Shit, I really need better security with something this expensive in here.
Once they were gone, I lifted the phone back to my ear and sat on my secondhand couch to get a closer look at the reptile. “You’ve got to see this thing. It’s unbelievable. Do you treat all of your boyfriends this well?” As soon as the question was out of my mouth, I cringed. I didn’t actually want to know about anyone else Salvatore had been with, but I was curious. Or maybe I just wanted to feel like someone special to him.
“I don’t do boyfriends,” Salvatore said.
“You’ve never had a boyfriend…ever?”
There was a long silence before he answered. “I did in high school, but no one since.”
“And it was enough to scare you off from relationships for the rest of your life?” I joked.
“Yes.”
That was all he said, and I felt like I’d just accidentally stumbled into forbidden territory. “Okay…”
Salvatore cleared his throat. “And what about you? Any…lovers, boyfriends, or girlfriends I need to talk to?”
“Talk to?” I said, chuckling. “What would you talk to them about?”
“Ah, so there are boyfriends…”
“What? No, I didn’t say that. I mean…” I bit my lip, not wanting to admit my love life had been more than a little lackluster. Lovers? Few and far between. The relationship stuff? Never. “I’ve never had a boyfriend. Or a girlfriend.”
“But you’d like that.” He didn’t phrase it as a question, but as an observation.
“I suppose I would. I haven’t really thought about it before now because I’ve been so busy, but I guess if the right person came along…”
“And is that what you think I am? The right person?”
“Uh…” My first instinct was to say yes. That I wanted him to be, even though I knew it was laughable and I was nowhere near on his level. But kids grew up with fairy tales in their heads, and so far Salvatore seemed like a page ripped from one of those books, so why not? Why not pretend this was my very own fairy tale come true?
When I didn’t answer, what sounded like a low growl came through the phone.
“Be careful thinking of me that way, Jesse,” Salvatore said, his voice full of gravel. “I’m no knight in shining armor.”
I rocked back in the chair behind the desk in my home study and waited for my words to sink in. It needed to be crystal clear exactly what this arrangement was to me. I didn’t want Jesse building any hopes and dreams on the promise of me being someone I wasn’t. That wasn’t what this was about.
This was about want. This was about desire. It was about feeding a craving he had provoked in me after I had buried it for so many years.
I stared at the photograph in my hand and sat forward, resting my forearms on the desk as I studied the two boys that had been captured in it years ago—the original lamb, and the same Wolfe.
“Oh, I didn’t mean that,” Jesse said, and a nervous laugh followed. “Not that you’re wrong in any way. You’re actually pretty right in every way, but I mean, in general. Not for me, like, as a boyfriend. I wasn’t over here thinking about that or picking out matching his-and-his towels or anything, and, umm… I’m going to shut up now.”
A smile crept across my lips at Jesse’s rambling. “Don’t do that. This has been rather…amusing.”
“Awesome. Now I’m amusing.”
“Is there something wrong with that?”
“Well, no, but I’d rather be—”
“Jesse?”
“Yes?”
My cock reacted to his immediate response. “What did I tell you last night about lying to me?” I heard him suck in a breath at the reminder of the museum, and when he said nothing, I said, “What did I say, Jesse?”
“You said never to lie to you.”
As his hushed voice filtered into my ear, I stroked my finger over the image I held in my hand. Two boys. One light. One dark. And I remembered a time when lies had ruined my life.
“That’s right. So what’s wrong with me finding this exchange amusing?”
Jesse sighed. “Ugh, you know, that rule just makes me have to do and say things that are embarrassing.”
“Is what you’re thinking embarrassing?”
“It is if I have to say it out loud.”
The indignant way he said that made me more determined than ever. “Nothing you say can shock me. You do know that, right? And I’m not going to ask you again.”
“Fine. But just know, I’m only saying this because you bought me a dinosaur.”
“Duly noted.”
“I just wish you found me, like, sexy…not funny.”
I placed the photo down on the desk and picked up the remote. Pivoting in my chair until I faced the wall of screens behind me, I hit the on button and stared up at the images of Jesse. “You don’t think I find you sexy?”