“Do you want any music?” he asked, still standing by the bed. The light from his window outlined his strong chest and shoulders.
“Sure,” I said. I wasn’t sure if I could sleep listening for sounds of his family or thinking his family could be listening to us, even if we were only sleeping.
He moved away, toward his desk, and while I couldn’t see what he was doing, there was a click click, and the volume of a Breaking Benjamin song was turned up. I think I had the same song in a collection of CDs somewhere when I used to download music, one of the only things I was permitted to do at my house when my parents were still around. With that, Silas pulled the blanket back, sliding into the bed next to me.
The pillow under my head smelled fresh and clean, but the bed smelled exactly like Silas. I breathed it in, clutching the pillow and pulling the blanket up over my shoulder to cover myself.
We settled in. Silas was on his side facing away from me. I thought maybe he’d say good night or something and I waited for him to do so. Moments passed until I heard his steady breathing next to me.
I moved my legs as quietly as I could, feeling the expanse of the bed around me. It was tempting to roll around in it to sleep on every square inch. It was comfortable, too.
Time passed and I dozed, but I was also getting cold. The air conditioning worked a little too well. I did my best to cover myself with the blanket but the air cut right through. I turned over, edging close to Silas, curling up next to him. To my delight, he was like a furnace, warmth pouring from him in waves. I drew closer to steal some of it.
I bumped against him and he jumped, turning onto his back and then moving over a little. Did he think I was asking for more room? Or had he forgotten I was there in his sleep? In the dark, I couldn’t see if I’d woken him up or if it was just him moving in his sleep. I held myself back from moving in against him again.
Only the spot he’d given up to me cooled off quickly and I was back to being too cold.
I dozed more, but began to shiver. Silas didn’t think he could sleep in my attic before because it was too hot and stifling. I couldn’t sleep in his bedroom. It was an igloo.
Or was I too used to Nathan sleeping so close next to me?
Needing Silas’s warmth, I turned over again, trying my best to hover close to him, but not touch or wake him. Despite my best efforts, my arm brushed his. He mumbled something, turned over to his side facing away from me, further than before.
Assuming now he was half-awake and was comfortable again, I edged next to him, taking up the spot he’d just warmed and pressed my back against his.
He grunted next to me. “Aggele Mou.”
“Hm?” I asked, rolling onto my back so it was just my arm near him. Maybe I was keeping him awake by getting that close.
He flipped over toward me and propped himself up onto his elbow, looking down at my face. He held up his pinkie finger at me. “You’re this tiny and you’re taking up the entire bed. Scoot over.”
“I wasn’t trying to take up the bed.” I moaned, rolling over a few times, dragging the pillow with me.
“What were you doing?”
“I was cold.”
“Oh...oh.” Silas slid over to me, closer than before, but still an inch or two away. He propped himself up on his elbow, looking down at my face. “Why didn’t you say anything?”
“I thought you were sleeping already.”
“And you were trying to nudge me awake?”
My finger fluttered to my mouth, pushing my lower lip into my teeth as I spoke. “No.”
“What were you doing?”
“Trying to steal your body heat.”
The edge of his mouth curled up. He captured my hand and pulled me toward him. My heart thundered as he wrapped his arms around me, one going under my head like a pillow. With his free hand, he yanked the blanket up around us, before wrapping his arm around my waist, stuffing his fingers between my hip and the bed. I sought out a place to put my hands, and ended up putting them against his chest. He pressed his face to the top of my head.
“Better?” he whispered against me.
“Yes,” I whispered back, feeling my breath warming the space between my lips and his chest.
He held me tighter, nuzzled my forehead with his cheek. “Aggele?”
“Yes, Silas?”
Pause. “Did you mean it?”
I blinked, my lashes brushing across his skin. “Mean what?”
“What you told my dad. What you said when he asked if you were my girlfriend. Did you mean it?”
My body rattled involuntarily. I knew what I wanted to say, despite the thick layer of guilt as my mind relentlessly flashed images of Kota, North and the others. How could I say no now? It would be lying to say I wasn’t enjoying his touches and the fun we had together. Maybe it was because being in his arms right then was so overwhelming. Maybe I was weak from a full belly, his warmth seeping into my bones, and the smell of his ocean scent filling every part of my lungs. The touch of his heartbeat against me and mine in my chest pushed the answer from my lips. “If you want me to be.”
