I don’t know how she got pregnant or who my father was — is. All I know is that my mom was alone for the brief time I spent with her. She didn’t trust men, which makes me wonder if she even knew my father.
What I do know is that Chris is not the type to leave if things should get complicated. I know no birth control is one hundred percent effective. But I have nothing to worry about. If I were to get pregnant, I know Chris would be there for me every step of the way.
Chris comes back a minute later with his acoustic guitar and closes the bedroom door behind him. No one else is home. Jackie and her new boyfriend Tim are baking a cake at the shop and running errands before we meet them tonight for a birthday dinner. Which is where Chris and I will finally confess the truth about our relationship.
This simple gesture of Chris closing the bedroom door makes me feel safe, like he knows exactly what I need. He always has.
I scoot back so he can sit on the edge of the bed next to me. He settles down with his guitar in his lap and strums a haphazard melody as he tunes the guitar by ear. I sigh as I watch his lips playing with the ball piercing in his tongue.
He presses the tip of his tongue against the back of his bottom teeth and pushes the piercing forward just far enough to catch it between his teeth. Then the tip of his tongue flicks up to touch the ball just as it retreats. He does this over and over and I’m convinced that he knows how erotic it looks, though he claims it’s unintentional.
“I wrote this for you,” he begins, looking more than a bit nervous. “It’s about the day we met. It’s called ‘Sleepyhead’.”
I smile as I remember how tired I was the day we met. I hadn’t slept at all the night before at the police station, but somehow he still convinced me to go downstairs and listen to him play. Chris has always had a way of making me feel comfortable while doing something completely out of my comfort zone.
He begins plucking the guitar strings and the melody that flows out is both haunting and sweet. I’m already on the verge of tears from the memory of the day we met when he begins to sing.
“Feels so wrong to want this. You look so broken there. A flicker in the mist, as tired as the air.” He looks up at me and my breath hitches. He holds my gaze the entire time he’s singing, except when he closes his eyes and belts out the chorus. “So frightened of the dark. You’re my sleepyhead. Hiding with the stars. Put your dreams to bed, my sleepyhead.”
I grab his face and kiss him hard. He slides the guitar off his lap and onto the floor, then he climbs on top of me. I wrap my legs around him and he moans as I grind my hips into him.
“Are you okay?” he murmurs into my mouth.
I nod as I wrap my arms tighter around his solid shoulders and mash my lips to his. His hand slips under my shirt and I suck in a sharp breath as it travels up to my breast. Chris and I have gone much further than this, hundreds of times, but this feels different. I want him to see all of me.
I push his shoulders back a little so I can reach down and lift my shirt over my head. He smiles and does the same. I sit up so he can get a better look at me.
His eyes are glued to my breasts for a moment. Then he looks up and the devilish smile on his face could set this house on fire. I reach forward and lightly drag my fingertips down the center of his chest until I reach the button of his jeans. His nostrils flare as his chest heaves with anticipation.
I unbutton his jeans and slowly slide the zipper down. His erection is ready to burst out, and suddenly I’m dying to see it.
I swallow hard as I look up into his eyes. “I want to see it.”
He chuckles, then he slides off the bed and slowly strips off his jeans and boxers so he’s completely naked. He’s so beautiful. This is what I’ve been missing out on.
I stand from the bed and shrug out of my shorts and panties. Then I turn my back to him so he can undo my bra. His fingers work gently, undoing the clasp, then he slowly slides the straps down my arms and we let it fall to the floor.
I turn around to face him and he looks stunned, as if he didn’t think he’d ever get here. I take his face in my hands and try not to giggle when his erection prods my belly.
“Sorry,” he whispers.
“It’s okay. Did that hurt?”
He smiles and shakes his head. “No. Definitely not.”
His gaze keeps falling to my breasts. I lay myself down on the bed and grab his hand to pull him down next to me.
“I just want to kiss you … everywhere,” he says, his hand reaching for my waist.
He pulls my body flush against his, and this time his erection slides between my legs. He leans in to kiss me and I drape my leg over his hips. My body gets warm and pliable as he moves his hips slowly, rubbing himself against me.
