The next thing I knew, it was Christmas Eve. The boys all collected at Kota’s house, save Dr. Green and Mr. Blackbourne, who would join us the next morning. We watched a marathon of Christmas movies until midnight when Kota proclaimed Santa couldn’t deliver gifts unless everyone was asleep.
Kota’s mother allowed us all to sleep upstairs, under the condition that Jessica was allowed to as well. Jessica took the roll away bed and I took Kota’s while The others spread out on the floor. It was a surprise to me that any of them were here at all and not at their own homes. What about Charlie? Or Pam? Wouldn’t they want their families at home on Christmas Eve?
I did worry about Marie. I’d sent her a small gift, which Nathan walked over to give to her as I wasn’t sure if she wanted to see me. Nathan said she said thank you but there was nothing from her, which I wasn’t surprised by and didn’t expect.
I also sent along something small for my step mother, that I’d told Nathan to tell Marie to say it was from her. Kota made arrangements for Marie to go visit with her on Christmas alone. I hoped she wouldn’t feel left out, but then we didn’t do much for Christmas before. Some guilt weighed on me still. I was leaving her behind and it didn’t really feel right.
I fell deep asleep. I’d suspected I would have been awakened to help put Christmas presents under the tree in the middle of the night, but no one woke me.
???
The moment I opened my eyes Christmas morning, I panicked, sure I had made a terrible mistake.
I was positive that all the Christmas presents for the guys under the tree were all wrong. I wanted to take them back and get them all something different.
Maybe it was because I’d never given Christmas presents to anyone before, and I second guessed every item, and in some instances, couldn’t even remember exactly what I’d selected. Gabriel had picked out some of my gifts. Victor had assured me that the extra ones I’d picked out would be under the tree. The problem was, I had never seen them myself in the flesh. Were they what I’d thought they were? What if I’d gotten a wrong order? Victor had told me what he received and I told him what was for who.
Silent whispers of breathing and light snoring came from around the room. I stared at the ceiling for a long while, gazing at the gray light coming in from the window, pondering if I could slip downstairs and possibly find the items before anyone woke up. Could I take them away and hide them? Where would I even put them?
“Sang,” grumbled Gabriel before he yawned. “Trouble...”
I turned in the bed, looking down at sleeping Jessica, her brown hair a frizzy mess, coming out of her braid. Her glasses were on the table that had been scooted over, her frames next to her brother’s—pink next to the black.
Looking past her, Gabriel and the others had their heads pointed toward the bed, their feet toward the far wall. Silas’s lump was the biggest in the middle, moving as he breathed steadily, North and Kota on either side of him.
Gabriel was at the far end, closest to the bathroom. A stripe of blond hair stuck out from under the blanket.
Had I dreamed him talking?
“Sang,” Gabriel said. “Is it snowing?”
I listened and heard nothing. “Not today.”
“That would have been fucking cool,” he said, his voice huskier than usual. He coughed and it returned to his usual baritone. “Sang, go get me a coffee, please?”
I was bundled warmly in Kota’s bed. I imagined that was the same reason he didn’t want to get up. “Gabriel, I tried. I failed. I’m sorry.” I giggled, unable to stop it from spilling from my lips.
Kota and Victor snickered from underneath their blankets.
Silas shifted to his back, letting out a rumbling groan as he stretched long, lifting his hands so he wouldn’t hit Jessica’s bed. “I’m going to need a good Greek frappe if I’m going to survive.”
“We’ve got Sang’s baby coffee,” Kota said, still lying down. “I think the only other coffee we have right now is instant unless you want to go over to Nathan’s house.”
“Sang’s coffee is baby frappe,” Silas said. When he spoke the word frappe, there was more Greek accent. “Frappe is a Greek invention made from instant coffee.” He rolled onto his side before sitting up, holding himself up with strong bare and bulging arms as his blanket slid off of his chest. He stared at the wall, blinking.
“Frappe?” I asked. It was on my tongue to say Frappuccino but his accent made it sound different. I’d once tried a sip of Kota’s normal black coffee and it had tasted so bitter that I didn’t think I’d ever get to the point that I’d want to drink it. Would a frappe be the same?
Silas breathed in deeply through his nose and then let it out from between his lips. He turned a little to look at me once and then twisted back around to sit up. “Frappuccino is a Frappe cappuccino, aggele.”
