“Please,” I said.
“Please, what?” His voice came out of nowhere. I didn’t open my eyes. Maybe it was just my imagination. Maybe I’d gone crazy. And perhaps I didn’t care anymore. I couldn’t risk opening my eyes and not seeing him there, so I kept them closed.
“Please forgive me.”
“For what?”
“For trying to ruin you. For trying to ruin myself, us. For not trusting myself enough to do the right thing about my father and Theo so long. For being a coward. But most of all, I am sorry for not telling you how I felt. Because maybe then you’d have taken a step back and none of that would have happened.”
“What are you feeling, Edie?” He cupped my cheek in his big, warm palm, and that’s how I knew it was real. That he was real. My eyes snapped open, and he was there, in front of me, in the flesh. The man who filled my heart with music with his silence.
“I…” My mouth parted, but I couldn’t finish the sentence. His lips slammed into mine in a desperate kiss that made my head spin and sucked the air from my lungs. His lips sucked mine, comforting me with their sweet warmth, and I gripped his flexed forearms, pulling him closer.
“You never gave Jordan the flash drive,” Trent said.
I wanted to cry. Every night, I’d lain in bed praying he’d somehow figure it out without me telling him. I didn’t want him to have to choose between Val and me.
“How could I?” I moaned into his lips. “How could I when you’re my ocean.”
We drowned in another kiss. A different kiss. A kiss of affirmation. That this was real. And no matter how twisted and wrong and bad it looked—and sometimes felt—it was also ours.
“I don’t want to come between you and the mother of your child,” I whimpered into his mouth so pathetically, I had to claw my fingers deeper into the skin of his arm to keep him close. Shockingly, he gave me what I wanted, gluing his body into mine, giving me everything he could.
“The mother of my child came between her relationship with Luna, not you. You were the one who taught Luna to smile. You were the one who spent time with her. Who fucking took her by the hand when she was bullied. You’re more of a mother to my daughter than Val would ever be. I don’t know what you saw the day when Val came to my apartment, but whatever it was, you got the wrong idea. She never gave a shit about her kid. She came here to claim money and power. And she is going to crawl back to where she came from.”
“I’m so sorry.” I touched his face, pulling away, staring at him.
“I’m not,” he said. “I’m also not sorry for sending your father to jail. Edie, he did some terrible things that you need to know about.”
I nodded. “I believe you.” And I did. I’d already heard some of them. No matter what Trent would tell me about my father, I knew he was telling the truth. Because Jordan Van Der Zee had absolutely no limits.
Trent kissed my nose softly, his forehead dropping to mine. “I love you,” he said, cupping my neck from both sides and shaking his head in exasperation, like this was a mistake. Like he shouldn’t be loving me, but had no other choice. My heart swelled. “I’m so fucking in love with you, Edie Van Der Zee, I don’t know where I end and where you begin anymore. I love you despite knowing that it is crazy. That our situations are disastrous. I love you knowing that you should have at least a few more experiences before you find the love. I love you even though we’re not at the same place in life, have nothing in common, and started off so fucking bad. And still, I love you.”
“I love you.” I sniffed, holding back my tears, pressing my forehead deeper to his. “I love how fierce you are when it comes to the people you care about. I love that you’re so aware of your flaws. I love that you fight them. I even love it when you succumb to them. I love every single part of you. The good and the bad. And I will never love anyone else the way I do you, because it’s not about my age. It’s about my heart. It belongs to you. Trent Rexroth, you’re my ocean. You make me wet.”
He grinned, pulling me into a tight hug. “I would have come for you, Van Der Zee, even if you had given him the flash drive. Even if you threw me in the lion’s den. And I promise to never stop making you wet, my Little Tide. Promise to always keep you drenched.”