring box called to me from my pocket, begging me to rush home. Catch her before she could leave and show her what she meant to me.
But the other part of me? The one that was breaking inside…it froze me. The ice-cold fear thrumming through my veins only propelled me back into Phantom not away from it.
What if all this—Jeannine’s anger and fear—was a way to cut ties between us? What if she finally realized that being with a Shark isn’t what she wanted for herself, or Katherine.
Katherine.
My baby girl.
Fuck, I’d already let her down.
“Warren, man, what the hell was that?” Gage asked, glancing over my shoulder like he was looking for Nine.
“She wouldn’t let me explain,” I said, my tone almost too low to be heard over the pulsing music.
Fuck, why was I here?
She’d told me to leave. So I called Gage and he suggested a drink at our favorite spot. It seemed innocent enough, but then—
“There you are,” Shay said, swishing back over to me. Just like she’d done a few minutes ago, spouting off score stats from last season like we were the oldest friends. I’d tried to be cordial, tried, once again, to shut her down nicely, but she hadn’t listened. “You ran off so fast we didn’t get a chance to talk about—”
“Stop,” I cut her off, blocking the hand that reached for me again. “God damn it, I’m not some piece of meat you can put your hands on whenever you want.”
Her eyes bulged, shock filtering across her face.
“I’m not interested,” I said as clearly as I could. “I’ve tried to be nice, but you won’t let up. Leave. Me. The fuck. Alone. I’m taken.”
Her lips parted, her eyes shifting to anger. “You could’ve just said so. You don’t have to be a dick about it.” She rolled her eyes before clicking away on her heels, deeper into the club.
“Fuck,” Gage said.
“I know,” I said, rubbing my palms over my face. “I shouldn’t have done that. It’ll be all over the web tomorrow. But I don’t give a shit, Gage. Nine saw me with her and thought I wanted my old life back. Thought that I could possibly choose that life over her.”
“Shit.”
“Exactly.”
“Why are you still here? Go talk to her.”
“She wouldn’t let me explain. For the second time today.” I sighed. “I think she’s trying to end things.” I shook my head. “She doesn’t want this life.”
/> “You don’t have a clue what she wants because you won’t talk to her about it.”
“Who would want this? Bunnies and clubs and a constant stream of rumors you never know are true or not? Games and travel and—”
“Stop doing this to yourself, Warren.” Gage cut me off. “I know you think you don’t deserve her. Don’t deserve the life that’s been gift-wrapped for you with her and Katherine, but you do.”
Numb.
It spread over me, silencing the roar in my chest, sliding a balm over the sting from the cut.
“Maybe she’s better off this way.”
“Maybe,” Gage said. “But you won’t know until you man up and talk to her. Make her listen to you.” He clapped me on the shoulder. “This is a shit show, but we make it work. You’ve seen me, Rory. We make it work. And it is all worth it.”
Something clicked in my brain, my mind finally catching up and restarting my body.
“I’ve got to go.”
“Finally,” he said. “I’ll head home in case she went there, but I’ll call Rory on the way to check there, too.”
“Thanks, man!” I called over my shoulder as I raced out of the club. It was agony waiting for the valet to bring my SUV around, but after six minutes I was finally behind the wheel.
I tried to call her as I drove, but her cell went straight to voicemail every single time.
“Damn it, Nine!” I growled, the numbness gone, replaced with a sizzling anger I usually kept on the ice.
Anger at myself, for not telling her I loved her sooner.
Anger at thinking I wasn’t good enough for either of them.