I took the stairs and climbed up behind Jimmy, nervous about being away from Carol and Dr. Green.
“What’s in here?” Jimmy asked and stopped at the top step to drop the bag onto the floor. “Did you bring an entire library?” He slid the pack toward the bedroom door with his foot.
I opened the door all the way, and he kick-shoved the bag inside. I grimaced. “Easy,” I said.
“Sorry. It felt like books. I should have asked...” He picked the bag up again to slide it over a bit. “Do we need to split up the closet?”
“I asked Carol if I can sleep in the attic space,” I said, feeling odd to have asked her about where to sleep in what was my old room. I motioned to the smaller door off to the side.
Jimmy looked over at the door and then gingerly foot-shoved the pack in that direction. “You sure?” he asked. “I could sleep in there if you’re nervous about sharing a room. But I swear, I wouldn’t hurt you or anything. I know you don’t know me...”
“It’s okay,” I said. “I kind of like it.” It wasn’t as good as sleeping at Nathan’s, but if I had to stay here for now, the attic was the best spot in the house.
I opened the attic door, and Jimmy slid the bag just inside.
As he did, there were low voices downstairs from Dr. Green and Carol. They spoke quietly for a few minutes, then there were footsteps on the stairs.
They appeared in the door, with Dr. Green holding the folded cot and a sleeping bag, along with my book bag, also filled almost to bursting.
Dr. Green took an almost too obvious look around the room, and I realized he was pretending he hadn’t been in here before. “I like the pink,” he said and showed me a grin. “It suits you.”
“I think it’s horrible,” Jimmy said with a smirk and then looked to his mom. “Maybe I should switch with Marie. Her room has beige carpet.”
She’d hate that, but would she be better than Jimmy? I wasn’t sure it mattered at this point. I blushed and motioned to the attic space. “Thanks for bringing my things,” I said to Dr. Green.
He winked at me and carried my stuff to the attic, kneeling to place it just inside the door.
“I was just asking your friend if he’d like to join us for dinner Saturday night,” Carol said, with an odd glow in her eyes and a curl to her lips. “Don’t you think that’d be nice, Sang?”
I nodded enthusiastically, filling with hope. This was so odd to me. I thought for sure after her speech downstairs that she’d be very strict.
In my old life, inviting someone over, especially to share a meal, would never have been allowed. It was odd to me.
Carol’s small smile didn’t waver, but her eyes darkened. “Let’s remember to speak when spoken to.”
I stood up straight, sucked in a quick breath. “Yes,” I said simply, and then my voice cracked at the end and I didn’t know what else to say.
Carol made a come-along gesture with her hand to Dr. Green. “Thank you for helping us. Come back at six thirty on Saturday. We eat at seven.”
She walked Dr. Green to the door, and I wasn’t sure I was supposed to follow, but I left the room when Jimmy went to the stairs to watch Dr. Green leave.
I didn’t want him to leave. Despite having won a small battle, I was still stuck here.
And how long would it be before Carol discovered the truth, and she did something drastic?
What plans did she have for me?
Small Spaces
When Dr. Green was gone, Carol called up the stairs. “Sang, I want all of your things put away, and I want that attic space up to my standards of clean before you go to sleep tonight.” She pulled a cell phone from her pocket and pushed the button for it to light up her face. “We have dinner at seven. I need to get started. Jimmy, when you’re done with the bedroom, come help me. We’ll set up a proper chore rotation tomorrow.”
“On it,” Jimmy said, and he flashed a smile at me before he thundered down. He was so loud. He might have been almost my size, but he was made of iron. “I just need the vacuum.”
“At this rate, we’re going to need two,” Carol said. “And we need to get those boxes in the door tonight.”
Didn’t we have two now that she’d moved here? Or had she not brought hers? I listened as they moved through the house. The air tasted familiar to me as I was used to the space, but the house felt alive, more than any other time I’d ever been there.
It felt like Kota’s house when his mother and sister, and maybe even Nathan and a few other guys, were around.
Like a normal house, it was filled with sounds. Carol and Jimmy’s voices. The music Jimmy left running quietly. Marie shuffling around behind her door. My father, from the sound of it, was in his bedroom. It all blended together.
I tightened my lips and felt a surge of confusion inside me.
If only I was normal, this might not be so bad. All I could think of was that every second that passed with me standing at the top of the stairs, I was further away from the life I wanted.
My thoughts ended up on Lillian and her team. Somewhere out there in the world, Lily was with several husbands in a house hidden in the woods. They managed to stay together, in a house all to themselves, without having to skirt around anyone or ask permission.
Jealousy wedged through my heart. I wanted that life so much right now.
Every step we took toward what Lily had meant I’d never be normal. I couldn’t picture something normal when it came to the Academy or the guys.
I’d used to want to be normal, so it was strange to feel it around me, to sense it within my grasp, and to be repulsed by the idea.
I heard the slightest of movements from my room, and for a second, I was worried somehow Marie had snuck past me.
I listened, feeling vibrations and a change of air pressure.
And then nothing.
No. Marie wouldn’t move so silently.
I smiled to myself. I wondered which one of the guys had snuck up here, most likely through the window.
Normal wasn’t meant for me.
I started back to my room, trying to step lightly, and then remembered I didn’t need to sneak around like I used to, at least not now. I walked a little heavier to make my footsteps noticeable if any of them were paying attention.
I caught the smell of
fruit and sweet soap, and the scent threw me off as I realized it was exactly how I smelled at the moment.
Like the bath I’d taken at Victor’s house.
I went to the attic space and peered into the darkness. “Gabriel?” I whispered.
A hand reached out and pulled me in. The door shut behind me.
He hovered over me in the dark, moving me quietly around all the stuff stored just inside the door. I ended up on my butt, sitting up a little, propped up on my elbows.
His nose touched mine.
“Hi,” Gabriel whispered. “How’d you know it was me?”
“I could smell you,” I said.
He made a sniggering noise. “What? Are you saying I stink?”
“You smell like me. We took the same bath, remember?”
“Oh yeah.” He leaned into me and then a glow appeared from his phone, lighting up his face. He was clean, although unshaven, the coarse hairs around his chin and jawline creating shadows, making his face look more lean and defined.
He shined the light in my eyes for a second and then looked at the supplies. “First things on the list: we need light, heat, and I need to mask the sound.” He reached up to the padding along the roof interior. “Good thing we soundproofed this place before, but the door looks warped a bit, probably from the weather change. We need to be careful to make sure it’s securely closed.”
I rubbed my chin, unsure about this. He spoke like he was going to be staying up here. That seemed like we were asking for problems. “Should we put in a lock?”
“If she allows it,” Gabriel said. “Actually, let’s put one in and pretend it was always there. I get the feeling she’ll check the room at some point, so...”
There were heavy thuds on the stairs.
“Jimmy,” I whispered. Exactly what I was worried about. Someone was bound to notice if the guys were around. Jimmy and Carol weren’t going to be easy to manipulate like my heavily medicated stepmother.
I didn’t want to indicate I had a cell phone, so I didn’t want to use the light. Gabriel handed me his keys, which had a mini flashlight, and then sunk far back into the room, to the platform that had a beanbag chair, part of the wall jutting out to hide the extra space back there. He slipped behind the wall.