He stood close to me, so his head was bent forward as he looked down at my face. “We’re young, Sang. I can’t forget that. We think we know what we want now, but in the future, that might change. Sometimes I wonder if we shouldn’t put this off for a while, and see how we feel then.”
The thought made my heart sink, and I was shaking my head before my brain could register his meaning. “I don’t understand,” I said. “I thought you wanted this.”
“I want you to be happy, Sang,” he said. He reached out, putting a warm palm against my neck and holding me. “We haven’t really talked about this since last week.”
“I kept meaning to talk to you,” I said. I touched my forefinger and thumb together inside my pocket, smoothing my skin, anxiety building in me at his words. “I should talk to Lily, too, but I don’t even know where to start.” Every time I tried, it was like I expected some magical solution that would have it all make sense to it. Nothing she said made me feel different. I felt stuck, wanting them to be sure, and not feeling stable enough to say I was into it until that point.
North pressed his lips together and blinked slowly, considering. “Maybe you should talk to Luke,” he said.
“I’m going to,” I said. “He’s probably having a tough time thinking through it.”
“I mean, because I’m not really sure if you’re ready for this, either. Maybe this will be a dual purpose. You can find out together what you want.”
I had to grit my teeth against the wave of sudden sadness that filled me. Did he not believe that I cared about him? Or that I cared about the rest of them? “I want you to be happy, too,” I said in a desperate tone, giving away more than I meant to.
North sighed and then pulled his hands from his pockets and tugged me to him. He wrapped his arms around my shoulders and neck, pulling me into his chest.
We hugged for a while, the warmth of his body against mine, my cheek against his chest. He pressed his face down toward the top of my head, his lips moving against my scalp when he spoke. “I will be,” he said, “but only if you’re happy.”
I buried my face into his black T-shirt and tried to catch myself before I teared up. It felt wrong that he should wait to be happy. Wasn’t this what he wanted? For us to work together to bring the family closer? “I’m just so nervous,” I said. “I don’t know where to start with this. And it feels selfish to consider it. I don’t know what I’m doing.”
He held me tighter, the muscles in his arms firm around my shoulders. “No one does, Sang. No one. Relationships are always hard.”
I sniffed, getting a lungful of his musk. I breathed it in again, finding comfort in his arms. “Even families,” I said, repeating something Mr. Blackbourne had told me. “Even friends.”
“Even families and friends,” he echoed. He dipped his head down, until his nose buried into my hair and he kissed my scalp. “The really good relationships are extra hard. You have to put a lot of effort into it.” He lifted his head and pulled back enough that he could look at me. “I don’t mean to sound down. I’m just realistic. All of this really relies on you.”
“Me?” I said.
“What’s the point if you’re not into it?” he asked. “That’s the core issue. I think Mr. Blackbourne might have been wrong to wait to see if us guys were into this before we approached you about it. What would any of that matter if you weren’t at the heart of it?” He let go of my shoulder to lift my chin between his fingers. “I should have come to you first when we learned about it. Why put them all through this if you were never going to accept it?”
I wasn’t sure if I could have handled that then or even now. I wanted to believe; I liked the idea but the execution was hard to picture. How would it work? What about jealousy? What if Kota wasn’t interested? There were so many questions, and with each additional guy that seemed to agree to it, the more complicated the puzzle became.
The biggest concern I had was if they learned I was really interested that they might turn away, unwilling to try. There would be no going back and our relationships would change.
North licked his lips and then opened his mouth like he was going to say something, when he looked up over my head. His eyes narrowed, head tilted slightly, like he was unsure what he was seeing.
Suddenly his grip on me tightened, and he bared his teeth. “Shit,” he said.
I started to turn. Was it McCoy? Had he gotten away? Was it one of Mr. Hendricks’s spies watching us? I was supposed to be hidden, but the street had been clear. We had meant to hurry along and I’d distracted us.
