“Riley?” Thorne sounded surprised.
“Sorry, I was reading.”
“Reading?”
“Yeah, and the phone was across the room, and I was absorbed in the story, and…” Why couldn’t he just tell the truth?
“Riley—”
“That’s not true. I mean I was reading, but when I picked up the phone I got scared.”
“I love you.” Thorne’s words warmed Riley. Things were going to be all right.
“Come out here.” Riley couldn’t stand another day on his own.
“Now?”
“As soon as you can. I miss you.”
“I’ve missed you so much. I’ll be there as soon as I can. But um…”
“Yeah?”
“Am I staying?” Thorne asked. “Should I pack some things?”
“You’re staying. If you want to. I’m ready to talk.”
“Me too.”
Thank God. “Okay, I’ll see you in a few hours.”
They ended the call, and Riley lay back down. He took several deep breaths. He could do this. He could accept Thorne like he was because he would not lose this man.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Riley was just pulling a new creation, chai custard pie, out of the oven when someone knocked on the door. Thorne? Already? He must have driven like a maniac.
He set the pie on the cooling rack and, heart pounding, crossed the room and looked through the peephole. It was Thorne. When Riley swung the door open, no words would come out. Thorne didn’t say anything either. They simply stared at one another. Riley couldn’t remember ever feeling so awkward around Thorne. When they’d first met, he’d been firmly in his Dash persona. And even when Thorne had pursued him after they’d stopped seeing each other professionally, they’d had plenty to say.
Realizing he was blocking the door, Riley stepped back so Thorne could enter. Thorne rolled his suitcase into the kitchen and dropped his messenger bag beside it.
After a few more seconds of silence, Thorne finally said, “I fucking hate things being like this.”
Riley nodded. “Me too.”
Thorne pulled him into a tight hug, and some of Riley’s tension melted. God, it was good to be in his arms again. Maybe they just needed to spend some time together before trying to get into the heavy stuff? Was that avoidance or common sense?
“I know we need to talk, but could we go sailing first? Just take some time to be together? That’s what this trip was supposed to be about, and I can’t wait to show you the boat. The alterations made her even more beautiful.”
Thorne pulled back, his eyes wide. “Really?”
“Yeah. I know it seems like I’m avoiding talking, but I feel like I’ve ruined what should have been a celebration. I need to lighten things up, or I’m going to lose my mind.”
“You haven’t ruined anything. You are more important than any boat, but I am anxious to take her out.”
“We can talk afterward.”
Thorne sighed. “If I’d been better at talking for the last few months, we might not be where we are. Kathryn says I fuck things up because I assume I know what you’re thinking instead of asking. I’ve never been good at asking.”
Riley smiled. “You’re good at telling people what to do, but asking, especially for something you need…”
“True, but you’re not… Never mind. Let’s go sailing.”
“I’m not good at it either. You’re right about that, and I’m way too fucking independent.”
“I like your independence.”
Riley knew if they kept going, things might get heated. Time to focus on something nicer. “Do you need to change clothes before we go to the marina?”
Thorne nodded.
“Go ahead, and I’ll pack us a snack.”
Riley cut slices from all the pies and tarts he’d made and packed them up. Thorne could have a taste test later. He loved pie.
Suddenly, tears pricked at Riley’s eyes. He loved sharing his food with Thorne. He loved sharing everything with Thorne. How had they gotten to this point? The weight of sadness threatened to make him crumble.
***
THORNE FROZE IN the kitchen doorway. Riley had his arms braced on the kitchen counter, head hanging down. He looked so defeated. Was that Thorne’s fault? Thorne’s eyes burned with tears.
He crossed the room and hugged Riley from behind. “Sailing can wait,” he said. “I want you to enjoy it.”
Riley shook his head. “It’s not fair. But I…” His voice broke.
Thorne encouraged him to turn around and then pulled him into his arms so he could hold him as he sobbed. The tears Thorne could no longer hold back trickled down his cheeks.
“I’m so sorry,” Thorne whispered against his ear.
“You’ve got nothing to be sorry for,” Riley said when he could catch his breath. “I’ve been an ass to you.”
“No, you’ve told me how you felt about me spending money on you, and I ignored it multiple times.”
Riley shook his head as he stepped back. “You wanted to help, and I’ve rejected everything you’ve tried to do for me.”
“I’ve pushed too hard. I keep telling myself not to, but I can’t seem to stop.”