“When would we go?”
“Friday morning. We can take care of our business early and then have the rest of the day and night to ourselves and make our way back slowly on Saturday. I’ll cut the ranch work down to just the basic necessities. We’re at a good point for a short break, and everyone could use one before we head into calving season.”
“So the other hands will get the time off too?”
“Obviously someone will need to be here to feed the animals, but I’ll make sure everyone has a chance to get away from the ranch for a bit if they want to.”
“I’m going to be counting the minutes until Friday.”
He laughed. “Are you now?”
“Yes. All that time to talk to you, to go out with you where no one knows us, a whole night in your bed, it sounds like heaven.”
19
Blake
Having Riley to myself for a whole night would be heaven.
“I wonder if Casey will go into Houston this weekend too.”
“Huh?” I’d been lost in thought and wasn’t sure I’d heard him clearly.
“He told me we should go out together some time.”
I tensed. Was Casey trying to move in on my boy?
Riley laughed. “Oh my God, you’re jealous.”
“No, I—”
“You totally are.”
“You’re mine.” I didn’t even care how high-handed that sounded and, based on the huge smile on his face, neither did Riley.
“I don’t want anyone but you. If I went out with Casey, I would be there as a friend, and I wouldn’t be looking for anyone else. I’m yours, Blake.”
I closed my eyes and exhaled slowly. “I don’t want anyone but you either, baby. If I had to take this trip by myself, I wouldn’t even go out. I’d just stay in my hotel room and jerk off thinking about you. The whole fucking-just-for-physical-release thing is nowhere near as satisfying as having a boy I care about.”
“Have you been a Daddy to someone like this before?”
“Once, before I worked here, but it… ended badly. We had different ideas about where things were going.”
“Is that why you said you didn’t want me to call you that if I was only playing?”
“Yes, and…” I wasn’t sure exactly how much I wanted to reveal. Every time I was with Riley, I fell a little harder for him, and the more I opened up, the faster I seemed to fall.
Riley laid a hand on my arm. “You said I could tell you anything.”
I nodded, knowing where he was going.
“You can tell me anything too.”
“Thank you.” I took his hand and squeezed it. “I don’t… I’m not good at talking about myself or how I feel.”
“I know you’re a big tough cowboy, but I don’t think that’s all you are.” Riley laid a hand over the center of my chest, and my heart began to beat even faster than it already was.
I was supposed to be figuring out what he needed, taking care of him, but he was seeing me at least as clearly as I was seeing him. And if I were honest with myself—and believe me I didn’t like to be honest about anything that made me vulnerable—I needed him at least as much as he needed me. I hadn’t realized that before he’d come here and drawn me in. I’d pushed away any longing for more than succeeding at my job and working toward running my own ranch one day. I told myself that was enough. A good job, decent savings, a plan for the future. It was more than most men had. For a gay cowboy pushing forty it seemed like hoping for more was asking for disaster, but Riley showed me that telling myself I didn’t want more didn’t make it true. I loved taking care of him and being the Daddy he needed.
“I’ve tried to do the Daddy thing casually,” I explained. “I’ve hooked up with younger guys who liked to call me Daddy, and I’m not saying it wasn’t fun having them obey whatever I told them, but knowing it was all pretend just wasn’t… satisfying.”
Riley nodded. “You want something real.”
“Yeah. I do.”
“Nothing in my life has ever been more real than this.” I swallowed against the lump in my throat, not trusting myself to speak. Riley brushed his thumb over my cheekbone. “I want to be real for you, Blake.”
“You are. You really are.”
I pulled Riley against me and held him tight. The words we’d both left unsaid seemed to echo around us, reminding us of the things we couldn’t have without one of us giving up our dreams. That was the damnedest thing about love. If you really cared for another person you wanted them to have everything that would make them happy, even if that meant they couldn’t be with you.
Eventually, all our tension channeled into desire. Riley began to tease my neck with his lips, tongue, and teeth. I pushed him to his back rubbing our cocks together with rough thrusts of my hips.