I pulled myself free of his grasp, and looked around, trying to identify what was bothering him. I was looking out toward the street, but then realized he wasn’t looking at the street, but up at Kota’s front porch window.
My heart stopped. Was it Kota? Had he seen? Would he be upset?
But then I focused again. Somehow, I had missed the white mask hanging mid-pane on one of the windows, looking out at the street, as if placed there for Halloween. But Halloween was long past and the mask hadn’t been there before.
I stepped back, into North, as if the face could turn and look at me. The mask stared blankly out at the street.
North turned, looking at the second window on the other side of the door. Another mask was there, in the same position.
North pulled away from me, going into the lawn. I followed, dreading it but also needing to see.
I stood with him in the lawn, looking back at the house. Each window had a similar mask, including one on Kota’s upstairs bedroom. We were just up there. How did one get put up there?
Several white masks looked back out at us. Every window had one.
“Volto was here?” I asked, stepping closer to North, reaching for his hand. It was obvious Volto had been there, but I was hoping North would say it wasn’t true and that the masks had been there for another reason.
Volto had a habit of leaving his calling card whenever he showed up lately. What did he want now?
North looked at the different windows, frowning. “Kota, Nathan or Gabriel would have seen these when they came in. It had to have happened after they got here.”
“Luke didn’t say anything about it when he left,” I said.
North’s frown deepened. He put his hands on his hips and then looked toward the garage. “Max also didn’t bark.”
I didn’t fully understand why this was important, but the intensity in North’s dark eyes struck right into my center. “Max?” I asked.
He nodded toward the garage and I followed his gaze. Max was on his lead, padding around the driveway. The lead was long enough to allow him to start down the small sidewalk that led to the front steps. He couldn’t get far, but he would have noticed anyone out front.
“He didn’t bark,” I said, considering North’s comment and turning back to look at the masks. “He knows whoever did this.”
North shifted his jaw, grinding his teeth. “Luke left for the diner just a little while ago. I can’t picture Volto being able to do this after Luke left and keep Max from barking.”
“Do you think Luke would do such a thing?” I asked. “This seems a little too far of a prank, even for him.” Luke had been upset, but was also very sweet. He would have known something like this was too serious to joke about.
However, I considered the most logical answer, and I didn’t like the results. Luke had the ability to get up to Kota’s window quietly enough to not cause us alarm. Max knew Luke and wouldn’t have barked. Luke had access to masks, ones we’d collected from Volto when he’d left them behind. The more I thought about it, the more Luke seemed to be our best guess.
North brushed a palm against his cheek. “I hate to say this, but I really hope it is Luke pulling a prank.” He turned his head, looking down at me. “I don’t want to think of the alternative.”
“What’s that?”
He pressed his lips together, shaking his head. “No. Don’t make me say it.”
He turned toward the
house and jogged to it. He took one of the masks off the window. He flipped it over in his hands and checked it out.
I glanced nervously at the road. I was spending a lot of time in the street, but I didn’t see any new cars driving up. I went to the steps, looking up at him, a little afraid to see for myself what he might be looking at. “Is there something there?”
“Nothing,” he said. He looked at the other one on the opposite side of the door. He marched over and ripped it off. “Help me get these off.”
We did the bottom row quickly, but Kota’s second-floor window was a little more complicated.
As we stood on the lawn, considering how to get it down, I thought about the night, not too long ago, when Luke and I had climbed a roof very quietly. He could have done this. It saddened me to think he might have. He could get into some serious trouble, especially with Mr. Blackbourne.
But if Luke hadn’t done it, it meant a host of other problems for us. It meant Volto was just as sneaky, and he could get past Max, which meant he’d spent some time here. That was too close.
“I’ll have to go upstairs to grab it,” North said, still looking at the last mask. He went over to the trash cans and opened one of the lids, dropping the stack of masks inside before shutting it again. “I’m not sure if I want to draw attention to it now if Kota hasn’t noticed. Give me a minute to think about this. Let me get you to the diner.”