I moved into the room to sit next to Victor. He looked up at me and at first started to scoot over, but then stopped, looking over his shoulder. He nodded slightly toward Kota, silently trying to tell me something.
I didn’t understand until I looked at Erica. Even though we’d all been hanging around the house, I seemed to end up sitting next to Kota a lot. I suspected it was because Erica assumed Kota and I were dating. I supposed we sort of were. Maybe Victor was suggesting I should sit with Kota now just so there wasn’t any confusion.
I tiptoed hesitantly over to Kota. He had seemed a little irritated with how I’d handled the game earlier. Now, with him spacing out like he was at the television, I wondered if something else was bothering him.
As I got close to the couch, Erica looked up from her braiding. She’d undone the braid and was doing it again. She paused and patted the space between her and Kota. “Come on, Sang,” she said. “The other two should be here at any minute.” She looked over at Kota. “They’re on the way, right?”
Pulled out of his daze, Kota blinked and focused on his mom first and then blinked again and looked at me, seeming surprised to see me there. He stretched out his arm, patting the spot next to him. “Did you want to sit?”
“How late did you stay up, Kota?” his mother asked while I took the spot between them. I sat back so his mother could see him as they spoke, but she returned to her braiding. “You’re usually up at all hours but today you’re sleepwalking. You’re not getting the flu again, are you?”
“No,” Kota said. He moved his arm along the back of the couch, his fingers resting on my shoulder. “I’m fine.”
“One of these years, you won’t be able to bounce back as quickly,” Erica said. She smoothed out the tail of Jessica’s braid and then folded in a hair tie to finish it off. “There, darling daughter of mine. You’ve got the braid of an archeress.”
Jessica scooted forward. “Thanks,” she said, looking at Max, who had come into the room. He sniffed at various gifts and at the boys, who shooed him away from the present pyramid they were starting to build. “Can I give Max something out of his stocking?”
“I don’t see why not,” Erica said. She pointed out the stocking with Max’s name on it, lying on its side at the foot of the fireplace.
Jessica adjusted her pink glasses on her nose and padded over to the stocking, her braid swaying behind her. She pulled out a chew bone, drawing Max’s attention immediately. She had him sit down next to her near the presents to let him chew on it.
Erica sighed, looking over all the gifts and then looked at me, catching my eye. “Did you want a braid?” she asked.
I was surprised to be asked. She’d want to brush my hair? I glanced at Gabriel, who was distracted by the present pyramid, directing Luke to find some smaller presents for the top.
“It would look cute,” she said.
I nodded.
She smiled. “I’ll need more hair bands. Do you want to go fetch them?” she asked. She waved her hand toward the hallway. “They’re in… one of the drawers. I’m drawing a blank as to which one. I just reorganized it this week.”
My heart was beating fast though I wasn’t sure why. Besides Gabriel, no one brushed my hair out or did anything with it.
I stood up quickly, trying to figure out why I was shivering at the idea of her braiding my hair.
I went down the hallway to the bathroom. I was looking at the drawers, trying to figure out which one of the three had hair stuff in it, when footsteps sounded in the hallway. I waited, watching the doorway.
Kota appeared with mussed hair and a tight-lipped expression. He leaned against the frame of the door, arms folded at his chest, and nodded at the cabinet. “It’s the top one,” he said.
“Oh,” I said. I waited, only because he seemed a little irritated. Was it still about the cookies? Nervous, I turned and opened the drawer, finding a packet of hair bands. “Should I bring the whole thing or just one or...”
“Probably two,” he said. He yawned, and then covered his face with his palms, rubbing his cheeks. I might need a nap later.”
“Are you okay?” I asked. I’d never seen him so sleepy. Maybe Erica was onto something when she’d asked if he was getting sick again.
His eyes shifted down and his head tilted forward as he looked at the sink. “I haven’t been sleeping much at all lately.”
“Why not?” I asked, now very worried. I put the hair bands down on the side of the sink and then started to reach for him, but then retracted my hand. I wasn’t sure what to do. Check his temperature?
He stared at the sink and then bent his head to the side, resting it wearily against the door frame. A lock of hair fell across his forehead, shadowing his face more. “I can’t think of a solution.”
His tone was wary and his expression was somber. I reached out, touching his arm. “Kota...”
