Sincerely,
Faithfully,
Lovingly and desperately,
Rose Leblanc-Cole
My hands shook so hard, I had to drop the letter because the words became fuzzy.
Mom did this. She’d invited Dixie. She’d thrust her into my life.
This wasn’t betrayal. My seeing Dixie was following Mom’s wish. She’d wanted me to bond with this chick. This chick, who didn’t want anything to do with me, but somehow found the strength to do something good for a woman she didn’t know. Pay back a favor. I guessed I should be angry—angry that Dixie didn’t want to see pictures of me, didn’t want to make an effort or stake her claim on my ass.
But I wasn’t.
Honestly, I thought she was a badass for doing something this selfless for Rosie, even though she didn’t want to. She did this for my mom, whom I loved dearly. Besides, it didn’t matter what had brought Dixie here. She hadn’t quit at the first sign of me giving her shit. No. She’d stayed.
Stayed while I was an insufferable dick to her.
Stayed through my addiction. Ghosted phone calls. The breakdowns. The tears. The death.
She stayed even after Dad had told her to fuck off, and I’d cemented the sentiment by coming here and seeing her ass out myself.
Whoever this woman who gave birth to me was, she wasn’t the selfish witch I’d believed her to be.
I picked up the letter from the ground and handed it back to her, searching for the right words, yet somehow knowing they didn’t exist.
“Okay,” I said finally. Yup. Pretty far from being the right word, dipshit.
“Okay?” She tucked her chin to her chest, examining my face in my periphery.
“You really wanna stay?” I shrugged, aiming for nonchalance.
My heart beat wildly in my chest. Goddammit, Mom. Looking out for us, even from the grave. I somehow knew she would, knew there were a lot more surprises with her in them waiting for me down the line. That it was never really going to be over between us.
Guess Mom was like Luna in a lot of ways. We would always be unfinished business. She’d made sure of it.
“Yes,” Dixie croaked. “I have a good job back home. My family has money. But I want to stay here, with you. I want to get to know you. Rosie wasn’t exaggerating. You’re amazing, and you’re mine. I want to know the entire Cole clan.”
I side-eyed her, hard. She shook her head, sniffing and wiping her tears with her thumbs.
“Not like that. Oh, God. Never. I haven’t even…I’ve never…”
Her blush could start a fire. Was she a virgin? I mean, obviously not, she’d had me, but had there been anyone else since the night I was conceived?
“I’ve never had a partner.” She answered my unvoiced question. “I’m not planning on having one, either. I just want to return a favor to Rosie. She trusted me so much, she paid for my accommodation here. She even gave me access to your gated community. But, more selfishly, I want to gain a son. If you’ll have me, of course.”
If I would have her.
Should I have her?
That was the million-dollar question. Because if I was going to let her up and leave everything she knew and move here, I needed to be damn sure I wasn’t going to bail on her ass when things got tough.
“I have a test for you.” I stood up, folding my arms over my chest.
She followed suit, darting to her feet. I tossed the empty slushie cup into a trash can a few feet away without even looking, my eyes still on hers.
Her throat bobbed. “I’m listening.”
“It’s about Luna.”
“Your girlfriend?” she interjected.
She was already doing a great job being a nosy mother. I started strolling along the promenade, and she matched my step, hurrying beside me.
“No, she is not my girlfriend anymore. She broke up with me.”
“Why?” Dixie asked breathlessly.
“Because I was an abusive, drunk idiot. Actually, I was being a real jerk to a lot of people. I hurt another girl trying to get back at Luna.”
“What do you mean, hurt?” Her voice caught in her throat.
I immediately knew what she was worried about. I stopped, putting a hand on her shoulder. Surprisingly, she melted under my touch, the worry evaporating from the creases on her face.
“No, Dixie. Nothing like that. I kind of toyed with Poppy’s feelings, but she pushed hard to stay with me. I didn’t even want to sleep with her, though she wanted us to. So yeah, I hurt her, but not physically.”
“Okay.” She nodded. “Continue.”
“Anyway, so Luna dumped my ass. She told me she’d revisit the subject of us after I’ve been sober for a while. But what’s long enough? I just lost my mom. I can’t lose her, too. She is the only thing that matters to me anymore, other than Dad and Lev.”
The charged pause in the air suggested I should add her name. I was nowhere near ready to even consider such an idea, though. Dixie had just passed the threshold between enemy and acquaintance. She had a long way to friend territory, and mountains and rivers to cross before she was family.