Silas sucked in a breath against me and started to sit up, pulling me along with him. He drew me into him until I was straddling him as he sat cross-legged on the bed. My knees were on either side of his hips, as his hands held me by the waist, his face close to mine. “Say it, Aggele.”
I didn’t understand. My lips parted, my tongue dancing behind my teeth as I knew I had to say something, but I wasn’t sure what he wanted from me. My body trembled with every heartbeat shaking in my chest. “Silas...”
“Tell me you want me to be your boyfriend,” he demanded in a deep whisper. In the glow from the streetlight, his dark eyes glittered as he focused on my face. “I want to hear you say it.”
“I...” I started, feeling overwhelmed, unsteady, guilty, unsure, but still wanting, “Silas, I...”
One hand clutched at my waist, while the other found my chin in the dark. He held it between two fingers, forcing me to look at his eyes. “Aggele Mou...”
“I want to be yours...” I managed, meaning to say your girlfriend, but another shiver sparked through my spine, and my voice caught before I could finish.
Silas drew me in tight. The hand at my face moved to the back of my head, pulling me until my cheek was next to his, the hand at my hip moving to the small of my back as my breasts pressed against his chest. My arms were around his neck again, my fingers weaving their way into his hair, rubbing at the base of his scalp.
“Will you?” he whispered, his breath hot against my ear, his lips tracing the edge of my earlobe “Sang, will you be my girlfriend?”
“Yes,” I whispered back in the dark, the guilt pushed too far to the back of my mind to matter anymore. Silas was right here. They were far away. What was I waiting for? For something that probably didn’t exist and may not ever happen? Victor wanted to take me on a date. Nathan wanted to wait for something I wasn’t sure about.
Silas wanted to claim me. Here was Silas now. He’d saved me from dying in the shower when my mother had tied me up. He saved me from North’s anger at the sleepover. He was there for me through so much. I would do anything to make him happy. I was making myself happy, because I felt so strongly for him and yearned to feel connected. “Yes, Silas.”
The hand at the small of my back pressed into me as he pulled me in tight enough that the air escaped from my lungs. My cheek was pressing to his. He buried his face into my shoulder and his lips brushed against my skin. Was that a kiss?
Music played around us, filling my ears against the sound of my heart beating and his deep breaths.
Silas lifted me again, carrying me with him back against his bed. His arm moved under my head like a pillow, and his other hand rested against my stomach, sending sparks shooting through my core. I cuddled into him, my hands finding his chest. He cradled me against his body. His lips found my temple, placing a gentle kiss that sent another wave of sparks through me.
We snuggled together like that in his bed in the dark. I fought back the worries, guilt and questions about what this meant.
Tonight, I was Silas’s girlfriend.
Invisible Brother
Sometime in the middle of the night, I had to use the restroom.
I hesitated because Silas was dead quiet and I didn’t want to wake him.
At one point, the air conditioner kicked on again. I used it for cover and rolled over on the bed to the furthest side. As quietly as I could, I tiptoed to the door, unlocking it so I could get out.
I stepped down the hall, and stopped short when I noticed the closest bathroom had the light on, and the door was closed. Was someone in there? I didn’t want to knock to find out, and remembered there was another bathroom closer to the living room.
I crept down the hall. The sound of sports news greeted me.
From the edge of the hallway, I peeked in.
Charlie was in the same chair he’d been in before. I could only see the top of his head, and his arm that stretched out toward the other armrest, looking like he was holding hands with someone who wasn’t there.
He was still, like he was asleep. He slept in the living room? Did he not like his own bedroom? He did have one, didn’t he?
I tiptoed to the bathroom. I used it, taking my time and washed my hands. For a long time, I stood there, wanting to go and sleep, but I couldn’t hear anything out there, and I didn’t want to bump into Charlie if he had woken up.
I swallowed back my timid thoughts. I only had to go back to Silas’s room. Once I was there, I’d be safe.
Not that I wasn’t safe with Charlie, but I was in just a T-shirt.
I turned the light off and then cracked open the door. I waited there, listening.
Footsteps sounded down the hallway. I closed the door a little, leaving only a sliver, but kept my hand on the knob. Old habits.
A slim figure swept by. It was Silas’s brother, I knew, although I couldn’t see his features.