Would it really be the same? I supposed if Silas wanted to make one, I’d try it.
“Learn something new every day,” Nathan said. He slowly flipped around onto his stomach, did a pushup and then was up to sit on his heels. His red T-shirt was halfway up on his stomach like he’d tried to push it off while he was sleeping. His boxers were slung low on his hips. “Are we awake now?”
“Yes,” a few of them said at once. North and Gabriel started to get up. Victor remained stationary with the blanket over his head. He was the one closest to the window sea, and the stairs. I wondered if he picked that spot so he could sneak downstairs silently during the night when everyone was finally asleep.
How late had he stayed up?
Kota nudged Victor in the shoulder. “Are you going to get up?”
“I don’t see the point,” Victor said and then flapped open his blanket in a huff. His hair was a mess and he quickly combed it with his fingers, only having moderate success at controlling it. His eyes were barely open. “We have to wait for Mr. Blackbourne and Dr. Green. Who knows when they’ll show up?”
Nathan picked up a pair of black pajama pants and turned around to put them on. “Remember when Dr. Green was sick all night on Christmas? And then he slept in until one in the afternoon? We had to wait until two when they arrived.”
“Worst Christmas ever,” Luke said with a groan. He had been next to Gabriel and was already rolling up the sleeping bag. “He got here and fell asleep on the couch, so we had to wait another two hours. It was nearly sunset before anyone opened anything; too late to play with some of it.”
The boys continued to talk about the different Christmases they had. Jessica eventually woke up and even joined in.
Not having anything to add, I curled up with the blanket around me, listening to every detail. I was sorry when a few talked at once and I couldn’t pay attention to everything; I wanted to know everything.
I wished I had been there myself. The guys’d had years and years to be together, and I felt so left behind. Would I ever feel completely included? There would always be a past that I hadn’t been a part of.
I got up, found my clip, and used my fingers to comb through my hair, twisting it before clipping it back.
The pajamas I wore were a black and pink plaid, with Victoria Secret’s VS logo embroidered on the pocket. They were made of a light flannel, not too hot, and very comfortable.
The other boys didn’t seem to be in a hurry to find other clothes but Mr. Blackbourne would be here at some point. “Should we get dressed?” I asked.
Nathan shrugged, picking up his pillow and sleeping bag and adding them to a pile of stuff tossed to the side of the room for now. “Nope,” he said. “I mean, you can if you want. But the rest of us usually just stay in pajamas.”
“That’s the part my mom likes,” Kota said. “She loves days where she can wear pajamas all day. If we change, she’ll want to change.” He had his glasses on now but strands of hair stuck out on the back of his head. He smoothed his hands over the green T-shirt and then down to his matching flannel pajama pants. He picked up his neatly folded blanket and his pillow, adding them t
o the collection of bed things. “I guess someone should heat up breakfast.”
Gabriel was the first into the bathroom and Victor waited for him to finish to go next while the others went downstairs. Watching them leave, I stayed in the bed, waiting my turn behind Victor.
Victor smiled, though with dark shadows under his eyes—a tired ember glowing inside them. “Morning.”
“How’d it go?” I whispered to him, worried Gabriel could hear us.
“Fine. Everything’s ready to go. I hid yours pretty well, so they might not even notice them until we start passing gifts out.”
I smiled and pressed my palms against my thighs, itching to ask a million questions about my choices. Too late now, I supposed. Maybe they would forgive me if I’d picked things they didn’t like.
“You go ahead of me,” he said.
“You were in line.”
“I can wait.”
“So can I.”
The toilet flushed and the door opened. Gabriel appeared in his black pajama pants and a bright orange tank shirt. His blond locks were brushed back neatly, blending with the russet. His crystal eyes landed on us and he jerked his head back, cheeks reddening. “Give a man some room. Geez. Listening in...”
“We didn’t hear anything,” Victor said. He waved me on. “You go ahead.”
Gabriel’s face reddened some more until his ears were pink. He put an arm around my waist and then urged me on toward the stairs. There was an odd collection of smells, but the thickest was a fresh spray of Kota’s spice scent. Had Gabriel sprayed it on himself just now? “You go, Vic. She should go downstairs.”