“Yes, sir,” I choked the words out around the bile that rose in my throat. My stomach churned, and my pulse seemed to bang against my skull.
As soon as my father walked away, I did what I’d been longing to do since I’d heard his voice. I ran. I didn’t stop until I reached the rise behind the main house where I used to go when I needed to get away as a kid. I’d enjoyed sitting there, looking out at the grazing cows and the hills beyond. The large trees hid me if my dad was looking for me, and sometimes Maryellen would pack food for me, I’d take my iPod, and stay out there for hours.
I pressed my hand against my eyes, trying to stop the tears. I wanted to believe Blake when he told me I could do this, but I’d never been any good under pressure. It didn’t matter how many times Blake showed me something, I wouldn’t be able to answer my dad’s questions if he fired them off at me like that. How had I ever thought I could learn everything so quickly? And what if I did? What if I kept working my ass off, drilling myself on all the things I needed to know, and my father still didn’t accept that I’d learned what I needed to?
I should just quit now. Except I was terrified of truly being on my own. I might not be the spoiled kid I pretended to be, but I had no idea what it was like to have to survive without my father’s help. I wouldn’t be able to afford to go to school, even if I knew what the fuck I wanted to major in. But staying here was pointless, wasn’t it? I was wasting Blake’s time, and the longer I stayed, the harder I was going to fall for him. Or maybe it was too late already. I’d tried to tell myself it was crazy, but I knew I was in love with him.
My whole body vibrated with the need to get away. Even this special place didn’t feel peaceful anymore, not when all I could think about was how I would fail. My mind kept running through all the things my father had asked. Things I knew but had forgotten in the moment. So many things. So much to learn.
In the years I’d lived here, I’d never realized how very hard everyone worked, everyone but me and my dad. Blake didn’t need one more burden. I thought of the times I’d argued with him or refused to listen, especially in the first weeks I’d been here. I’d been exactly the brat I’d told him I wasn’t. He should’ve spanked me every single night.
I wished I could ask him to discipline me right then, but I wasn’t going to ask anymore of him. I was going to leave and never come back. Blake would be disappointed in me. He’d be pissed off, maybe even hurt if I left without saying good bye, but I couldn’t face him, not after my dad had humiliated me in front of him, not when he knew how little I’d really learned from him.
I spun around, intending to sneak into the house and grab as much of my stuff as I could pack quickly, but Blake was there, only a few yards away. I hadn’t heard him coming.
Run, my mind screamed, but I remained there. Frozen. Watching Blake stalk toward me. My body seemed to know I needed him even if my mind was still fighting it.
15
Blake
I’d barely restrained myself from punching the shit out of Lawson. If he hadn’t left when he did, I might’ve done it or at least told him to get the fuck out of my corral. I didn’t care that it was technically his. I did the work around here, and I knew how hard Riley was trying. His father would too if he would give Riley time to think instead of being an intimidating asshole. Riley had finally been starting to accept that he could do whatever he wanted if he set his mind to it, and now his father had likely fucked all that up.
Would Riley even want to try anymore? I’d start over with him if I had to. I would do everything I could to convince him to stay because I wanted him to prove his bastard of a father wrong and because I wasn’t ready to let Riley go.
It took me a little while to find Riley. He was on a hill behind the main house, standing under a beautiful, old oak tree. He turned abruptly and then stopped. I thought he’d heard me coming, but the surprise on his face told me he hadn’t. I could see fear, anger, and sadness in his eyes. His fists were clenched at his sides, and I was sure he was close to a meltdown. I took a deep breath. I was going to need a lot of patience to be the Daddy he needed.