“Riley—”
He held up his hands like he was warding me off. “I can’t. I know you believe I can learn everything you want to teach me. I know you want me to believe in myself, but you saw that I couldn’t answer my father’s questions. I couldn’t remember anything. I’m never going to be able to do this in the time we have left. You should be able to focus on running this ranch instead of babying me. Even if I learned it all, I can’t pass my father’s tests, so what’s the point?”
I wanted to reach out to him, but I was afraid that would make him run. “Ranching isn’t something you can just quiz people on. It’s more about muscle memory than spouting off a series of steps, and a rancher has to be able to react in the moment.”
“None of that matters. My father’s not going to believe me no matter what I do.”
“He’ll have to if we show him. Let me talk to him about—”
“No.” Riley shook his head. “I can’t. I’m just not… It’s too much to learn too fast. I’m not the person you think I am.”
Riley started to walk around me, but I moved in front of him. “Riley, look at me.”
“I don’t think I can.” The tremble in his voice made my chest ache.
“Don’t let your father win. You weren’t prepared for that bullshit today, and neither was I. Next time, we’ll be ready.”
“You shouldn’t have to defend me.” He turned his back to me and wiped at his eyes.
“No, I shouldn’t. Your father should be a decent human being, but considering that’s not likely to happen, there’s nothing wrong with having people who care by your side so you don’t have to confront him on your own.”
“It would be easier to just leave.”
“You’re right. It’s always easier to walk away, but if you do, and he cuts you off—”
“It’s not your job to fix me. I’m a fuck-up, okay? Just accept that.”
The hell I would. “You’ve made some bad choices, but that doesn’t make you anything other than human. You were just meeting your father’s expectations of you. If he’d been more concerned with your feelings than his own image, his expectations would have been a lot different. You’re not who he says you are, Riley.”
He shrugged. “Maybe I am. Maybe I became that person, and it’s too late to change.”
“If that’s true, then you definitely need his money.”
He whirled to face me then, anger flashing in his eyes. “You said I—” He froze as if unable to complete the sentence.
“That’s right. I said you are capable of making it on your own. You’re also capable of learning how to run this ranch, and you’re capable of learning it so well you can show your father and pass his quizzes. I believe that because I know nothing he says about you is true.”
“Why do you want to help me so badly?”
“Because…” I held back. It wasn’t time to talk about deeper feelings. “Because I care about you.”
Riley turned, and we stared at each other. The air between us felt even thicker and heavier than the air out here always did. I’d come close to saying too much, and Riley knew it. What I didn’t know was whether he felt the same way. Maybe not if he was willing to walk away. I’d known I couldn’t be a Daddy to him and keep things casual.
Silence stretched between us for too long, so I added, “And because that asshole has bullied enough people. He doesn’t deserve to win.” That was safer. Something any decent person might feel.
Riley nodded, but he didn’t say anything. He still held himself rigid, like he was in fight or flight mode. I’d rather him fight with me than run, so I kept pushing.
“Think about it, Riley. You could win. You could do what he thinks you can’t and get your freedom. You’ll be free of him if you walk away now, but you won’t have the means to start yourself on another path. You’ll manage somehow, but things could be a hell of a lot better if you’re willing to work at this—”
“I have been working. I—”
I smiled. “Yes, you have, and you’ve learned a lot.”
“But he said—”
“Your father doesn’t know how to praise people. I’ve never figured out if he intends to motivate people by putting them down and making them prove him wrong or if he truly thinks everyone but him is a piece of shit. He’s rarely praised anything I’ve done, not even when I’ve significantly increased our revenue.”
Riley looked indignant on my behalf. I wanted to grab him and kiss him, but I held back.
“That’s not right, Blake. You’re damn good at what you do. You’re good with the hands, with the cattle. You work so hard. Why do you stay here when he’s like that?”