“Yes,” he said. “Much better. Shit, you do have boobs.”
Nathan smacked him in the arm.
“Ow, hey.” Gabriel rubbed at the new red mark on his skin. “I was complimenting her. Jeez, I can’t tease her. I can’t compliment her.”
Nathan narrowed his eyes at him but said nothing.
I followed the guys into a Macy’s. Gabriel floated to the racks with the newest clothes on display. “Stand still over here,” he said. He directed me with a finger until I was beside him.
One by one, he held up blouses, skirts, shorts, pants and everything else hanging on display. He would tuck the hanger into my neck or to my waist and flatten the material over my stomach or thighs to get an idea of how it would look. I think he pulled down nearly one of everything. When he didn’t like something, he’d hang it backward on the rack. When he did like something, he passed it off to Nathan to hold on to.
Victor had mysteriously disappeared.
“Nathan?” I asked while Gabriel had drifted away to pull jeans out of shelves to check the sizes. “Where did Victor get that black credit card?”
Nathan juggled the collection of clothes in his arms. “Don’t you know? Victor’s parents are loaded. They gave him that thing when he was still in diapers.”
“Won’t they notice all this?” I held up my arms where the pink underwear bags were still hanging.
“Probably not,” he said. His lips curved in the corners. “If they did, they wouldn’t care. They only get interested in what he does when he’s about to play the piano at one of his fancy concerts.”
My eyes widened. I knew he played piano but I hadn’t heard about this. “He plays for other people?”
“Well, yeah. He’s really good. He hates the concerts though. His parents are usually the ones that sign him up for that. They like showing him off.”
I sighed, thinking about what it must be like to have parents that were rich. It was very sweet of Victor to volunteer to buy clothes for me. I didn’t know how to share my appreciation. A warm spot fluttered in my heart for Victor. I reminded myself to try to thank him again for everything later. It was important to me to let him know.
My insides rattled thinking of the eight hundred dollars he’d already spent so far.
Gabriel snapped his fingers in the air at the two of us. “Are we ready for fitting?”
I slid my eyes over to look at Nathan, pleading silently with him to help me.
He shook his head, grinning. “Nu uh,” he said. “We’ve all gone through this. It’s your turn to get poked and prodded by him.”
Gabriel led the way to where the fitting rooms were. They were unattended and the fitting area was empty.
The boys joined me inside. Nathan dropped the clothes onto a bench and collapsed into the seat next to the pile. Gabriel picked out a couple of shirts and shorts and handed them to me. “Get in there and do it.”
I locked the latch on the door to the fitting room and froze nervously in front of the mirror. My fingers traced over the buttons at the neck of Kota’s shirt. Cotton fibers kissed my fingertips in return. His shirt didn’t look terrible on me, even if it wasn’t the best fitting thing. It felt far different than when I was wearing Derrick’s shirt. Just like when I was wearing Victor’s shirt at school, I felt comfortable. It was like wearing a piece of the boys with me, and I felt protected. My heart warmed at the thought of all of them and I wondered what they thought when they saw me wearing something that belonged to them. Did they feel this same connection with me that I felt?
I undressed and slipped on the new clothes. I sucked down some courage and opened the door again. My chin dipped to my neck and I shuffled forward in my bare feet.
Gabriel and Nathan had been talking and they turned their eyes toward me. Nathan’s eyes lit up. Gabriel, however, lifted his fist, thumb down.
“No,” he said. “It’s awful.”
I checked the pink cotton t-shirt and the jean shorts he had given me. “What’s wrong with them?”
“They don’t fit.” He picked up another set of clothes from the pile. “Try these.”
I slid my eyes to Nathan.
“Your turn,” he mouthed to me from behind Gabriel’s back.
I sighed, locking myself back into the room. According to the mirror, the shirt appeared to fit just fine. The shorts looked a little weird on me but they sat on my hips. What did he mean?
I tried on the next pair of black cotton shorts. They sat low on my hips and were too short. They almost felt like underwear. I pulled on a green t-shirt with quarter sleeves.
This time I just stood inside the doorway. I didn’t want to step forward and let other people who might be around see these shorts on me.
When the boys turned to me, both of their mouths dropped.
My cheeks flashed with heat. “Too short,” I said.
Gabriel nodded. “I like that shirt, though. Keep that.” He picked out a skirt from the pile and tossed it to me. “Keep the shirt on but put this on with it.”
I spent an hour in Macy’s trying on several dozen items of clothes and in different combinations. Gabriel nit picked his way through the collection, discarding the unwanted clothes into a bin and created a separate pile for anything that met his approval.
I hovered just inside the door of the dressing room. I got tired of stepping out every time. Gabriel was relentless with his opinion. “Too tight. Too short. Doesn’t fit.”
“What do you mean when you say it doesn’t fit?” I asked when he rejected what seemed like a perfectly good shirt. “It’s the right size.”
“No,” he said. “It doesn’t fit you. Your personality. Your style. It’s not what we want.”
“What do we want?”
“Clothes are telling everyone who you are in one glance. What do you want to say?”
“What am I supposed to be saying?” It was confusing. How can people know what you are like in your clothes?
He laughed, his bright blue eyes lighting up. “You know it when you feel it. Don’t worry. I’ve got this. Just trust me.”
When I was back in Kota’s shirt and done, I slumped onto the bench next to Nathan while Gabriel went out to find a smaller size in a pair of shorts he liked. “I’m exhausted,” I said.
Nathan laughed. He dropped his palm o
nto my back. “Sweetie, you just started.”
“Tell me that after we’re done here, they’ll be happy,” I said.
The corner of his mouth lifted and he shook his head at me. “They’re busting their asses to make you happy.”
“I’m fine!” My voice strained as my tone rose. It probably sounded like I was complaining but I was tired and stressed. “I keep telling them that. I’m happy.”
“Your sister just gave all your clothes to the bratty girl next door and your parents never let you out of the house and you’ve had all kinds of crazy things going on.”
“But I’m not that bad,” I said. “I’m here with you.” I meant to say you guys, but for some reason my voice stopped in my throat and by the time I swallowed and could say it, it was just too late to say anything more.
He nodded slowly. His blue eyes appeared to glow. “What do you want to do?”
“I... I want them to know they don’t have to do this for me. It’s just a little overwhelming.”
“You’re not used to the attention,” he confirmed.
“Maybe.”
He chuckled again. “You’ve landed yourself in the wrong group of friends. We’re always up in each other’s business.”
“Is this what it’s always like?” I asked. I turned my head to face him. “Is this normal?”
His jaw set and that serious look returned. “It’s been different with you here.”
I raised my eyebrow at him, confused by his comment. “In a bad way?”
He flinched and it was like he was bringing himself out of his deep thoughts. “No. I mean with us,” he said. “We’ve been together for so long. I guess we just worked out this system. We do our part.”
“What’s your part?”
He half smiled again. “Right now I’m holding clothes while Vic’s run off to play and Gabriel’s probably getting a one-over by the attendants as he’s picking out girl clothes.”
I laughed at how silly and overly simple he put it. He seemed pleased with this. “So what’s my part?” I asked. “I mean am I just throwing everything out of whack or what?”
He shrugged, nudging me with his arm. “We’re figuring it out. Don’t worry about it.”