“Please, need you,” he begged.
I grabbed a condom from the nightstand, rolled it on, and slicked my cock in record time, Then I was driving into him, filling him up, giving him all of myself. I let him feel the things I couldn’t bring myself to say. We were wild, slamming against each other, grasping, clinging, and finally letting all our hopes and dreams spill into and onto each other. I collapsed on top of him, careful not to crush him with my full weight. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close. “Stay right here.”
I buried my face against his neck and breathed him in. I had no desire to move, even though I needed to send him back to his own room.
I woke around three thirty in the morning, still wrapped around Riley. I debated about the risks of keeping him there but ultimately decided against it. It wasn’t easy to wake him, but I finally got him up and into his clothes. Maryellen often woke up even earlier than I did, so we didn’t have long to sneak him up to his room before she would be heading down to the kitchen. Once I made sure he’d gotten into the house in his half-asleep state, I knew I wasn’t going to fall back asleep.
I went ahead and put on a pot of coffee in my small kitchen. When it was ready, I filled a mug and took it out on my porch to enjoy a few moments of peace. I loved these moments in the hours before dawn when hardly any creatures were awake. The world was still and there seemed to be so much potential in the day, but that morning all I could think about was Riley. He also had so much potential. Despite all his frustrations, he was doing a damn good job. He was a quicker learner than most other inexperienced hands I’d attempted to train in the past, but he’d made it clear that life on a ranch was not what he wanted.
He had also made it clear he didn’t really know what he wanted.
Maybe not, but he wanted to live in the city. He deserved a chance to go to school and study something he chose so he would be motivated to succeed. And I belonged on a ranch riding horses and working cattle. It was the only thing I’d ever wanted to do. I would be willing to look for a job on another ranch, even though I had a good situation here, but it wasn’t fair for me to ask him to stay if I wasn’t just as willing to go where he wanted.
I let out a long sigh. What was I doing trying to plan my future around a relationship that had only been going on for a few weeks?
Did it really matter how long it had been? I knew what I felt.
We don’t really know each other.
Don’t you? Don’t you know the essence of each other? Isn’t that the most important thing?
Maybe.
Ask him if there’s a way you can compromise.
I would think about it. Maybe the time away together would make everything clearer.
20
Riley
I was jittery Friday morning when it came time to leave for Houston. The trip seemed monumental somehow. I hadn’t left the ranch in weeks, and I was excited to get away, but I was also worried about what it would be like for me and Blake to be together somewhere else. What if everything felt wrong when we weren’t on the ranch? What if after spending concentrated time alone with me, he realized I wasn’t who he thought I was. He saw something in me that I really wasn’t sure was real, not that I’d dare say that to him since my ass would pay for it. I wasn’t sure I’d really mind that much, but Blake had told me if I wanted to be spanked, I should ask him for it instead of disobeying to get it. I wanted to be a good boy for him. I more or less knew how to do that on the ranch, but I felt unsure of what he expected of me on this trip.
Ask him.
Why did that seem so scary? The last night we spent together, I’d said a lot of things I should’ve been afraid to say. I came so close to begging him to find another job, telling him I’d follow him wherever he went. I didn’t really know if I could be happy like that, and where the hell were we going to find a ranch that would hire a foreman and his boyfriend? I supposed it wouldn’t hurt to ask the guys at the KC. They might know of some more gay-friendly ranches, but I wasn’t sure they’d take me seriously. They probably thought I was the irresponsible spoiled brat I’d basically been until Blake.