He lifted his head to look at me, and then down at my palm still on his arm. He sighed. “I’ll be okay. I don’t want to spoil Christmas. I didn’t mean to fuss earlier. I know you were just having fun.”
“I’d be more worried if you don’t say anything and look as down as you do,” I said. “I’d be wondering what’s wrong.”
“You know what’s wrong,” he said in a quieter tone, his green eyes locked on my face, his expression one of desperation, fear.
I frowned, suddenly afraid of the Academy. Could my future be so uncertain that he’d be this stressed out about it? “Why won’t you believe I’ll stay with you?” I asked. “I thought you said I could stay?”
“I’m not even sure if you staying here with us is the right solution,” he said. He looked over his shoulder down the hallway, seeming to listen for a moment before he shooed me further into the bathroom and shut the door behind himself. He leaned against it, the cloth of his T-shirt tightening across his chest.
“Sang, you’re in constant danger around us. It was bad enough with your parents or Hendricks, but now with Volto... And we have other problems—there’s still so many unknowns. It could be the end of the school year before we’re free to leave the school, and if you’re with us, you’ll be involved.”
“Wouldn’t I be involved even if I wasn’t technically in your group?” I asked. “I’d still have to go to school. Hendricks would want to know why I wasn’t with you all anymore. What if...”
He raised a hand to quiet me. “I imagine once the Academy talks to you, even if it’s decided you shouldn’t join for whatever reason, they’ll take steps to make sure you’re removed from your house. Maybe you’ll be placed with any family that exists—any relatives that will take you in. Or possibly with a foster Academy family.
“If you do join a group, you’d probably be put in a starter group with other girls joining up at the same time you are.”
“But I want to stay with you,” I said, suddenly afraid of the options he was laying out. How could those be the only solutions? “Mr. Blackbourne said it was possible. You’re in danger, too. Why do you get to stay and I have to go?”
“Because there’s more to your story than mine,” he said. He reached out, putting his hands on my shoulders to hold to me, looking intently into my eyes. “Things will only get worse for us at Ashley Waters, not better, until there’s a resolution. On top of that, your parents could come back at any second, complicating things. While we have strategies to deal with contingencies, we’re never going to be free of the complications until you turn eighteen. There’s always the chance of the police or social services getting involved if we’re not careful. Volto’s involvement has made it clear that anyone can get to us if they really wanted to. Hendricks could easily make things so much worse. He doesn’t know that one phone call would mean disaster for you. The goal right now is to pull you out of harm’s way before he even thinks to try.”
I pressed my lips together, searching for an answer. Despite not wanting to believe him, what he was saying was true. “Mr. Blackb
ourne believes it’ll work.”
He sighed and then looked down while he held my shoulders. “I’m sure it would, but I’m not sure it’s the right solution.”
“What are you saying?” I asked. “That I should go?”
His shoulders dropped and his head bent forward more. His usually steady and concerned green eyes closed behind the glasses. “I can’t see a scenario where staying with us is better for you and safer than staying with anyone else. Not for a long time.”
I swallowed back the sudden thickness in my throat. Staying with them was the only solution for me. Despite Volto, Hendricks and McCoy, the school, my parents and everything else, I believed being with them had to be right. What about the plan?
But did the boys really even believe in that? We weren’t ready for the Academy yet because Kota didn’t even know, and I wasn’t supposed to be the one to tell him. Outside of that, some of the others weren’t coming around to the idea.
Kota sighed again and then pulled me into a hug. I buried my head into his shoulder, desperately trying to come up with solutions to ease his fears.
“Maybe I’ve just been selfish,” he said. “Being around us meant I could see you more. You being with another group doesn’t mean we won’t ever see each other. I’d still come find you. We could go on normal dates. You can always come over.”
Free time was limited with all of them. If I was with another group, there would be long stretches of time between seeing any of them, especially the more involved they got with the school.
Besides that, it just felt wrong. My heart sank at the thought of being away from them. If it was the right thing to do, why did it feel so wrong?
“It wouldn’t be right to keep putting you in danger when you could be with another group that didn’t have a Volto or Mr. Hendricks to worry about in addition to your parents,” he said. He held onto me tightly and then pulled back to look down at my face. “Family first. Your safety is more important.”
I couldn’t speak. Could he be right?