I looked around at all the people rushing past me and grinned at my private secret.
I spent the rest of the day shopping, silently thrilled at my secret adventure, my body tingling with pleasure as Bear’s face stayed front and center in my mind with each step, thanks to the plug.
By the time I made it back home to my apartment, I was exhausted and I’d put a serious dent in Bear’s credit card.
I’d had five separate orgasms, in five separate dressing rooms.
Trying on clothes had never felt so fucking good.
Chapter 10
The view from my terrace was stunning. I sat at the little table out there, sipping wine and staring down at the tops of the trees in Central Park. Lights glittered around the city, sparkling like little diamonds adorning all the shops and cars and buildings. My neighborhood was bustling with activity and the energy that sizzled through it was exciting, but exhausting at the same time.
Bear was picking me up in an hour for our date and I was incredibly nervous. All of our interactions up till now had been quick and rushed. Sitting down with him over dinner was going to be a completely different experience. It would be intimate, in an entirely different way than having sex with him had been.
He’d texted me shortly after I’d gotten home today, giving me permission to remove the plug. I’d been so relived after wandering around with it all day and wondering just how long he would force me to wear it. Getting it out proved to be an adventure all its own but I’d finally succeeded after a few bungled attempts.
I’d gotten so excited taking it out, that I’d collapsed on my bed afterwards, my fingers bringing me to orgasm again. I’d been coming all day.
It was all too much. Too much physically, too much mentally. He’d managed to mind fuck me all day and he wasn’t even there.
It was the most erotic thing I’d ever experienced. He’d crawled into my mind without me realizing it.
And yet, here I was, still going along with his games like an obedient puppy. If I had a tail, I’d be wagging it just as excitedly as any puppy would be, too.
It was obvious that Bear loved games. And now, it was apparent that I loved Bear’s games just as much. The fact that he’d warned me that we were just getting started only added to the excitement.
I took a sip of my wine, the ruby liquid doing nothing to quell the nervousness running through my veins as I tried to imagine what Bear had in store for us tonight. Somehow, I knew he wasn’t going to just stop at having a nice dinner together. So far, he’d been full of surprises at every turn.
My phone buzzed and I glanced down, sighing when I saw it was my Mother calling. I’d managed to get through the entire day without talking to her.
“Hey, Mom,” I answered.
“Chloe, how was your day?” she asked.
“It was okay,” I said, glad she wasn’t here to see the blush that crept up my neck.
“What did you do?” she asked.
“Just a little shopping. What did you do?”
“I had the longest meeting of my life with the Board of Directors. Then, I went back to the office and met with my assistant for the rest of the afternoon to get things in order for the rest of the week. I’m giving a presentation on my proposals for the company on Friday. It’s going to be a long, busy week.”
“Sounds like you’re right in your element,” I replied.
“That’s true,” she laughed. “I loved every minute of it.”
“I’m glad you’re happy, Mom,” I said.
“I am. Although, I have to admit, I’m not really happy with our living situation. It would have been much better to come home to you.”
“I like my apartment. It’s best we have our own space, Mom,” I replied.
“I suppose so,” she sighed. “But we have to promise to see each other as often as possible, okay?”
“Sure,” I replied.
“How about tonight? Let’s go find someplace to have dinner.”
“Oh, I can’t, Mom,” I replied. “I’m having dinner with Bear.”
“With Bear?” she replied. I could almost see her eyebrow raise through the phone.
“Yes, um…,” I hesitated. “To talk about the position he has for me,” I lied. The only positions I expected Bear to have for me included missionary and doggie.
“Oh, I see,” she said. “Well, that’s good. I hope it’s something where you can use that degree of yours. I’d hate to see your talents go to waste.”
“I wouldn’t worry, Mom,” I replied, blushing again as I thought about the new talents I was acquiring. Not everyone has the skills to wear a butt plug all day and I figured that had to count for something valuable later in life. “It’s not like I’m going to work for him forever, whatever it is.”
“That’s true. It’s good not to get complacent, Chloe. You need variety in your life. But at the same time, Dalton Enterprises is a wonderful company to work for. Bear’s very generous. I’m sure he’ll give you the biggest benefit package he has.”
I spat out the wine I’d just sipped into my mouth and began coughing.
“Are you okay?” Mom asked. “Chloe?”