But he quickly stops and lifts my leg off of him. “We can’t do that or I’m gonna blow.”
He reaches over the side of the bed and lifts his jeans off the floor. He pulls out a condom from his wallet and I watch as he pinches the reservoir and slides it over his erection. Just the way we learned how to do it in sex ed class. I try not to picture him doing that with the girls he was with before me.
He lies next to me, propped up on one elbow as his gaze slides over every inch of my skin. “I am so fucking fascinated by your body.” He traces his finger lightly over the inside of my thigh until he reaches my center. I gasp as his finger easily slides over my flesh, finding the most sensitive spot. “I just want to look at you for a while. Is that okay?”
“Yes,” I whisper, breathless with anticipation.
He removes his hand from between my legs and lays it flat on my belly. Then he slowly slides his hand up to my breast, at the same time pushing me onto my back. He cups my breast in his hand and watches my face as he gently rolls my nipple between his thumb and forefinger. I smile as both my nipples perk up and the pulsing sensation between my legs returns.
He leans over, his eyes locked on mine, as he flicks my nipple with his tongue. Each time, it sends a rush of excitement coursing through me. Then he closes his eyes as he takes my nipple into his mouth and sucks gently.
I let out a soft whimper and draw in a deep breath. He releases my nipple and lays a cool trail of kisses down my stomach, stopping when he gets to my navel. I glance down to see what he’s doing and he’s just staring at me. I open my mouth to say something, but he plants a soft kiss on the inside of my thigh.
With one hand, he parts my flesh and I gasp as he uses the fingers of his other hand to softly caress me. He uses two fingers, rubbing me in a gentle up-and-down motion. My stomach muscles contract and I can hardly breathe.
“Oh, my God.”
He leans over and plants a tender kiss on me, holding his mouth there so I can feel his breath on my bare skin. Then his tongue makes contact with my clit. It’s just a soft lick, but I feel as if I might burst.
“You taste so fucking good,” he murmurs against my skin.
Then he licks me again and again.
I grab fistfuls of the comforter and arch my back. “Oh, God!”
He takes my clit into his mouth and sucks gently until my body begins to convulse uncontrollably. Oh, my God. This is so embarrassing. But he doesn’t seem to care. He continues to devour me until I let out a wild scream. Then I grab his hair and yank him up so I can catch my breath.
He smiles as he hovers above me, his elbows restin
g on the pillow on either side of my head. “Was that good?” I nod because I still can’t speak. “Are you ready or do you need a minute?”
I nod again. “I’m ready.”
He kisses my forehead and I take a few deep breaths. His hand slides down between us and I spread my legs a little wider. Then I hold my breath and brace myself.
The tip of his erection glides between my flesh as he searches for entry. I jump a little when he hits my sensitive clit. Then he finds what he’s looking for and I dig my fingernails into his shoulders as he slowly slides into me just an inch.
He squeezes his eyes tightly shut. “God damn.”
“Are you okay?”
He nods emphatically. “Oh, yeah. I’m very okay.”
He opens his eyes and leans down to kiss me as he attempts to slide in farther. I can taste myself on his lips and it makes me smile. Then he tries to slide in farther and I yelp.
“Shit! Did I hurt you?”
“No, no, no! It’s okay.” I grab his face and kiss him again. “Just go slow. Please.”
I suck on his top lip and he groans as he slides just a bit farther in with each stroke. I can feel my muscles and flesh stretching with every movement of his hips. He bobs slowly up and down, back and forth, grinding against me in a circular motion, then resting so he can kiss me deeply. It feels like it goes on for an hour, but in reality it’s more like ten minutes before he lets go inside the condom and collapses on top of me.
I lay a soft kiss on his sweaty forehead as I brush the hair out of his face. I can feel him softening inside me, then he reaches down and carefully pulls himself out.
“I’ll be right back.”
When he returns from the bathroom, he’s still naked and that makes me smile. He slides in under the covers with me and we just lie facing each other without saying anything for a while. He strokes the backs of his fingers over my cheekbone and plants a tender kiss on my nose.
“I love you so much, Claire.” He brushes his thumb across my lips. “I want you to be with me forever.”