Sabrina refilled each of our coffee mugs once we’d finished eating. “Now that we’ve taken care of our hunger and need for caffeine, how are you, really?”
“Better than I would’ve expected considering what happened.”
She smiled. “Good. Angelo told me everything, and you did what was necessary.”
“Yeah, I think it was.” I decided not to think too hard about my role as a killer, at least not then. “Did you see Lucien last night? How is he?”
She frowned. “In a lot more pain than he’s willing to admit and angry with himself for getting captured and needing to be rescued. Angelo and Devil forced him to see a doctor and let them track down the rest of Damian’s allies. They promised they’d force him to rest if they had to chain him to the bed.”
I could just imagine the trouble he would give them. “Who hurt him? I want to make sure they pay for it.”
She smiled. “You sound like one of us now. And you’ve already made him pay. It was Stefan. Apparently, along with chafing against his father’s more conservative ways of running the family, Stefan had resented Lucien for years.”
Heat flooded my face. “Only when it comes to protecting Lucien.” I thought about that for a moment then added, “I would defend you or Angelo or Devil too if I had to. But that was the only time I’d ever used a gun. I run from danger normally, like I told you.”
“You didn’t run last night, and Lucien is alive because of it.”
She was right. When Lucien had needed me, I’d done what was necessary. “Maybe he’s teaching me how to be brave.”
“And you’re teaching him to remember the man he used to be, and that it’s okay to love someone.”
“I’m not sure he—” Sabrina raised her brows, and I didn’t say anything else.
“Lucien wanted me to tell you that Jimmy was admitted to the hospital overnight. He got rehydrated, and he should make a full recovery. Lucien gave an order for him to be guarded until he’s recovered.”
“He did that for me? Even though Jimmy went against him?”
“Sometimes even Lucien gives people second or third chances. He’s not the monster people believe him to be.”
I shook my head. “He’s not a monster at all.”
“You’re right. Sometimes he thinks he is, though, and he doesn’t know how to handle it. So he may not say the things you wish he would.”
“I know. I’ve already learned that words can be hard for him, and sometimes he means exactly the opposite of what he says.”
She grinned. “My instincts were right. You’re perfect for him.”
“I want to be.”
Five days later, I returned home. I truly thought of Lucien’s house as my own now. It was late when I arrived, but Lucien was in a meeting. He’d left me a note telling me to wait for him in his room, and he would be there as soon as possible.
I considered going to look for him. I was sure he’d punish me for defying his order, but I already expected him to punish me for leaving my phone on the day he’d been captured and for refusing to hide while he’d confronted Damian and his allies. Every time I imagined how that punishment would feel, heat raced through me, and my cock hardened. I longed to touch him. That had been the hardest part about being separated from him, not having even his platonic touches. Lucien used physical contact to let me know how he was feeling. He’d probably never tell me much about his feelings, but he would show me what he needed with his body.
When I reached his room, I changed into pajama pants and a t-shirt before lying down on his big bed and burying my face in his pillow so I could breathe in his scent. I didn’t mean to fall asleep, but I was exhausted. I’d been sleeping poorly since he’d been taken by Stefan.
When I woke up, I was confused about where I was at first. Then I remembered Lucien coming in, curling around me, and kissing my head. Had he really napped with me? Had he really whispered that he loved me, or had that been a dream?
I opened my eyes slowly and saw Lucien standing across the room, talking on the phone.
I sat up and waited for him to end the call. When he did, he didn’t rush across the room and pull me into his arms. He reached for the whiskey decanter he always kept on a table near the door and poured a measure for himself. He didn’t speak until he’d taken a sip.
“You disobeyed me. I told you to stay put, and you followed me.” His hand was shaking. I’d never seen him look so scared, not even when I’d found him in the cell.