“And now that she’s here? What are we?”
“Everything!” I couldn’t contain my shout.
A wail ripped through the house, searing each of my nerve-endings.
“Oh, fucking perfect!” She yelled back. “Why’d you even bother coming home?”
I gaped at her, my chest feeling like she’d taken a fucking sledgehammer to it.
“Nine,” I said, the air sucked from my lungs. “Tell me what to do to fix this.” I knew she was over-tired, knew she’d been bottling something up for far too long and it was unleashed on me, but holy fucking hell I didn’t know what to do.
“Leave,” she hissed. “It’s what you want to do. It’s what you were always going to do.”
I stumbled back like she’d punched me.
Where was this coming from?
She swiped at her tears before spinning on her bare feet, and rushed to our room. Katherine quieted after a few moments.
She’d kicked me out.
She didn’t want me.
Want a life chained to a Shark.
One step back, then two, I made it to the garage, got in my SUV, and drove away.
Away from my home.
Away from my world.
Not having a fucking clue what had just happened, but feeling a hell of a lot like I’d just been part of a blast set to kill me.
Chapter 15
Jeannine
The picture.
It was the picture’s fault.
Sometimes I wished my cell didn’t have internet.
Normally, it was a godsend while I fed Katherine. I could catch up on the news or read food blogs while she ate.
But earlier…I’d seen a picture of Warren and some random puck bunny, her hands all over his chest.
And something inside me snapped.
The loving energy that had buzzed in my soul clamped down, draining me more than the lack of sleep I’d had the past few weeks.
“What?” Paige and Bailey asked over the phone as I explained to them.
“Hold on,” Bailey said. “Let me find the photo.”
“Same,” Paige said.
“Why does it matter?” I asked, rubbing my forehead while I held the phone to my ear. I’d called them in a panic after I’d gotten Katherine back down. After I came out of the bedroom and found the house empty.
He actually left.
I asked him to, but he actually left.
After a few seconds, I heard Paige sigh. “Oh, Nine,” she said.
“Um,” Bailey said.
“Right?” I sank into the kitchen nook’s chair. “His first moment of freedom today and he runs back to his old ways.” And despite being absolutely crushed, despite being horribly angry at myself for allowing myself to get hurt, I almost couldn’t blame him.
“We never defined…us,” I continued. Never had the big talk on what we meant to each other, but I swore I’d known. Felt it in my bones like truth. I’d been so wrong. “But I never expected him to do that. To go back to the playboy life without even giving me a heads up about it.”
“No, Nine,” Paige said. “You don’t understand. He didn’t.”
“Agreed,” Bailey said.
“How can you two say that? Look at the way she’s touching him!”
“I’m coming over,” Bailey said and hung up before I could argue.
“I have a meeting in an hour,” Paige said. “But listen to me, okay? Please? I know you’re exhausted and in such a vulnerable place right now. A situation you’ve never been in before, but he didn’t do anything. I know for a fact.”
“How?” Betraying hope snaked into my veins, warming me, calming me.
“One, because Rory told me exactly what they did today, and I know when he’s lying.” She grew quiet for a moment like she was paying attention to something on the other end of the line. “And two, that’s Rory and Gage in the corner of the photo. Rory wore that shirt weeks ago after a pick-up game. I’m pretty sure he even mentioned the chick when he got home. Something about the bunnies coming out early this year or something. Wanted to warn me about it after all the trouble we had with Linda.”
“Oh, holy hell,” I said, my head sinking into my free hand. “He didn’t rush out to his old life today?”
“No, Nine, he really didn’t.”
“What was he doing?”
“I can’t tell you that. I can only tell you that he wasn’t anywhere near a bunny, and I honestly don’t think this picture proves anything more than the paparazzi drumming up gossip on a slow news day.”
“Shit. Shit. Shit.”
“It’s okay,” she said. “It happens to each of us. The first time you deal with this kind of b.s., it’s tough. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
I went off on him.
Like mad-woman send me to the crazy house off on him.
I’d spewed every dark fear I’d ever had about loving him, right in his face. Accused him of wanting to leave us, just like I was terrified he’d always do.
Hockey first. Baby second. Me last.
I heard a car door shut outside, and for half a second I hoped it was him, but a knock on the door told me otherwise. “Bailey’s here, Paige. I’ll call you later.” I sighed. “And thank you. Sorry for all the crazy.”
“You’re not crazy. And it will work out. I love you,” she said.
“Love you, too,” I said before hanging up.
I let Bailey inside, and she immediately hugged me before taking a seat across from me at the kitchen table.
“I’m such an idiot!” I snapped.
I needed to apologize to Warren. See if I could make him understand why I’d lost it.
“No, you’re not,” she said, setting her bag on the table. “This happens. This is what it’s like when you’re dating a Shark.”
“I don’t even know if we’re technically dating,” I said, pinching the bridge of my nose. “I’m so clueless about everything right now.” Being a mom was the hardest thing I’d ever done, and with all the worry and strain of adjusting to my new role, I felt absolutely uncertain about everything else. I doubt I could even cook my signature dish properly right now if someone asked me to.
“Then I think it’s time you go find out,” she said. “You have bottles pumped?”
“Yes,” I said. “Why?”
“Go find him.
“How?” I shook my head. “And where is Ethan?” I asked, noting the absence of the baby on her hip.
“Grammy has them both tonight.”
“Okay,” I said. “And why would Warren listen to me? I shouldn’t have reacted that way. I was just…the day was so long, and Kat cried the whole time, and I don’t think there could be one more drop of stress in my body right now, Bailey.” I sighed. “I blew up.”
“I know,” she said, her eyes sympathetic. “And it’s totally understandable. You’re going through one of the biggest phases in your life right now. You’re allowed mistakes.”
“This one feels huge.”
/>
“He’ll understand. Just go talk to him.”
“Do you know where he went?”
“Gage headed to Phantom like two minutes before you called. Said Warren needed a drink.” Bailey glanced at the video monitor that showed a sleeping Katherine in our bedroom. “He’s likely blowing off the steam from the fight.”
“Yeah,” I said. “Or he’s talking to the guys about the best way to get rid of me.”
“Oh, stop it,” Bailey said. “He wouldn’t do that. It’s just a fight.”
“Is it?” I asked, shaking my head. “I lost my mind over nothing,” I said. “It was like I wasn’t even there. It was someone else. Some crazy, sleep and sex deprived woman. Not me.”
“Isn’t your time up?” She asked.
“Today.” I pinched the bridge of my nose. “We were supposed to be able to try again today.”
“See,” she said, smiling. “There you go. Go get him, take him up to the balcony, and fuck his brains out. All will be well.”
My eyes flew wide at her suggestion. “Who are you and what have you done with Bailey?”
She laughed. “Maybe your dirty-girl mission rubbed off on me.”
I chuckled, using the lightness to ease the worry in my chest. “What if I blew it? What if I lost him?”
She gripped my shoulders. “You didn’t. This is how life with a baby works. Craziness and passion and fights and making up. It’ll be okay. Just go get him.”
“Thank you,” I said, walking toward the door. “Seriously. I don’t know what I’d do without you and Paige.”
“Same.”
“There is pumped milk in the fridge and bottles in the top right cabinet,” I said, my hand on the knob. “But she shouldn’t wake up before I get back. We get back…” my voice trailed off as I wondered if he’d even want me to chase after him. Or if he needed his space.
“We’ll be fine here. Take your time. Go.”
“I love you,” I said and wished it could be as easy to say the words to Warren.
“Love you, too. Go!”
I shut the door behind me and tried not to speed as I drove toward Phantom.
Fifteen minutes later and my hands were shaking as I entered the club.