Nathan shook his head. “Don’t really care what anyone else thinks.”
My heart continued to melt. “Can we still sit on the bus together?” I asked.
Kota nodded. “It should be okay. We’ll let you get off the bus first, though. We’ll follow you to Dr. Green’s office and will wait in the hall.”
The bus appeared around the bend. I picked up my book bag and Kota snatched up my violin for me. I shot him a look but he didn’t seem to notice. Maybe this had become a new habit. My heart warmed at the thought of it.
On the bus, I slid in next to Kota and his arm went around me. Nathan fell in next to me, his palm seeking out mine to hold. I’d grown accustomed to their touches this week, they did it so often. This felt different, almost defiant.
Kota’s fingers clutched my shoulder. Nathan’s palm warmed mine. They were on this bus because of me. Marie wouldn’t do the same if she had another opportunity to get to school. The boys and I were a team. I wanted to feel it stronger than I did, that I was really a part of them. Maybe over time, I’d accept it as easily as they seemed to do with each other every day.
I dreaded getting to the school. It meant they would have to pull away and I would be without them for an entire day, at a place where I was supposed to be able to have free access to them without the overhanging fear of my mother’s wrath. Now that I knew how warming and addicting touching could be, I regretted agreeing to Dr. Green’s plan so quickly.
When the bus pulled into the school lot, we waited until most of the kids had gotten off the bus. Nathan backed up so I could get out. This time I did take my violin case and my book bag. Off of the bus, I started out alone. I sensed Nathan and Kota behind me, at a distance but still within eyesight. Hunters and the hunted.
The hallways buzzed softly with activity. The majority of students hadn’t arrived yet. I headed straight to the main office. The secretary at the desk gave me an eyeball, confused as to why I’d entered. I asked the secretary at the desk for Dr. Green’s office as I didn’t want to assume I could go beyond the doors without permission. I took her directions and went down a hallway and knocked at the closed, unmarked door.
The door opened and Mr. Blackbourne’s face appeared in the doorway. His steel eyes looked over me once and he opened the door wider for me to enter. When I was inside, he closed the door and turned to me.
“Miss Sorenson,” he said, nodding to me in greeting.
“Mr. Blackbourne,” I replied.
Dr. Green was at his desk. His eyes lit up at seeing me. “Good morning,” he said. “Did you bring your phone?”
My face started to heat up when I realized I should probably have taken it out of my bra before I entered. Unable to find a reason to leave and come back, I put down my things by the edge of his desk and reached in for it quickly, holding it out to him.
Mr. Blackbourne’s eyes narrowed for a moment at me. “Could you find a more inconspicuous place to put it?”
“I needed one that was close by without being obvious,” I said quietly. “I should only need it for an emergency. I won’t use it otherwise.”
His face softened. He seemed pleased with this.
Dr. Green pulled a laptop from his bag and he hooked it up to my phone. A loading bar popped up on the laptop screen. “Give this a minute,” he said.
I stood uncomfortably in their office, unsure of what to say. I wished Kota or one of the others were there to intervene.
Mr. Blackbourne leaned against his desk, his arms folded across his chest. He gazed down at me. “I understand you’ll be separating yourself from the boys today,” he said.
I nodded. “I’ll do what needs to be done.”
“If Principal Hendricks or Mr. McCoy talks to you, have all questions redirected to me.” He nodded to Dr. Green and the phone he was holding. “You’ll be getting our numbers. I expect a call if they approach you at any time. Try to remember exactly what they ask you. I’ll want to know everything.”
“I understand.”
“And come find me if some of the students are being a little too unkind,” Dr. Green said. He unplugged my phone and pushed a button on the touch screen. He curled a finger at me to indicate that I should step closer. I hovered over him so he could show me the screen. “These apps reach each of us. Can you guess which ones?”
The phone screen had nine different apps added. It was obvious to me which ones belonged to who and I pointed them out. “The baseball is Silas, the violin, Mr. Blackbourne, music notes for Victor, the calculator for Kota, the paint brush for Gabriel, the hand weight for Nathan, Luke’s pancakes, North’s black car, and the Japanese word there is for you.”
