“I’m scared you’ll see too much of me.”
Thorne shook his head. “I can’t imagine ever getting tired of you.”
“You can’t be sure of that, but that’s not what I meant anyway. You’ll see more of Riley instead of Dash, and maybe Riley isn’t as likable.”
“I like Riley. A lot. But I think I understand what you mean. It’s harder to be honest now that we’re really together because it’s all too real.”
Riley nodded. “Yeah.”
“That was one of my biggest fears starting a real relationship. I could tell Dash anything because it was all temporary and professional, but now… This is exactly what I want, but it’s not easy.”
“Are we moving too fast?” Riley asked, heart pounding. Was Thorne going to suggest he move back out after he’d finally gotten the nerve to start unpacking more than his clothes?
“No!” Thorne shouted, his vehemence shocking Riley.
Thorne took a long, audible breath. “I’m sorry. I don’t think it’s a mistake moving in, but maybe we’re expecting too much of each other instead of remembering that this is all new for both of us.”
“We can’t expect either one of us to be perfect.”
“Are you worried about that?” Thorne asked. “That I expect perfection? Because I don’t. This isn’t a job anymore. It’s okay to be tired or whatever. You’re not required to put on a show for me.”
Riley hadn’t thought Thorne would understand so easily. “When did you get so damn perceptive?”
“I think you have yourself to blame for that.”
Riley smiled, feeling much better. “Yeah, I guess I do.”
Thorne scooped up a stack of cookbooks and stood. “I’ll put these up now.”
“They’re kids’ books, okay?”
“What?”
“The box you asked about. It’s full of books from when I was a kid. I didn’t keep much when I moved out of my parents’ house, but I just couldn’t give those away. They’re some of my best memories.”
Thorne sank to the floor by Riley and laid a hand on his arm. “Did you really think that would bother me?”
Riley shook his head. “It’s kinda embarrassing, though. It would be one thing if my mom was still alive and she’d kept them. Not that she would have. She was a ruthless purger, and I had to hide these so she wouldn’t throw them away. But for me to have them—”
Thorne pressed his fingers to Riley’s lips, stopping his words. “Stay right there,” he ordered.
A few moments later, he came back and held out a few thin books to Riley. One was a battered copy of The Little Engine That Could. The others included a Hardy Boys mystery and The Snowy Day by Ezra Jack Keats. “I kept some kids’ books around too.”
Riley took The Snowy Day and flipped through it. “I loved this one.”
“Me too,” Thorne said. “Growing up, I always wished it would snow more in Atlanta.”
Riley put a finger under Thorne’s chin and tilted his head up. He didn’t say anything; he simply leaned in and kissed Thorne, brushing their lips together softly and then teasing Thorne’s lips with his tongue until he opened them and Riley could truly taste him. He sucked on Thorne’s lower lip, loving the heat of him and the way he welcomed anything Riley wanted from him.
“I love you,” he whispered as he pulled back.
Thorne gave him a sweet smile. Then he picked up The Little Engine That Could. “This was one my dad read to me constantly. He wanted me to be like that little engine, to never give up. I guess the lesson stuck. But sometimes I just wanted to stop and enjoy the scenery. Also, that damn clown is disturbing.”
Riley couldn’t help laughing. “He sure is.”
“At first I kept it because I wanted to remember that I could do anything and then—after I met you—to remember that enjoying the scenery was actually okay.”
Riley squeezed Thorne’s hand. “I love that I could do that for you.”
“Me too. Riley, you’re the one who taught me to stop exhausting myself pulling trains uphill.”
Riley smiled. If only he could remember that lesson himself.
The moment was heavy. Good, but heavy. Thorne must have sensed it too because he laid his books on top of the box and stood. “We could put those on a shelf together if you want. I had mine in one of the glass-front cabinets near my desk. I’d love for you to put yours there too.”
“I’d like that too.” Riley picked up his box and followed Thorne to the open living room area.
Thorne opened the cabinet, and Riley saw his copy of Swallows and Amazons and what looked like more volumes in the same series. There were a few other paperbacks in the cabinet, but there was plenty of room for Riley’s collection.
Ridiculously, Riley still felt heat come to his face as he pulled out each book and placed it on the shelf. He’d shared so much with Thorne, been as intimate as it was possible for two people to be, but this type of sharing was more difficult.