“I’m okay, Mom, sorry,” I replied finally. “I should go get ready.”
Suddenly, I couldn’t handle talking to her anymore. Her questions, her talk of benefits packages—if she kept it up, she’d figure everything out very quickly. She was like that. That’s why she’d come so far in her career—her instincts were fine-tuned and cat-like and she didn’t miss a thing.
Being a teenager around her was a nightmare. Keeping secrets was out of the question. Now that I was an adult, the last thing I wanted was for her to figure out that I’m fucking her boss.
She would not be happy, not by a long shot. In fact, she’d be mortified.
I had to keep it together, for both of our sake’s.
“Alright, dear, have a nice night. Let me know what kind of a job he gives you. Maybe we’ll end up working together?”
“Okay, Mom, I will. Good night,” I said, hanging up the phone with a sigh of relief.
I walked back in the apartment, turning on some music and pouring another glass of wine, before heading back to my bedroom.
I’d left all my purchases lying on the bed and as I sorted through them now, hanging the dresses and suits up in my closet and putting the delicate lingerie in the dresser, I imagined wearing all of this for Bear. I wanted to make him happy.
Bear had told me not to buy panties, but I had anyway. I couldn’t endure an entire New York winter without wearing underwear, for fuck’s sake.
After putting everything away, I put hot rollers in my hair and applied my make-up, my body finally beginning to relax a little with the wine. I needed it. I’d been on edge for days, unable to shake the feeling of being completely unsettled and disoriented.
It was like aliens had beamed me up and plopped me down on a different planet.
I didn’t know this life. I didn’t know this woman in the mirror, in fact.
I’d grown up doing my part to fight the patriarchy, a fierce feminist throwing up my fist with my fellow sisters. I’d marched in countless protests, fighting the powers that threatened to oppress us, which mostly was made up of old, white men. In fact, I didn’t shave my legs the entire year after I turned eighteen; a silent, personal protest against the forced feminization of women. And I’d stopped wearing bras the year after that.
And now, here I was, subserviently obeying a domineering man like a goddamned Stepford wife and loving every fucking second of it.
Who was I? Where was the Chloe I thought I was? How could I have allowed Bear to have so much power over me?
Was I losing myself? Or, had I just finally found myself?
I was getting used to the constant questions swimming in my head. I was getting used to not having any answers to them, too. The confusion had become a permanent resident in my head, but maybe tonight I’d finally be able to break through them.
Bear t
old me at his office that I could ask him anything I wanted and I was looking forward to our question and answer session.
By the time my doorbell rang, I wasn’t sure I wanted answers. Not knowing what was going on created an air of mystery to everything that had left me excited. Turned out, anticipation and adventure turned me on and I didn’t even know it.
Maybe I was finding myself after all.
Maybe Bear was right about me.
I opened the door and damn near swooned when I saw him.
He was dressed in a sleek, black tailored suit, his hair slicked back and his dark blue eyes were shimmering with life.
“Hello, Beauty,” he said, planting a kiss on my cheek.
“Hi,” I replied, a jolt of shyness washing over me. I lifted my chin, determined to keep the shy, naive Chloe at bay tonight. I wanted to project the sophisticated, daring, mature Chloe instead.
I wanted to impress him.
“Would you like to come in?” I asked.
“My driver is double-parked. If you’re ready, we should get going.”
I pushed away a twinge of disappointment and nodded and smiled. He’d fucked me right away the last two times I’d seen him, so I just assumed he would do that again.
I guess this was a real date, after all.
“I’m ready,” I replied. I grabbed my purse and keys, locked up the apartment and walked to the elevator with him. After a silent ride down to the street, he whisked me into the back of the limo.
“Would you like a drink?” he asked, the bright lights of the city swirling around us reflected in his eyes. I’d already had two glasses of wine to calm my nerves earlier and I was a light weight when it came to alcohol. I could hear Marie’s warning in my head, my usual drinking partner.
“There’s a reason we call you two-drink Chloe,” she’d say. I pushed her voice away and smiled. The nerves were too much. This was definitely a three-drink night.
“Wine, please,” I said, having the good sense not to mix the wine with anything else.
He poured me a glass and handed it to me and I did my best to sip it slowly. Taking deep breaths between each sip, I smiled over at him.
“How was shopping?” he asked.
“Max took me to Bergdorf’s,” I replied. “It was a lot of fun.”