Because he cared about Serena, he was going to leave her.
Somewhere in that small town in Kansas where she lived was some guy who'd make her happy. Not a used up, cynical, down on love writer like him. He could never give her what she needed.
But until the day he died he'd remember the words she'd uttered after they'd made love. And he'd hold them tight, knowing they were the last words of love anyone would say to him.
She was on the balcony, the vision of her so similar to the one he'd seen that first day. The clothes were different, though. Gone was the dowdy, plain, blousy outfit she'd worn that day they'd met. Instead she wore little black capris, sandals, and a white tube top. Her long hair fell in a single braid down the middle of her back.
When she turned to him and smiled, his heart stopped. He shook his head and smiled back, knowing a day wouldn't go by that he wouldn't think of her and remember her smile, her sweet smell, those green eyes that could light up his heart, and a body he could never tire of.
"You all packed?" she asked.
He nodded. "How about you?"
"Yes."
"When does the new semester begin?" Maybe idle chit chat would pass the time until their departure, force him to think about other things than how much he was going to miss her.
"In three weeks."
He nodded.
"When will you start on your book?"
He shrugged and smiled. "I don't have deadlines. When the impetus strikes I'll crank it out in a month or so."
"Good."
The silence stretched between them, awkward and uncomfortable.
She turned to view the ocean. "I'll miss this place."
"Me too." He'd miss her more. But he wasn't going to say it. Couldn't say it. He wouldn't give her, or him for that matter, unrealistic hope.
"I had a great time, Michael. Thank you for making this an unforgettable experience for me."
He pulled a stray hair away from her face and tucked it behind her ear. "Believe me, Serena, it was my pleasure."
Without hesitation she stepped towards him. He folded his arms around her and rested his chin on her head, trying like hell to keep from begging her to come to California with him.
Which would be a colossal mistake, and would ruin her life.
They separated at the knock on the door. The bellman retrieved their suitcases and told them the shuttle to the airport on the other side of the island was waiting downstairs.
It was better this way, he thought as they followed the bellman downstairs. Better now than three or four months from now when they'd both realize the error they'd made.
This was the best time to say goodbye.
*
Serena tapped her pencil on the stack on her desk, slipped on her glasses and dug into the pile. Her office looked like a train wreck.
First week of the new semester and she was deluged with paperwork already. Not that she cared. She'd been listless and completely uninterested in anything around her since she'd gotten back from Paradise Resort.
She and Michael had said awkward goodbyes at the airport. A hug, a quick kiss, good luck in the future and that was it. He had walked out of her life forever.
And probably hadn't given her a second thought. Which irritated the hell out of her, much to her surprise.
She was unforgettable. She was worthy of a man who would traverse the ends of the earth for her. And if Michael Donovan couldn't see that, he could kiss her well-tanned ass.
A little righteous indignation and anger went a long way to soothe a broken heart. It was almost working.
Almost.
In the past month, she'd progressed from thinking about him twenty-four hours a day to merely twenty-two now. She was definitely making headway in that department.
She'd made headway in a lot of areas. Mainly, she refused to hide who she was any longer. Even the men around campus had started to notice her. Most likely due to the fact that she'd tossed out her frumpy clothes and bought some that fit. Stylish, trendy, a tad bit sexy.
She inhaled, enjoying the feel of the satin chemise that slid against her nipples. One of her many new purchases. Along with the black suit she wore today, with its short skirt and fitted jacket. And the to die for pumps that were just a little bit naughty.
Why not? She'd learned a lot about herself at Paradise, and one of the most important things she'd discovered was her sensuality. She was a healthy sexual being. With normal needs and urges that weren't bizarre or unnatural. And some day she'd find a man whose sexual tastes matched her own.
In the meantime, she'd just let them all see how she'd come to life on vacation. And if one of them were ballsy enough to ask her out, then she'd just see what happened.
Right. When hell froze over. The problem was, they might be interested in her, but she wasn't interested in them.
Most likely she never would be. For every time another man would want to touch her, kiss her or make love to her, a tall, tanned hunk with sapphire eyes and a body to die for would cloud her vision.
Face it, Serena. You're fucked. And not in a good way. The man she wanted, the one she loved, was two thousand miles away, living his California life with a bevy of fashion models, and probably hadn't thought about her for one second since they parted ways over a month ago.
"You're all I've thought about for the past month."
Yeah right, she thought, mentally tamping down his voice which permeated her every thought.
"You look gorgeous."
The pencil stilled in her hand and her heart slammed against her chest. No. It couldn't be.
She slipped off her glasses and looked up.
There, leaning in her doorway, looking tanned and handsome in jeans and a white polo shirt, was Michael.
Unable to catch her breath, she couldn't speak. Her legs shook so bad she couldn't stand.
He arched a brow. "Cat got your tongue, Professor?"
"Uh, uh, uh." Brilliant conversation there, Serena. "What...what are you doing here?"
With a grin he pushed off from the doorway and walked in the room, then sat on the edge of her desk.
She inhaled his clean, crisp scent which almost brought her to tears. God, she'd missed his smell.
"I had to meet with my editor in New York, so I took a little detour."
"Kansas is quite a detour."
He looked around. "It's a nice detour. Quaint little town."
She snorted. "Yeah, right." He was probably laughing at her quaint little town.
"I'm serious. This is a great place. Talk about a slice of Americana. Reminds me of where I grew up in central California."