Dr. Green brightened. He poked a forefinger at my head in a tease. “I would have given you bonus points if you could have told me what the word means.”
“What does it mean?”
“When you figure it out, I’ll give you those points.” He punched a finger at his icon on my phone and the application opened to reveal a panel of four different square buttons in the middle. “All you have to do is hit one of these. Red is emergency and it’ll send me a text message with your approximate location. Green places a call that will cut you through an emergency line so even if my phone is on silent or if I’m on the line, it’ll send your phone call through instantly. White is a quick text message that’s not for a real emergency but that you’re feeling uncomfortable and could use some help. The big black one will dial our numbers without using the emergency service.” He closed the app and passed the phone to me. “I suppose I shouldn’t have to tell you that those emergency buttons should be used very sparingly.”
I nodded, nervous now that the phone could do something like that. I made sure to turn the screen off before putting it back into place in my bra. I didn’t want to hit one accidentally. “What about the boys? Could they reach me?”
Dr. Green smiled softly. “I haven’t added you. I don’t think they’ll be calling you in an emergency.”
That was probably true, but it was disappointing. I liked to think I could help in some small way. I smiled at him and collected my things from the floor.
“Where are you going?” Dr. Green asked, looking curious.
“Kota and Nathan are waiting outside for me. I’m supposed to walk around the building a few times and find a place in the courtyard opposite of where they’re usually sitting.”
Mr. Blackbourne shook his head. “You should try talking to other people.”
“I’m just trying to get through Friday without any more incidents,” I said.
The corner of Mr. Blackbourne’s mouth dipped. “Are you sure you can handle this?”
“I’ve managed this far,” I promised.
That didn’t seem to be the answer he was hoping for but he nodded shortly at me. “Call if you need anything,” he said. He opened the door for me.
I stepped out into the hallway with my heart pounding. The moment the door was closed behind me, it felt like the end. My hand fluttered to the base of my neck. I straightened and moved forward. Kota and the others would be nearby, I kept telling myself. I needed to think calmly and be aware of others and keep my head down.
Out in the hallway, I flit
ted my eyes around at the many faces but Kota and Nathan had disappeared into the crowd. I waited only for a moment to make sure they had noticed I was out. I picked a direction and headed through the throng of students.
The feeling was so familiar to me. I kept my eyes straight ahead, not looking right or left to avoid attention. I walked at a slower pace, too. I took a loop through the main hallway, and proceeded through side doors that lead down another hall toward the cafeteria. Chattering filled my ears. Was that my name being spoken? Were they watching me walking alone? Did they think something was out of place? Did anyone care at all?
The cafeteria was busy. The tables were full and I weaved my way through them. A couple of whistles sounded. I felt my heart racing, hoping they weren’t aimed at me. I ignored it and no one stopped me. I did my best to look as if I was heading to somewhere specific and didn’t have time to bother with them. At certain points I was worried I might lose Kota and Nathan as I was surrounded by people.
I made the turn around again to the main hallway and opened the door to the courtyard. I caught sight of Victor and Gabriel in the corner. I felt their gazes on me as I turned in the opposite direction for a bench on the other side of the courtyard.
I found a bench where a thin boy with bad acne had his head buried in a book, trying to look as small and inconspicuous as I was trying to go for. Perfect, I thought. It was where I would belong. The no-name, nobody-special spot.
I plopped my things down at the foot of the bench, pulled the book out that we were supposed to be reading for English. I tried to appear focused on it but I couldn’t help but glance up on occasion. I could easily see Kota and the others across the courtyard. I tried not to stare and draw attention.
I recognized a handful of the people that hung around the courtyard. There were some gamer geeks on the next bench over. The conversation revolved around Halo and other video games and some talk about weekend plans. There were a couple of hippy groups sitting together in the grass. For the most part they were quiet. One of the boys had his head buried in a girl’s lap and appeared to be asleep.